are you pregnant?

AngInCanada
AngInCanada Posts: 947 Member
edited November 17 in Health and Weight Loss
Unless you see a baby emerging from a woman....do not ask her if she's pregnant. After feeling super frustrated today with no weight loss, no change in the way my clothes fit and just feeling fat and bloated, a patient of mine patted my stomach and asked if I was having a baby. After blurting out "no just fat" I walked away with tears in my eyes :'(
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Replies

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,341 Member
    Uggh. It sucks that questions like that upset US, when it is the person who asked it who ought to be embarrased.
  • silviaG07
    silviaG07 Posts: 130 Member
    I'm sorry about this. Yeah, for sure some people ask that. Some of them just ask because they believe it's something good that's going to happen to us. However, when we're not pregnant just with some lbs more it's sad.

    Don't feel sad about this, just continue working out and I'm pretty sure you're going to look fantastic.
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
    edited May 2015
    I don't understand why anyone would ask this unless they were 100% positive that you were having a baby (as in they overheard you talking about it or something). If you're wrong and it's just fat, it's going to be an uncomfortable situation for everyone. I'm sorry you went through that. Don't give up and keep on going! Maybe you also were giving off a particularly radiant glow! :smiley: Good luck on your journey, and please don't let this get you down!
  • Valrotha
    Valrotha Posts: 294 Member
    Sorry that happened to you. Some people just don't think.

    I bet your patient felt pretty badly as well.
  • crazyjerseygirl
    crazyjerseygirl Posts: 1,252 Member
    My grandmother said something like that. "Don't congratulate a pregnancy till it's over". As for me, I'm constantly knitting so I can see the confusion for some folks.
  • IAmTheGlue
    IAmTheGlue Posts: 701 Member
    I was at the park today with my son and there was a young lady that I was talking to with twin toddlers who appeared to be about 6 months along. I did wonder, but I never considered asking if she was having a baby, probably because I'm not a giant inconsiderate idiot. I'm sorry that happened to you. :(
  • MrsAER
    MrsAER Posts: 25 Member
    It's just the worst, I'm sorry but don't be discouraged. I feel a little at risk of being asked this every day x
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I'm sorry that happened. I had that happen with a coworker. It's a blow and I can't blame you for being upset. As my friend says--People. The worst.
  • KristenMarie1181
    KristenMarie1181 Posts: 216 Member
    I am very glad that I know when a girl is pregnant or not pregnant. It is very easy to tell for me. I asked a lady when she is due and she was like I didn't even tell my co workers yet! How did you know? lol
  • GWehsling
    GWehsling Posts: 120 Member
    Unless you see a baby emerging from a woman - and a doctor is present to confirm it is in fact a baby that is currently being birthed, don't ask, just smile and wave. That's what I was taught and I'm glad I was because there has been more than one occasion that I would have otherwise asked.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,647 Member
    My sister has done that, I think only once, and she assures me it was the last time. I had never thought about it before, but now I know for sure not to ask.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I can't wrap my head around why anybody would ask this. It is pretty much equal to walking up to a person and saying "you are getting pudgy around the middle" and only rude people would do that.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
    People probably shouldn't ask if your pregnant. But also you shouldn't get angry or upset if they do. Don't let it get to you.

    Hear hooves think horses not zebras, where there is smoke there's fire etc cliched saying etc

    If your around the right age, have a large stomach etc is it a terrible assumption that you might be pregnant? People seem to go crazy around babies and pregnant women.

    Now if your a man and someone asked if you pregnant your probably ok to hate them.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Oh I AM so sorry this happened to you!
    No you don't ask...unless meeting ones son's girlfriend for the first time. I did this last week (not because she in anyway looked it)!
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Believe me, it feels pretty terrible in the moment to have someone ask if you are pregnant due to your fat stomach. I'm trying to come up with a male equivalent...maybe if you were balding and people asked if you were going thru chemo?
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    maybe if you were balding and people asked if you were going thru chemo?

    *Runs off crying* you monster!

  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,081 Member
    This happened to me. I had a student who kept making comments about me expecting. I was so mortified, I said nothing :).

    It's funny now, because I have had several colleagues who were very obviously pregnant, but I won't say a word unless I know for sure.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Merkavar wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    maybe if you were balding and people asked if you were going thru chemo?

    *Runs off crying* you monster!

    Lol!
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
    Ugh. People.

    If it were me, I'd just smile sweetly and say "Nope. Just fat." That would make any decent human being feel like an *kitten* and think twice about doing that to anyone ever again.
  • SteveMFP123
    SteveMFP123 Posts: 298 Member
    I looked pregnant when I started, but being a man no one assumed I was expecting, they just assumed I liked cake.
  • Sophiareed218
    Sophiareed218 Posts: 145 Member
    Oh I'm sorry! Try not to get too upset, I'm sure that woman didn't mean to cause any harm.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    march-2013-timetoaskifpregnant.jpg

    I've never been asked if I was pregnant, not even when I was pregnant. I do have a good one to say if I'm ever asked. "It's a stone baby."
  • Ajaxlost
    Ajaxlost Posts: 46 Member
    edited May 2015
    I had 2 people ask me in one day if I was having any more kids. I was wondering if they actually thought I was pregnant but wanted to ask in a covert way. And I actually had someone ask if I was pregnant when I rubbed my upset belly a little bit. It was not fun for either of us.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    PeachyPlum wrote: »
    Ugh. People.

    If it were me, I'd just smile sweetly and say "Nope. Just fat." That would make any decent human being feel like an *kitten* and think twice about doing that to anyone ever again.

    That is what I said to my coworker. Her reply was "Well maybe if you lost weight you could get pregnant." So I tore her wig off and smacked her across the face with it. No I didn't, since I don't live in a telenovela. But I wanted to.
  • bendyourkneekatie
    bendyourkneekatie Posts: 696 Member
    I've only ever experienced this when pregnant, but even then, I don't like anyone commenting on the state of my body unprompted thankyouverymuch. I know some people may mean well, but it's far too personal an enquiry/comment from anyone who's not already close enough to know.

    so sorry OP that people are so stupid and rude sometimes...
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
    Years ago, I was waiting for my sister to pick up her kids and a guy came up to me and asked if I would be able handle the new addition.

    Sucks to hear about your situation OP.
  • mommyofjan
    mommyofjan Posts: 65 Member
    I've also had this happen. My reply... No I'm not pregnant. It's baby fat. My baby is 22 o:):p
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,097 Member
    KristenMarie1181 wrote: »
    I am very glad that I know when a girl is pregnant or not pregnant. It is very easy to tell for me. I asked a lady when she is due and she was like I didn't even tell my co workers yet! How did you know? lol

    It's nice to have a magic power like that, but it still doesn't make other people's personal information any of your business. (Hint: If it had been any of your business, she would have told you.) Yes, even if you're right, it can still be offensive, as Katem999 pointed out:
    I've only ever experienced this when pregnant, but even then, I don't like anyone commenting on the state of my body unprompted thankyouverymuch. I know some people may mean well, but it's far too personal an enquiry/comment from anyone who's not already close enough to know.


    A few decades ago, in my late teens when I was not overweight I arrived at a hospital wearing a heavy padded coat in the middle of the night, accompanied by a young man, entering through the emergency room entrance because it was the only door open in the middle of the night. As we rushed in, the admitting desk nurse said something like "have a happy baby." At the time, I was too upset about the fact that my father was dying or dead in post-op and that she was telling me to be happy to be able to experience the mortification from the assumption that I was pregnant and that she thought my brother who was rushing me to our dying father's bedside was the father of this imaginary baby... I told the nurse why we were there, and she looked embarrassed. Hopefully she never made that assumption again.

  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
    This is the 2nd time I've seen something like this today. My step sister had the same thing happen to her. She's not fat at all but had twins 8 years ago and has a pouch. She's getting healthy and working out and it just ruined her day. I don't get why someone would ask that...or assume that. It's so incredibly rude!!
  • PinkyKiwii
    PinkyKiwii Posts: 512 Member
    Ugh, I've had that happen to me too on several occasions. Like others have mentioned, I don't get why anyone in their right mind would even ask if they weren't 100% sure. Don't let it get to you! 85pp90u0y3ua.png
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