Pity party...table for one...Internet trolls can move along, there is nothing to see here.

getfuzzyfan40
getfuzzyfan40 Posts: 8 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
I am sorry to say that the internet trolls will have a field day with this post but I am hoping that there is someone out there that can actually help me with my issue. I have lost and gained the same 50-75 lbs probably 8 times or more. Now I am over 50 and it keeps getting harder and harder to lose. The real problem is that I really hate myself when I am heavy. I can barely get through the day without berating myself over the grossness that is my body. I have seen a therapist regarding this and after a year of sessions I was 16 pounds heavier then when I started and not any closer to knowing why I hate myself so. I am kind, smart, funny and generous to others, yet I can't figure out this weight loss thing. I am now the heaviest I have ever been and I am so tired of being the largest invisible person in every room I am in. Have any of you had this problem and successfully overcome it?

Replies

  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    Do you track?

    Do you exercise?

    What are your stats?
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,982 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    Do you track?

    Do you exercise?

    What are your stats?
    It's not really a food issue. It's a personal/psychological issue. Food is being used to temper feelings.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png


  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    You need to work on improving your self confidence. Try learning a new skill. I would strongly suggest that you should find a therapist to talk to about your issues. Since this is not so much about your diet as it is about your mental health. At least for me I know I could not even begin to address my eating habits until I was able to feel good about and value myself. For me martial arts was the path that helped me. And yes at 50 you can still do things like that even as a beginner.
  • aventuramt
    aventuramt Posts: 16 Member
    I know the feeling of being the biggest invisible person, I have been there. Now I am working out every day and don't care if I am invisible or not to others. I am not invisible to myself. I think you should stop the negative feelings and start living. The world is not perfect, life is not perfect, others are not perfect, I am not perfect. .. so what!, start living for yourself! . You can do it.
  • csteuter
    csteuter Posts: 87 Member
    Understand these feelings. It's hard to find the energy for good choices but sometimes forcing yourself until it becomes a habit is the best you can do. Best wishes to you.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    You are really starting out on the defensive with that post. What makes you think your story, about the struggles with losing and regaining weight, which is very common here, will bring out the "internet trolls"?

    What are your stats, what are your goals, and what is your deficit set at? Is this your first time using My Fitness Pal? What methods have you tried in the past that were not sustainable? What else may have contributed to the yoyo dieting? Stress, life, medical issues?

    I wouldn't assume people are trolls off the bat but be prepared that people are going to ask questions and give advice that you may or may my like or agree with. That doesn't automatically make them trolls.

    Good luck, I think if you are receptive you will find a lot of helpful people here.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    Do you track?

    Do you exercise?

    What are your stats?

    Sometimes...the answer lies in other places besides counting calories. Until she can find the answers to why she feels this way about herself...all of those things you mentioned...won't change anything.

    To the OP...

    There was a point in my life that I felt similar to how you feel...I took a trip backwards in life...searching for the reasons. I eventually found them...it wasn't until that point that I was finally able to move forward. I still have times that I slip back in to that mode of thinking that "I am not worth it...I deserve to be unhappy" but they are fewer and further between. When I fall now...I accept it...get back up...and start the journey again.

    I wish you luck...it is not easy sometimes to face why we feel the way that we do and to understand how it affects the way that we live our lives.

  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
    are u taking antidepressants? sometimes we can't get ourselves out of the hole we dig ourselves. weight isn't the end all be all of who we are. maybe u actually need to take the focus off the scale and more on health. and all around health. is there maybe some kind of group u can join? maybe u could get into a hobby that also involves fitness. i feel for u and wish there was an easy answer
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    If this one isnt helping, then try another shrink or maybe overeaters anonymous. Sounds like you have some issues that are just surfacing through food. Obviously you know why you are putting on weight by eating more than you need, but really why you are in the cycle imo would be soemthing you still need professional help with .
  • getfuzzyfan40
    getfuzzyfan40 Posts: 8 Member
    I have been successful in many facets of my life...including losing the weight...I have lost weight and reached goal through Weight Watchers (multiple times), Jenny Craig, Spark and MFP. Each time I follow the program without waivering and meet with success and then a major change happens in my life and I can't make the adjustment...change jobs/shifts, graduate school (I've made 4 major career changes in my life looking for happy)family dynamics change by losing/gaining a member or an injury occurs (once a shoulder and the other an achilles tendon repair )and my progress is halted. My current stats are a big fat zilch. I am about 100 pounds overweight although I would settle for losing 75. As I said, after a year in therapy I am now at the heaviest I've ever been. I have been doing MFP again for about 2 weeks and lost about 7 pounds of water weight the first 5 days but the scale hasn't budged in the last 9 days. I track every morsel and wear my body bugg around the clock. I didn't mean to be defensive regarding the trolls but on occasion I've read some very troll like comments on the boards and I am mean enough to myself, I don't need the trolls adding to my self hatred. I had high hopes for the therapy and really gave it my all but it didn't provide the answers I was seeking. I am hesitant to give it another go with a new therapist as the process of finding someone to trust is so exhaustive. I would like to work with someone that specializes in weight issues but I couldn't find anyone in my area. The therapist I tried working with dealt mostly with addiction...drugs and such and I thought he might help since I am addicted to food, but I didn't make the progress I had hoped to. Anyway, Thanks for the comments without judgements...I had hoped to connect with other yoyo dieters that had eventually met with success.
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