Totally lost motivation and hope

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  • beth050680
    beth050680 Posts: 7
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    here's what my dad has told me time and time again that has helped me before; one simple little phrase: JUST DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING! Forget starting over tomorrow, start over right now! Focus on your next bite of food. I mean literally - the next thing you pop in your mouth. Is it going to be a healthy bite of food? The next time you get a craving for a cig (I've quit too)......whatever you do, do not put one in your mouth! Chew on a piece of sugar free gum instead. whatever your next move is, just make sure that it's the right thing to do towards your goal. It will suck for a while, because it will have to be a conscious effort every stinkin' time. But trust me, it gets a LOT easier the more and more you do it! One liiiitle itty bitty baby step at a time. that's what forms habits :) good luck!!!
  • kleeann3
    kleeann3 Posts: 17
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    forget about yesterday, in the morning you will think today is the day and just take one day at a time doing what YOU KNOW is right =)..i feel the same way as you and this is my first week doing this so just take one day at a time
  • rach_00
    rach_00 Posts: 72
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    Get back into it :) You can do it!
  • sunshinesonata
    sunshinesonata Posts: 241 Member
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    You are never more than 1 meal away from perfect nutrition. :tongue:

    LOVE THIS! I totally agree! Just brush yourself off, and get back on.

    The key is to not be too hard on yourself. =]
  • billmac
    billmac Posts: 51 Member
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    Hi Carly

    The mind is sure a funny thing. I'm in a phase where the whole losing weight thing is currently easy. Yet on many occasions in the recent past I've tried and failed. FWIW I'll outline two things seem to be critical to me. For reasons related to my family I ended up at a psychologist. So he was helpful to us but in the end he said "I want to see you on your own" So i went back. He diagnosed me as severeley/ extremely depressed. The only positive thing I had going was that I had no intention of topping myself. I covered it with extremes of exercise and work. He finally persuaded me that i should take a very low dose anti-depressant just to give myself a break which then allowed us to work on the problems. I would never have thought I was depressed. I guess i'd been that way a long time and didn't know the difference. However a few sessions later the sun came out. I started to feel good; gave up the nightly wine; joined MFP (for the second time) and the weight more or less just falls away.

    The second thing a (sort of) counsellor told me years ago was to do a meditation type exercise and then visualise yourself as you want to be. He had some theory that willpower alone cannot work and cannot overcome the mind. So get your photo of how you are, then visualise the person you want to be. Discard the old image and continually bring up the image you want to be. Eventually you see yourself as the new person and that is who you become.

    One last thing re exercise. I only do what I enjoy. I don't push myself hard. If I want to stop after 1200M swim instead of 2.5K I do. If I feel like stopping after 100M and have a spell I do. I try to make my aim to enjoy every moment and to feel good. Not exhaust myself.
    So no need to go to the gym and work out insanely...just go...or maybe first...just go for an enjoyable walk...do something, anything! It really doesn't matter. Just take a small step forward no matter how small.
    I hope something here helps.
    As I said...all FWIW and hope you find
  • falloner
    falloner Posts: 11
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    My 2c...

    Put the scale away for a month. Nothing in the past got me more depressed than when I couldn't see any change day in day out. I put mine away and bring it out every 3 or 4 days. I might not see a noticeable change day to day, but when I get on that scale and see it read .50 lbs less than it did the last time, I do a little dance and I'm more motivated than ever to keep things moving in that direction.
  • billmac
    billmac Posts: 51 Member
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    Hi Carly...one more thing I did. In the B&F photos threads you can find great photos of what people here have achieved and it shows you what is possible. I got a good one of those and put it on my desktop and look at it every few days.
  • Karabobarra
    Karabobarra Posts: 782 Member
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    What are you're choices?
    You can start over again or you can stay down.
    Where will you be in 6 months if you start over? Where will you be in 6 months if you stay down?

    Just pick one thing to quit at a time... although smoking is probably worse for your health in the long run, if your goal is to lose weight you probably should cut back the drinking first. Once you have that under control and are comfortable I would then try to tackle the smoking, but keep in mind you are also trying to manage your diet, and increase workouts. It's alot to expect out of yourself all at once, it sounds like you set yourself up to fail if you tried to do all these major changes at once. One thing at a time then move onto the next, and get some support! :-) There is tons of it on here!

    Good luck! (now suck it up and get moving!)
  • ldezara
    ldezara Posts: 4
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    Quit beating yourself up over what happened today and remember that everyday is a new beginning. Instead of trying to do it all, set a small goal for yourself (drinking 8 glasses of water tomorrow, or getting more active by taking a nice walk) and achieve it. Small victories will lead to real progress. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to do it all, just take one step at a time.
  • Carly666666
    Carly666666 Posts: 8
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    You are all amazing I never expected this sort of response. I think I'm going to do the photo of how I am now because I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror so might be good to force myself to see it in a photo. The dieting part is hard because of trauma as a kid I can't eat fruit or veg (sounds funny but a certain someone *cough* dad *cough* tried to force it down my throat literally) I can eat potato(worst thing for you), avocado and bananas but anything else has me vomitting. With my food the best I can do is cut out bread and rice but then it doesn't leave me many options. Thank you very much for all the advice I will take it all in my stride and get off my *kitten* and get back into it! And thank you for the friend requests too :smile:
  • bluemax87
    bluemax87 Posts: 71
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    You are all amazing I never expected this sort of response. I think I'm going to do the photo of how I am now because I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror so might be good to force myself to see it in a photo. The dieting part is hard because of trauma as a kid I can't eat fruit or veg (sounds funny but a certain someone *cough* dad *cough* tried to force it down my throat literally) I can eat potato(worst thing for you), avocado and bananas but anything else has me vomitting. With my food the best I can do is cut out bread and rice but then it doesn't leave me many options. Thank you very much for all the advice I will take it all in my stride and get off my *kitten* and get back into it! And thank you for the friend requests too :smile:

    If you don't like raw fruits and veggies, you could always try V8 splash or smoothies (or both mixed). I'll be the first to admit that V8 is nowhere near what real vegetables and fruits is, but it's better than nothing! There are some fruits I don't really care for the texture of and can't really eat them, but blended into a smoothie they're delicious! Potatoes are honestly good for you, so long as you eat them in moderation and the right kind. Potato chips are no bueno! But Baked Potatoes are very good for you, and even better the less you put on them!

    The biggest key to my diet and the one thing I will preach until the day I die is sugar intake! You can get a ton of natural sugar from fruits and fruits alone and STILL go over your daily recommendation. Your body processes Alcohol, processed breads (including most wheat breads) and sugar all the same. Alcohol and breads become Glucose and Sucrose in the body, which the body digests and stores in the same manner as sugars. When your body has a high content of man-made sugars, they turn into lipids in the blood stream. When they get to storage at the fat cells, they form a lipid wall around the fat cells. The lipid wall is nearly impossible for your blood to break through and access the fat for energy. You may be skeptical about the wheat bread statement, but most wheat breads are simply white bread with food coloring to make them look darker, which actually makes them even less healthy than white bread...

    I really hope this helps!
  • Trizi
    Trizi Posts: 8 Member
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    For me, I got mad at it as if it was a person who was mistreating me. That got me going again.

    Be careful to get started again FAST. I didn't and my weight zoomed up again over the months I was ignoring myself.
    Catch it now and declare - I'm going to wrestle with this and WIN !
  • Carly666666
    Carly666666 Posts: 8
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    You are all amazing I never expected this sort of response. I think I'm going to do the photo of how I am now because I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror so might be good to force myself to see it in a photo. The dieting part is hard because of trauma as a kid I can't eat fruit or veg (sounds funny but a certain someone *cough* dad *cough* tried to force it down my throat literally) I can eat potato(worst thing for you), avocado and bananas but anything else has me vomitting. With my food the best I can do is cut out bread and rice but then it doesn't leave me many options. Thank you very much for all the advice I will take it all in my stride and get off my *kitten* and get back into it! And thank you for the friend requests too :smile:

    If you don't like raw fruits and veggies, you could always try V8 splash or smoothies (or both mixed). I'll be the first to admit that V8 is nowhere near what real vegetables and fruits is, but it's better than nothing! There are some fruits I don't really care for the texture of and can't really eat them, but blended into a smoothie they're delicious! Potatoes are honestly good for you, so long as you eat them in moderation and the right kind. Potato chips are no bueno! But Baked Potatoes are very good for you, and even better the less you put on them!

    The biggest key to my diet and the one thing I will preach until the day I die is sugar intake! You can get a ton of natural sugar from fruits and fruits alone and STILL go over your daily recommendation. Your body processes Alcohol, processed breads (including most wheat breads) and sugar all the same. Alcohol and breads become Glucose and Sucrose in the body, which the body digests and stores in the same manner as sugars. When your body has a high content of man-made sugars, they turn into lipids in the blood stream. When they get to storage at the fat cells, they form a lipid wall around the fat cells. The lipid wall is nearly impossible for your blood to break through and access the fat for energy. You may be skeptical about the wheat bread statement, but most wheat breads are simply white bread with food coloring to make them look darker, which actually makes them even less healthy than white bread...

    I really hope this helps!


    Thanks mate, I have tried V8 before and you are right it's better than nothing. I will only bake potato's from now on and put nothing on top! Yeah my sugar intake would be horrific which could explain why I feel like utter crap most of the time. Cheers for the info and tips, if I eat bread I usually go for the wholemeal with all the seeds through it....hopefully not too bad for you :) Thanks again!
  • bluemax87
    bluemax87 Posts: 71
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    You are all amazing I never expected this sort of response. I think I'm going to do the photo of how I am now because I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror so might be good to force myself to see it in a photo. The dieting part is hard because of trauma as a kid I can't eat fruit or veg (sounds funny but a certain someone *cough* dad *cough* tried to force it down my throat literally) I can eat potato(worst thing for you), avocado and bananas but anything else has me vomitting. With my food the best I can do is cut out bread and rice but then it doesn't leave me many options. Thank you very much for all the advice I will take it all in my stride and get off my *kitten* and get back into it! And thank you for the friend requests too :smile:

    If you don't like raw fruits and veggies, you could always try V8 splash or smoothies (or both mixed). I'll be the first to admit that V8 is nowhere near what real vegetables and fruits is, but it's better than nothing! There are some fruits I don't really care for the texture of and can't really eat them, but blended into a smoothie they're delicious! Potatoes are honestly good for you, so long as you eat them in moderation and the right kind. Potato chips are no bueno! But Baked Potatoes are very good for you, and even better the less you put on them!

    The biggest key to my diet and the one thing I will preach until the day I die is sugar intake! You can get a ton of natural sugar from fruits and fruits alone and STILL go over your daily recommendation. Your body processes Alcohol, processed breads (including most wheat breads) and sugar all the same. Alcohol and breads become Glucose and Sucrose in the body, which the body digests and stores in the same manner as sugars. When your body has a high content of man-made sugars, they turn into lipids in the blood stream. When they get to storage at the fat cells, they form a lipid wall around the fat cells. The lipid wall is nearly impossible for your blood to break through and access the fat for energy. You may be skeptical about the wheat bread statement, but most wheat breads are simply white bread with food coloring to make them look darker, which actually makes them even less healthy than white bread...

    I really hope this helps!


    Thanks mate, I have tried V8 before and you are right it's better than nothing. I will only bake potato's from now on and put nothing on top! Yeah my sugar intake would be horrific which could explain why I feel like utter crap most of the time. Cheers for the info and tips, if I eat bread I usually go for the wholemeal with all the seeds through it....hopefully not too bad for you :) Thanks again!

    My wife made baked potatoes the other night that tasted like potato chips. I'll have to get the recipe... Just remember, keep up the motivation, something is better than nothing and a plan is best when you actually follow through with it! lol

    Oh, and regular V8 is disgusting to me. I like V8 splash, specifically the Strawberry Banana flavored kind. I'm a huge fan of smoothies that you can mix in a blender too... I don't know if you've ever done that, but I'd think it's a much more viable alternative to raw fruits and vegetables, and even drinks with sweeteners (sp?) in them!
  • billmac
    billmac Posts: 51 Member
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    Re sugar intake. An Australian bloke by the name of David Gillespie wrote a book called "Sweet Poison" It is certainly worth a read.

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