Feeling self conscious in the weight room

thewanderer2015
thewanderer2015 Posts: 3 Member
edited November 17 in Fitness and Exercise
Any suggestions on how to overcome this? :(

Replies

  • annekka
    annekka Posts: 517 Member
    Just do it. Get in there, ask for help or a spot if you need to. Most will ignore you. I was in my complex gym yesterday and there were 5 young guys there in a small space. I just did my stuff and focused on me.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    is there a small "women's room" off somewhere, or just a workout area away from the weights that does have dumbbells? if so, practice some dumbbell exercises there, like goblet squats and 1 legged RDLs, so you get strong and used to what those movements basically feel like. then, when you kind of know what you're doing, it won't be such a huge leap when you want to use the big bar.

    also wear looser, nondescript tops, like a baggy t shirt, and yoga pants, if you're worried about drawing the kind of attention that might add to self consciousness.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    You'll just have to suck it up, like every other person in the world who just started lifting.

    Go in with a plan and execute it. Best case, get a knowledgeable friend to take you the first time?
  • bunsen_honeydew
    bunsen_honeydew Posts: 230 Member
    Resource for dumbells http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/zc0uy/a_beginner_dumbbell_program_the_dumbbell_stopgap
  • Cherimoose
    Cherimoose Posts: 5,208 Member
    thewanderer2015 wrote: »
    Any suggestions on how to overcome this? :(

    Follow a good plan, and be so engrossed in doing it correctly that you don't care about others, most of whom are too focused on themselves to care about you.

    Which program are you following?
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    thewanderer2015 wrote: »
    Any suggestions on how to overcome this? :(

    Have you already started or are looking for a way to start?
    First make sure you have some plan in mind. If you have no idea where to begin, either choose a gym where the personnel can help with the basics, or find a personal trainer for a few sessions to help with basic routines, form etc, or ask a friend to help. Knowing what you are doing can make a big difference in how confident you are and in how successful you are.
    Also figure out what is making you uncomfortable. Is it only not knowing what to do? Is it something about the gym? Are you the only woman there, are you uncomfortable being among men, are the people there older or younger than you, is the gym too crowded? Some things can simply change by picking a different gym, or by changing the hours when you visit. Not all places have the same atmosphere and not all hours are the same. A weight room with e.g. 4 guys working on there own focused on their routine, or a room with a mix of men and women have a very different feel than a room where a group of guys are spending endless hours telling jokes, checking their abs in the mirror and checking out women passing by.
  • santawiggles
    santawiggles Posts: 14 Member
    I go first thing in the am. That way you don't have to worry about being intimidated and you have plenty of room! Plus all the machines/weights are free!
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    Just keep going. I'm usually the only woman in the weight room. If I notice someone watching me...I'll stare at them until they stop.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    *shrug* I just walk in like I own the place.
  • BodyByBex
    BodyByBex Posts: 3,685 Member
    lisalsd1 wrote: »
    Just keep going. I'm usually the only woman in the weight room. If I notice someone watching me...I'll stare at them until they stop.
    cvp7e0wa7ldp.jpg
    My first thought.....
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    thewanderer2015 wrote: »
    Any suggestions on how to overcome this? :(

    First, realize this is just like anything else where there are other people, riding on a bus, getting in an elevator, or grocery shopping. Everybody is there for themselves and not really bothered with you. When I’m lifting, I’m vaguely aware there are other people in the room, but unless they’re doing something dangerous (to me or them), I’m in my own mind, focused on my task.

    But, I know that takes time for most newbies. So, here are a few tips:
    1) Go into the gym with a plan. If it is a dumbbell workout, get warmed up and get busy. The more you stay active, the less time you’ll have to worry with others.
    2) Consider going with a friend or hire a trainer. The interaction will definitely distract you from others.
    3) If you don’t have a training partner or trainer, wear headphones with music that motivates you. Yes, a bit of dancing between sets is allowed.
    4) If you’re uncomfortable with your form on a particular exercise, ask one of the more experienced trainees or an employee of the gym to watch and give advice. Once you make a few friends (most of us get on a schedule and you’ll see the same people in the gym if you’re consistent).
    5) Develop a routine for things you do between sets. I will pace and/or go get some water between sets and thoroughly shake out the muscles I just worked (I have 2 - 3 minute rests, so there is plenty of time to kill).
    6) Above all, enjoy yourself. Working out becomes fun once you learn the movements and start seeing improvement. If you’re focused on beating a personal max, you’ll forget there are other people around.
  • Ms_LisaKay
    Ms_LisaKay Posts: 103 Member
    santawiggles wrote: »
    I go first thing in the am. That way you don't have to worry about being intimidated and you have plenty of room! Plus all the machines/weights are free!

    I go rather later in the evening & enjoy many of the same benefits. Early or late are nice. (If you have sleep issues, I do not recommend late, though.) There are a few more lifters around in the evening than early am @ my gym, but they have paid no attention to me for months and I suspect they will keep doing so. Don't be intimidated! :) I got some training sessions & concentrate on form, form, form. That way, I feel like I know what I am doing and if anyone is looking at me, all they are seeing is a fat woman lifting with awesome form, so they better NOT judge me. ;) Plus I am less likely to hurt myself. I figure the weight & strength will come along, but I am not expecting amazing things while in caloric deficit. Still, sometimes I surprise myself. I can lift the olympic bar for almost every lift I do now, and I started out with dumbbells & lower-weight fixed barbells.

    Secretly, I kinda want to be one of the intimidating ones in a year. ;) I also want to be like this gal there I have seen early in the mornings - she has to be 60 if she is a day, and she LIFTS. She lifts pretty darn big. It would be awesome to be her at that age.
  • ovidnine
    ovidnine Posts: 314 Member
    Just lift. Ok, one addendum others have said I whole-heartedly agree with: Just lift, with a plan.
    Know what you are going to do every day you go lift.

    I still feel self-conscious while lifting. Less than I did when I started, but its just in my makeup to feel that way pretty much all the time.

    I just go lift and honestly the program I'm on has helped a lot. My last 5 sets of whatever my main lift that day is are at 50% of my 1 rep max. So, on my bench day I'm there doing 5x10 of 100lbs. (And for my weight as a guy, a 200lb max isn't impressive anyway) It does not look "good" at all, but screw it, its helping me get stronger.

    There are a couple of pretty big guys who always seem to come in when I'm at the end of my workout. I used to get internally anxious about it and I'd be all worried "WTF must they be thinking?" Then I realized they didn't just get that way overnight and why should I care what they think, I'm not lifting for them, I'm lifting for me. Now I just turn it into a mental laugh. I still sometimes think "WTF must they be thinking?" but its got a joking tone in my mind. Yes, my thoughts have tones, its not as crazy as it sounds.

    So, its easier said than done, and like me, you might not conquer it completely, but just get in there and lift.
  • kikichewie
    kikichewie Posts: 276 Member
    Lots of great information and advice so far. All I can say is that if you keep going, it will get easier. If you make eye contact with someone, a smile is nice. Many people are more than willing to answer a quick question too. I just started two months ago, and now I have no problem asking people questions or for help. I scoped them out first, watching to see who was friendly and outgoing, and who was doing routines similar to mine, etc. Everybody is there to improve themselves, so you have at least one thing in common, even with the young buff guys or big bad biker dudes.
  • HamsterManV2
    HamsterManV2 Posts: 449 Member
    As a guy, I'm always happy when I see a lady in the weight room. I don't stare or say anything, but in my head I say "good job! keep kicking *kitten* in the weight room!". I find that women who frequent the weight room have amazing results in the long run.

    Also I'm too busy focusing on my form, pushing the weights, or staring at my phone/the clock between sets.

    Do your best, forget the rest
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Generally, if you know what you are doing, you should feel better in there. If you have a friend who is knowledgeable about lifting, ask him/her to give you a few lessons. If you don't have somebody like that, consider hiring a trainer for a session or two.

    My gym has a 3 session package that I bought last summer so that I could have somebody demonstrate proper form for me. Besides learning proper form, I found it valuable just because it got me into the weight room with another person so that I felt comfortable looking around to see where the different equipment was and what it was. I know that when I go someplace new I am hesitant to look around a lot because I don't want people to think I am starting at them. Having my trainer there kind of made me loosen up a bit and not act like a nervous nelly.
  • andrikosDE
    andrikosDE Posts: 383 Member
    thewanderer2015 wrote: »
    Any suggestions on how to overcome this? :(


    “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”


    ― Eleanor Roosevelt
  • cfp1981
    cfp1981 Posts: 29 Member
    HamsterManV2 wrote: »
    As a guy, I'm always happy when I see a lady in the weight room. I don't stare or say anything, but in my head I say "good job! keep kicking *kitten* in the weight room!". I find that women who frequent the weight room have amazing results in the long run.

    Also I'm too busy focusing on my form, pushing the weights, or staring at my phone/the clock between sets.

    Do your best, forget the rest


    Pretty much the same here.
  • Azexas
    Azexas Posts: 4,334 Member
    Don't be afraid to ask staff questions.
    go in with a set of things you want to accomplish in that gym session.
    Go at a non-peak time- there will be less people.
    Headphones- tune out the rest

  • VegasFit
    VegasFit Posts: 1,232 Member
    edited May 2015
    I really don't think other people are paying attention to what I am doing. I know I am not paying attention to others. I just put on my earphones, reference my workout log and do what I need to do. But I do agree it can be a little intimidating at first, at least to me, especially when I am traveling and using an unfamiliar gym and a lot of that has to do with just getting familiar with the weight area.
  • williamwj2014
    williamwj2014 Posts: 750 Member
    ahh I remember when I use to be self conscious starting out. You could always get a friend to show you some basic workouts or just watch youtube for tips. Don't be ashamed if you have to look at the instructions on a machine, that's what they're there for! Honestly, nobody really cares what you do as everyone is there for themselves and not to judge you. Work yourself into weight training and you'll look back at this post and go "damn, what was I so afraid of?"
  • jediguitarist
    jediguitarist Posts: 73 Member
    randomtai wrote: »
    *shrug* I just walk in like I own the place.

    This!

    I was initially intimidated by the amount of weight people were lifting. I could barely lift the bar. Now, I do what I need to do. There's always people that can out lift you and look better doing it.

    Having said that, I found there are people that are willing to help others out. A simple "what does that exercise do?' will almost always relax both parties and help you gain important lifting advice. More or less. Lol
  • IsaackGMOON
    IsaackGMOON Posts: 3,358 Member
    I had the same sort of mind set OP, was scared to walk in there and do my thing.

    Get an MP3 player or something, some ear buds and just walk in with a clear plan of what you're doing.

    Once you start going regularly you'll probably start getting "wassups" from people...
  • livinmydreamsthruJesus
    livinmydreamsthruJesus Posts: 38 Member
    edited May 2015
    Be confident with yourself, knowing THEY had to start in the gym too. They didn't wake up one day strong and slim. Don't worry. Most the time, people don't care, they care about themselves and how they are working out. <3:)
  • kpodaru
    kpodaru Posts: 133 Member
    no one is judging you! just get in there and do your thing. just research and plan your workout. if you want to work on arms and shoulders, plan out what lifting exercises you're going to do (youtube if need be to see proper form) and then get in there and do it!
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    randomtai wrote: »
    *shrug* I just walk in like I own the place.

    This is what i do. If you don't have real confidence, fake it till you make it. I put my headphones in and walk in with razorsharp focus and resting *kitten* face.
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