Can't stay on plan... what's wrong?
Kathryn41057
Posts: 181 Member
I have been really struggling lately, and I mean struggling. I am 57 years old, and I need to lose some weight. I don't want to be svelte, i want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process. I have tried different programs over the last couple of months.. WW, Atkins, counting calories. I do pretty good for a couple of days, or a week, and then I get frustrated, and give up... why? Any suggestions? I don't know what to do. I start with thoughts of "Finally Doing this" and then BOOM!!!!!! I fall apart...
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Replies
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What is that tends to get you frustrated? Is it the actual act of counting calories and measuring out your portions? Or do you feel like you have less freedom to eat than before? The answer to what's causing you to fail lies in what triggers the frustration with the plan to begin with.0
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Are you cutting out foods? Do you have a low calorie goal?
Perhaps you need to find a sustainable balance. I like using MFP and counting calories because it's not restrictive. I still eat fast food. I still eat pizza, hamburgers and ice cream, etc. I just eat less of it and/or fit it into my calorie goal. To me, that's sustainable. It's the way I plan to eat for the rest of my life - everything in moderation.0 -
Height, weight, activity level, and calorie goal?0
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daaaaaanielle wrote: »What is that tends to get you frustrated? Is it the actual act of counting calories and measuring out your portions? Or do you feel like you have less freedom to eat than before? The answer to what's causing you to fail lies in what triggers the frustration with the plan to begin with.
this 1000X
ETA: VERY nice 1st post; hope to see more of your sensibility on the forums :
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Probably because you havent prepared properly with a good enough plan or mindset that is realistic, focused in purpose and has you commiting. Too many people rush off into diets and end up back here frustrated because they dont prepare adequately.0
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what makes you frustrated?
If you are totally cutting you your favorite foods, you are destined to fail. If you are using 'programs' like shakes or pills.... you are (probably) destined to fail.
Rethink your relationship with food and your goals, and come up with a plan that works FOR you.
I eat what i want, including a lot of eating out and fast food types. Calorie counting works for me.
Nothing will work until you are ready to make a permanent change.
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Height, weight, activity level, and calorie goal?
Without additional info (at a minimum, weight and height), it's hard to give you good advice. You may not have a realistic calorie goal for your current weight, which will lead to you feeling terrible and not being able to sustain that eating regimen.
Also, within that realistic calorie level, are you fitting in protein and good fats in order to stay satiated?0 -
Yup!Calliope610 wrote: »
this 1000Xdaaaaaanielle wrote: »What is that tends to get you frustrated? Is it the actual act of counting calories and measuring out your portions? Or do you feel like you have less freedom to eat than before? The answer to what's causing you to fail lies in what triggers the frustration with the plan to begin with.
How about... don't go balls to the wall!
Make small changes. Really. Don't change anything at all. Except...set MFP to maintenance and log everything.
Really. Don't change what you eat and do. But record. Accurately (see stickies on how to). For 3-5 weeks.
And also record your weight in one of the smoothing web sites that help you filter out fluctuations caused by transient issues... I know of www.trendweight.com and www.weightgrapher.com
I am almost convinced that when you see where empty, non satiating and not needed for your satisfaction, calories are coming from staring you on your screen... you will know what to do next.
And set aside an hour a day. Or two half hours a day for now. And go for a fast walk. As fast as you **comfortably** can. Still able to chat with someone. Nothing more... for now.
It doesn't have to be much more than that to start.
1lb a month for a year is more than 10lbs a month for one month.0 -
5"9
203 lbs
Lightly Active (I'm on my feet a lot when I'm working)
1680 Calories
I guess I'm not crazy about weighing and measuring everything. I think I get overwhelmed with the thought that this weight is not going to come off overnight. It's going to take some time. I want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process.
I also know that I have to be the one to make the changes and commitments, but I don't know what throws me off this path
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Yup!Calliope610 wrote: »
this 1000Xdaaaaaanielle wrote: »What is that tends to get you frustrated? Is it the actual act of counting calories and measuring out your portions? Or do you feel like you have less freedom to eat than before? The answer to what's causing you to fail lies in what triggers the frustration with the plan to begin with.
How about... don't go balls to the wall!
Make small changes. Really. Don't change anything at all. Except...set MFP to maintenance and log everything.
Really. Don't change what you eat and do. But record. Accurately (see stickies on how to). For 3-5 weeks.
And also record your weight in one of the smoothing web sites that help you filter out fluctuations caused by transient issues... I know of www.trendweight.com and www.weightgrapher.com
I am almost convinced that when you see where empty, non satiating and not needed for your satisfaction, calories are coming from staring you on your screen... you will know what to do next.
And set aside an hour a day. Or two half hours a day for now. And go for a fast walk. As fast as you **comfortably** can. Still able to chat with someone. Nothing more... for now.
It doesn't have to be much more than that to start.
1lb a month for a year is more than 10lbs a month for one month.
great advice!!!
Now that i think about it, I started with small, tiny, baby steps. talking walks, stopped drinking so many sodas (and eventually switched to diet sodas), started logging food (and was shocked at how much i was eating), started reducing calories, started going to the gym with my neighbor, got my own membership when i was tired of being tied to her schedule, etc etc etc All of those things were probably over a 2-3 month period and were gradual changes. And once you start seeing results - whether its in the number on the scale or how your clothes fit, or how you FEEL.... you want to keep going! Just don't get discouraged when things stall for a week or two or three- weight loss is NOT linear!
30+ pounds down (way more to go but ive still done good!
) 0 -
Kathryn41057 wrote: »I have been really struggling lately, and I mean struggling. I am 57 years old, and I need to lose some weight. I don't want to be svelte, i want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process. I have tried different programs over the last couple of months.. WW, Atkins, counting calories. I do pretty good for a couple of days, or a week, and then I get frustrated, and give up... why? Any suggestions? I don't know what to do. I start with thoughts of "Finally Doing this" and then BOOM!!!!!! I fall apart...
Have you set a reasonable weight loss goal?
Handy chart to help set your goal based on how much you want to lose:
More than 75 lbs: 2 lbs/week
40-75 lbs: 1.5 lbs/week
10-40 lbs: 1 lb/week
Less than 10 lbs: 0.5 lb/week
Maybe just eat what you like and fit it in the calories MFP gives you for the amount you say you want to lose. Give yourself a couple of months to learn and make it a habit. You don't have to be perfect every day or every week to lose weight. Just log everything as accurately as you can and move on.
I think that is easier to start out less restrictive and intense than drastically cutting foods from your diet and trying to exercise for hours. You will find many posts on these forums about people still eating the foods they love. As you go, you will learn that some foods will need to be smaller portion sizes and you can eat much more of other foods.
I find pre-logging my whole day really helpful. I do it the night before or in the morning. You might try doing that so you can see how things fit in your day in advance.0 -
Kathryn41057 wrote: »5"9
203 lbs
Lightly Active (I'm on my feet a lot when I'm working)
1680 Calories
I guess I'm not crazy about weighing and measuring everything. I think I get overwhelmed with the thought that this weight is not going to come off overnight. It's going to take some time. I want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process.
I also know that I have to be the one to make the changes and commitments, but I don't know what throws me off this path
Impatience and lack of discipline to stay on path ... possibly resulting from setting unrealistic goals.
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You're way more patient than I am. Some people do better with incremental changes.
Yup!Calliope610 wrote: »
this 1000Xdaaaaaanielle wrote: »What is that tends to get you frustrated? Is it the actual act of counting calories and measuring out your portions? Or do you feel like you have less freedom to eat than before? The answer to what's causing you to fail lies in what triggers the frustration with the plan to begin with.
How about... don't go balls to the wall!
Make small changes. Really. Don't change anything at all. Except...set MFP to maintenance and log everything.
Really. Don't change what you eat and do. But record. Accurately (see stickies on how to). For 3-5 weeks.
And also record your weight in one of the smoothing web sites that help you filter out fluctuations caused by transient issues... I know of www.trendweight.com and www.weightgrapher.com
I am almost convinced that when you see where empty, non satiating and not needed for your satisfaction, calories are coming from staring you on your screen... you will know what to do next.
And set aside an hour a day. Or two half hours a day for now. And go for a fast walk. As fast as you **comfortably** can. Still able to chat with someone. Nothing more... for now.
It doesn't have to be much more than that to start.
1lb a month for a year is more than 10lbs a month for one month.
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Kathryn41057 wrote: »5"9
203 lbs
Lightly Active (I'm on my feet a lot when I'm working)
1680 Calories
I guess I'm not crazy about weighing and measuring everything. I think I get overwhelmed with the thought that this weight is not going to come off overnight. It's going to take some time. I want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process.
I also know that I have to be the one to make the changes and commitments, but I don't know what throws me off this path
Yeah, unfortunately, we live in a world now of instant gratification. And unfortunately, there is no instant gratification in weight loss. It take time and patience. If you can't give it that, then you won't ever be ready to lose weight in a sustainable way.
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1592984904984984089984980 wrote: »Kathryn41057 wrote: »I have been really struggling lately, and I mean struggling. I am 57 years old, and I need to lose some weight. I don't want to be svelte, i want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process. I have tried different programs over the last couple of months.. WW, Atkins, counting calories. I do pretty good for a couple of days, or a week, and then I get frustrated, and give up... why? Any suggestions? I don't know what to do. I start with thoughts of "Finally Doing this" and then BOOM!!!!!! I fall apart...
Yes I have a suggestion. Burn more calories than you eat. Don't eat junk food. Don't drink sodas and calorie intensive juices. Don't try diets, just eat less than you burn.
Yeah... No. Cutting things totally out is what seems to have led to her previous attempts not being as successful as she would like. Besides, people have different idea on what "junk" is. If it fits into my calorie goals- I eat what I want just in moderation. There is no need to cut anything totally out of a "diet" barring any medical issues.0 -
Kathryn41057 wrote: »5"9
203 lbs
Lightly Active (I'm on my feet a lot when I'm working)
1680 Calories
I guess I'm not crazy about weighing and measuring everything. I think I get overwhelmed with the thought that this weight is not going to come off overnight. It's going to take some time. I want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process.
I also know that I have to be the one to make the changes and commitments, but I don't know what throws me off this path
It's natural to feel overwhelmed by it.
I've been dabbling on MFP for months now and I've been triggered to get properly started again by the fact that I weighed myself, logged it on MFP and noticed I'd gained!
To get into the habit of weighing everything, I've been sticking with very simple meals where it only takes me a minute or two to weigh it out. Pasta with some jarred sauce, veg mixed through and maybe a bit of chicken or something like that. All very simple to weigh and log.
If it's cutting out certain things that get you, try avoid cutting them! I really like ice cream and stuff like that but until now, I've always felt bad eating them. Now, if I know I would like a treat of some kind, I just try and have a light breakfast/lunch so that at dinner time I have enough calories left that I can indulge a bit.
The hardest part for me has been seeing the sheer amount of calories in the food that I enjoy most.0 -
Kathryn41057 wrote: »5"9
203 lbs
Lightly Active (I'm on my feet a lot when I'm working)
1680 Calories
I guess I'm not crazy about weighing and measuring everything. I think I get overwhelmed with the thought that this weight is not going to come off overnight. It's going to take some time. I want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process.
I also know that I have to be the one to make the changes and commitments, but I don't know what throws me off this path
When I originally set out on my weight loss journey I stuck to a few basic meals and calculated the calories. Every time I had that meal I didn't have to keep weighing. So many foods now have weight and calorie content on them and that makes life easier.
Don't be too over ambitious and be prepared that things might go wrong along the way. Never give up though.
Add me as a friend if you are looking for support and motivation.
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Holly crap! Good real advice from Mr. Numbers! Wow!1592984904984984089984980 wrote: »Yes I have a suggestion. Burn more calories than you eat. Don't eat junk food. Don't drink sodas and calorie intensive juices. Don't try diets, just eat less than you burn.
(Assuming that cutting all these things out didn't lead to her problems in previous attempts...)
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DeguelloTex wrote: »
You're way more patient than I am. Some people do better with incremental changes.
Yup!Calliope610 wrote: »
this 1000Xdaaaaaanielle wrote: »What is that tends to get you frustrated? Is it the actual act of counting calories and measuring out your portions? Or do you feel like you have less freedom to eat than before? The answer to what's causing you to fail lies in what triggers the frustration with the plan to begin with.
How about... don't go balls to the wall!
Make small changes. Really. Don't change anything at all. Except...set MFP to maintenance and log everything.
Really. Don't change what you eat and do. But record. Accurately (see stickies on how to). For 3-5 weeks.
And also record your weight in one of the smoothing web sites that help you filter out fluctuations caused by transient issues... I know of www.trendweight.com and www.weightgrapher.com
I am almost convinced that when you see where empty, non satiating and not needed for your satisfaction, calories are coming from staring you on your screen... you will know what to do next.
And set aside an hour a day. Or two half hours a day for now. And go for a fast walk. As fast as you **comfortably** can. Still able to chat with someone. Nothing more... for now.
It doesn't have to be much more than that to start.
1lb a month for a year is more than 10lbs a month for one month.
Yes and no. It does depend on why she gives up and gets frustrated. If it is the slow pace of progress that may be something she needs to address because quite often people fail because they can't sustain fast and large changes permanently.0 -
You might try the Fifty, Female, and Fun group--very supportive, good advice.0
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brianpperkins wrote: »Kathryn41057 wrote: »5"9
203 lbs
Lightly Active (I'm on my feet a lot when I'm working)
1680 Calories
I guess I'm not crazy about weighing and measuring everything. I think I get overwhelmed with the thought that this weight is not going to come off overnight. It's going to take some time. I want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process.
I also know that I have to be the one to make the changes and commitments, but I don't know what throws me off this path
Impatience and lack of discipline to stay on path ... possibly resulting from setting unrealistic goals.
This +1 and it sounds like it hasnt been though through in terms of being ready to do what it takes for an extended period of time. Its easier for some than others, its a bit dull and it will take time. You can alter the deal by setting a less aggressive target or doing more exercise to suit. The impatience seems to be undermining you. There are limits to how fast weight loss can happen and they apply to you just as everyone else. One you understand and accept the limits then there will be less reason to get frustrated and you may be more realistic about whats possible and how quickly. Knowledge is your friend.0 -
Kathryn41057 wrote: »5"9
203 lbs
Lightly Active (I'm on my feet a lot when I'm working)
1680 Calories
I guess I'm not crazy about weighing and measuring everything. I think I get overwhelmed with the thought that this weight is not going to come off overnight. It's going to take some time. I want to be healthier, and lose some weight in the process.
I also know that I have to be the one to make the changes and commitments, but I don't know what throws me off this path
Hi, Kathryn. IMO, just getting started is the hardest part, since once you start seeing the progress it is motivating.
One thing I did was set reasonable goals and think about where I'd be in, say, 6 months. You probably know how soon 6 months from now seems to get here, so it was helpful for me to think (for example) "by Halloween I could be X lbs or in dress that I've wanted to fit back into forever. As it's possible it won't go as fast as you want you have to be someone that won't get totally derailed by that, but I found it helped me see longterm goals as really achievable and concrete and to realize that what I do now matters.
Another thing I did was to take charge by focusing on process goals--things that I was 100% in control of, whatever the stupid scale did, and things that would be worth it in themselves independent of the scale. When I started I was scared that the weight wouldn't come off (superstition), so I decided that no matter what I was going to be healthy and fit, even if I was a healthy, fit, fat person, and decided that I was going to eat in a way that made sense to me and was healthy (and tasty) and was going to get myself in good shape through exercise. Of course the weight did come off, but this gave me lots of things to think about besides the scale and to focus on when the scale didn't cooperate a particular week.
Finally, I tried to think of it as a process, not something that was either on or off. The point was to learn and get better at this, so a setback or mistake was a learning experience, not a sign that I was a failure or it wasn't working. Basically, I tried to be kind to myself. Related to that, I tried to have manageable goals each week. For example, when I started I was really out of shape, so I just set a goal to walk a certain amount. After a couple of weeks I set a goal to ride the stationary bike 30 min/3 x a day and go swimming once. Stuff like that. I didn't do things that would be unpleasant and deter me from continuing, and I focused on finding things that would be fun, with the understanding that I probably would find everything more fun as I worked my way into better shape.
For food, it was similar--I had a goal to cook 5 dinners and 3 lunches, say, and a set breakfast. I decided to add veggies to meals, or increase protein. I basically figured out how I was eating and simple steps to make it healthier and lower calorie, and then I started implementing them.
For me, the process itself became really fun, especially when I started losing.
I also kept a journal to keep track of what I was finding worked and what I was struggling with.0 -
Maybe you just don't want it bad enough. I went through most of my life saying I wanted to lose weight so bad. I tried and quit over and over. This time around has been different for me for several reasons. It's not just something I have to do but now something I truly want to do. Before, while I did want to lose weight, I wanted more to continue eating how I was eating. I cared but not enough. Sometimes you have to reach that moment in life where it all just clicks.0
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Willpower is a like a muscle, you have to exercise it for it to get stronger. Every time you give up you're missing an opportunity to exercise your ability to bounce back. Keep at it, one day off the wagon is better than two. Every day is a new day. Get realistic. No sense crying over spilled milk. Yes, it will take a while for it to come off. Nobody can make you stick to it. Take it a day at a time, one meal at a time, you need to ask yourself, does this contribute to my goals?0
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Think we have all been guilty of unrealistic expectations when it comes to 'dieting'. Give up idea of ' dieting'......decide to make changes, as small as you like, that you can live with......and don't eliminate stuff you can't live without; just work on making it work as a balance as time goes on........
Had a bad day? Call your Scarlett O'Hara and move on the next day.......0 -
Just do it. If it's frustrating, do it anyway. If it's slow, do it anyway. If it's tedious, do it anyway. If it's discouraging, do it anyway. Calorie counting is the simplest and least restrictive weight loss "diet" there is. When you give up, it's not a matter of your ability to keep going. It's a choice that you're making. Don't make that choice anymore.0
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You have to have something that drives you...ask yourself, what drives me?? Put a picture up of whatever that maybe and put it on your bathroom mirror so you see it every morning when you start your day so it it keeps you motivated for the day and gets you off to a great start each day!0
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before i joined my gym, when i would walk every day.... i would sometimes have to FORCE myself to go do it. Force the socks and shoes on, force myself out the door. even when i was sick, or in the rain and snow and cold and yuck... if it was over 25f degrees (my personal cut off point)... then i went. even when i didnt want to. because *I* am in charge. not my emotions, my BRAIN is the BOSS. and my brain said ' get moving fatso'. so i did.
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Wow... The advice and pointers are greatly appreciated. You guys are "Right" I do get overwhelmed, and then panic. Maybe I am looking to do everything right, the first time around.
PAV8888 Why should I change my calorie setting to "Maintenance?"0
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