Suffering with a bad case of body dysmorphic disorder

Maqneta
Maqneta Posts: 388 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
hello everyone,

my name is Jordan and I am 19 years old It took me 8-10months to lose up to 100 pounds.
this was me before

(13 years old, weighed up to 190 pounds)
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18 years old.
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1 month ago. (155 LB)
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my case of Body Dysmorphic disorder started at around 170 pounds
I refuse to let people photograph me, and getting me to be video taped is ....nearly impossible and only without my consent.

I just got my first picture ID and I refuse to look at it.

someone took a photograph of me yesterday when I was out with friends and for some reason it triggered a pretty horrible flash of anxiety.
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I now reside at 155-160 LB and it fluctuates, the lowest I have been is 140 and still wanted to lose another 20 LB.
my question is; does anyone else on this site have something like this, and did it start when you lost your weight because that is what happened to me?
do you see someone chubby in these photos?



Replies

  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
    I love how you look. You're adorable looking!

    I also have BDD. Last week I hit my goal weight and I seem to be really struggling with it now too.
  • Maqneta
    Maqneta Posts: 388 Member
    edited May 2015
    My_Butt wrote: »
    I love how you look. You're adorable looking!

    I also have BDD. Last week I hit my goal weight and I seem to be really struggling with it now too.

    It sucks because the person I see in the mirror is not the person I see in photos, I find myself looking chubby when I'm not actually.

  • North44
    North44 Posts: 359 Member
    I feel the same way you do. I look in the mirror and I think I look fine. I see myself in a photo and I see a completely different thing- I mean I recognize myself- but I look much bigger- I really hate the way my face looks especially. I only have a few pics of myself as an adult that I like. I've always felt this way and I've never been very overweight even. I just chalk it up to my bone structure not being very photogenic. I have a great life so it's not such a big deal to me overall but I do get where you're coming from.

    As for your pics- you look great to me!
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
    I saw a documentary with people struggling to overcome BDD, and therapists showed pictures of the people without their heads to see if they recognized their own bodies. Almost all of them didn't recognize themselves.
  • Hollywood_Porky
    Hollywood_Porky Posts: 491 Member
    Yeah man you look great! First off, you lost a lot of weight and at the end you look healthy not gaunt. I can't speak to BDD - but you should feel good about the weight loss. Here's hoping the peeps above and more can help you. Rooting for you!
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