Struggling to get back on track after so much that's happened in my life.

LisaR1098
LisaR1098 Posts: 1 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
Hi my names Lisa. I'm now 40 years old. My heaviest was 327 lbs. I had managed to loose quite a bit of weightin less than 2 years. I had gotten down to 165 lbs. It was difficult to get lower then this due to excess skin. Dr's told me my skin was probably a good 40 lbs. 2013 my 14 year old daughter passed away. I was so devastated so depressed. Things started going under. I gained weight. I had gotten up to 190. A year on the anniversary of her passing I found out I was pregnant. We had tried for 4 years prior but I was told I had excessive scar tissue that was preventing this to happen. Well we felt this was a miracle. I had complications. My baby delivered 5 1/2 months premature due to pprom. He live just over an hour and passed. Again I was lost. So heart broken. I gained I was at 220 lbs after his birth. The Dr's said we could try again after my first cycle we did. 3 months later I was pregnant. We kept it hushed because of what happened last time. Our baby stopped developing and we miscarriaged. We decided to stop trying. It has been such a long road of hurt and disappointment that to loose another would be unbearable. I am now at 232 lbs. I need to do this for me. I need to feel good about something. I need to feel like I've accomplished something. To feel good about myself. Because right now. It's just not there

Replies

  • wernerlisa68
    wernerlisa68 Posts: 1 Member
    Such an amazing story. You have overcome so much sadness and loss I hope you can keep going and start to feel good again. Good luck on your journey! You can accomplish anything you set your mind on.
  • slp51
    slp51 Posts: 201 Member
    Incredible! I'm so sorry you've been forced to deal with three losses. I never had children but cherish my nieces, nephews and grand nieces and grand nephews. I cannot bear the thought of losing any of them.

    So to me it seems that your weight is tied to your emotions. Have you / do you see a therapist? I believe your first order of business is to naturally grieve for your losses, but with the help of a professional (and I'm not one). Once you learn how to manage your grief, you may find yourself wanting to pick up the pace on getting healthy.

    Please, take care of yourself.
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,275 Member
    I suppose the only thing to say to so much loss, is that one of my favorite quotes, "Pain is inevitable, misery is optional.". Bad things happen. Resilience is how you bounce back and re focus your life on yourself rather than the past. You can not control the past, only the future. You decide how your future looks.
  • D_squareG
    D_squareG Posts: 361 Member
    It is time to focus on healing yourself. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. Understand that you've been damaged and start today to repair yourself. Big hug to you.
  • glow19
    glow19 Posts: 27 Member
    @LisaR1098
    God bless you. You have suffered so very much. But God has not forgotten you. Now is your time as long as you have breath you can still achieve everything your hearts desires. There is a saying "when the student is ready the teacher will apear".. My dear you sound ready.. friend me if you like I would be glad to encourage &support you. You can do this!!!!
  • twcreek
    twcreek Posts: 1 Member
    This is such a sad story, but I admire your courage to share and reach out to the community. I'm undergoing similar situations in that I'm backsliding due to traumatic events of late. My older brother committed suicide in January - he texted me to come to the house where I found him after it was too late. He was living with and caring for my 89 year old father, as well as caring for both my parents' finances (my mom is 83 and in a nursing home). I've been trying to deal with mountains of red tape ever since, in addition to the emotional pain and grief. I'm no longer exercising and also compounding the problem by not eating clean. Being depressed and busy is a bad combination when it comes to trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

    Today starts a new month and I'm hoping to start the downward trending of my weight and increasing my activity level. I wish you success in your journey as well.
  • mistikal13
    mistikal13 Posts: 1,457 Member
    Wow, you have been though alot! Big hugs to you on your future journey to heal yourself/get healthy.
  • Summer_2016
    Summer_2016 Posts: 10 Member
    That is a painful journey. It's good to know that you haven't given up. The good feelings will come back. I'm cheering you on and all those that need encouragement. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I nearly lost the following one, but pulled through. Prayer and support was quite helpful. You are an inspiration knowing what you've already made it through. Be encouraged.
  • Denkko
    Denkko Posts: 28 Member
    I am so sorry for all you have suffered. We don't always understand God's plan. Please don't ever give up. I know you'll persevere. I see determination -- maybe even a little defiance -- in your eyes in thr pic you posted. The healing starts now.
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