are you pregnant?

Unless you see a baby emerging from a woman....do not ask her if she's pregnant. After feeling super frustrated today with no weight loss, no change in the way my clothes fit and just feeling fat and bloated, a patient of mine patted my stomach and asked if I was having a baby. After blurting out "no just fat" I walked away with tears in my eyes :'(
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Replies

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,945 Member
    Uggh. It sucks that questions like that upset US, when it is the person who asked it who ought to be embarrased.
  • silviaG07
    silviaG07 Posts: 130 Member
    I'm sorry about this. Yeah, for sure some people ask that. Some of them just ask because they believe it's something good that's going to happen to us. However, when we're not pregnant just with some lbs more it's sad.

    Don't feel sad about this, just continue working out and I'm pretty sure you're going to look fantastic.
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
    edited May 2015
    I don't understand why anyone would ask this unless they were 100% positive that you were having a baby (as in they overheard you talking about it or something). If you're wrong and it's just fat, it's going to be an uncomfortable situation for everyone. I'm sorry you went through that. Don't give up and keep on going! Maybe you also were giving off a particularly radiant glow! :smiley: Good luck on your journey, and please don't let this get you down!
  • Valrotha
    Valrotha Posts: 294 Member
    Sorry that happened to you. Some people just don't think.

    I bet your patient felt pretty badly as well.
  • crazyjerseygirl
    crazyjerseygirl Posts: 1,252 Member
    My grandmother said something like that. "Don't congratulate a pregnancy till it's over". As for me, I'm constantly knitting so I can see the confusion for some folks.
  • IAmTheGlue
    IAmTheGlue Posts: 677 Member
    I was at the park today with my son and there was a young lady that I was talking to with twin toddlers who appeared to be about 6 months along. I did wonder, but I never considered asking if she was having a baby, probably because I'm not a giant inconsiderate idiot. I'm sorry that happened to you. :(
  • MrsAER
    MrsAER Posts: 25 Member
    It's just the worst, I'm sorry but don't be discouraged. I feel a little at risk of being asked this every day x
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,273 Member
    I'm sorry that happened. I had that happen with a coworker. It's a blow and I can't blame you for being upset. As my friend says--People. The worst.
  • KristenMarie1181
    KristenMarie1181 Posts: 216 Member
    I am very glad that I know when a girl is pregnant or not pregnant. It is very easy to tell for me. I asked a lady when she is due and she was like I didn't even tell my co workers yet! How did you know? lol
  • GWehsling
    GWehsling Posts: 120 Member
    Unless you see a baby emerging from a woman - and a doctor is present to confirm it is in fact a baby that is currently being birthed, don't ask, just smile and wave. That's what I was taught and I'm glad I was because there has been more than one occasion that I would have otherwise asked.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,640 Member
    My sister has done that, I think only once, and she assures me it was the last time. I had never thought about it before, but now I know for sure not to ask.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,273 Member
    I can't wrap my head around why anybody would ask this. It is pretty much equal to walking up to a person and saying "you are getting pudgy around the middle" and only rude people would do that.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,067 Member
    People probably shouldn't ask if your pregnant. But also you shouldn't get angry or upset if they do. Don't let it get to you.

    Hear hooves think horses not zebras, where there is smoke there's fire etc cliched saying etc

    If your around the right age, have a large stomach etc is it a terrible assumption that you might be pregnant? People seem to go crazy around babies and pregnant women.

    Now if your a man and someone asked if you pregnant your probably ok to hate them.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Oh I AM so sorry this happened to you!
    No you don't ask...unless meeting ones son's girlfriend for the first time. I did this last week (not because she in anyway looked it)!
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,273 Member
    Believe me, it feels pretty terrible in the moment to have someone ask if you are pregnant due to your fat stomach. I'm trying to come up with a male equivalent...maybe if you were balding and people asked if you were going thru chemo?
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,067 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    maybe if you were balding and people asked if you were going thru chemo?

    *Runs off crying* you monster!

  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,080 Member
    This happened to me. I had a student who kept making comments about me expecting. I was so mortified, I said nothing :).

    It's funny now, because I have had several colleagues who were very obviously pregnant, but I won't say a word unless I know for sure.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,273 Member
    Merkavar wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    maybe if you were balding and people asked if you were going thru chemo?

    *Runs off crying* you monster!

    Lol!
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
    Ugh. People.

    If it were me, I'd just smile sweetly and say "Nope. Just fat." That would make any decent human being feel like an *kitten* and think twice about doing that to anyone ever again.
  • SteveMFP123
    SteveMFP123 Posts: 298 Member
    I looked pregnant when I started, but being a man no one assumed I was expecting, they just assumed I liked cake.