Weight loss - a rant
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snflwr04
Posts: 46
Weight loss is not easy! I don't care what anyone says about it or how you chose to loose it, the fact of the matter is that it is not an easy task. Yeah, I did it. Yeah, I've lost almost 90 pounds. Yeah, I did it without surgery or diet pills. But, all that still doesn't make keeping it off any easier.
I have tracked every calorie that I hate ate/drank for the past year. I have studied food nutrition and fitness on my own for the past 5 years. When I go grocery shopping, I don't shop for the cheapest item, I shop for the most healthful. If I pick up a new item the first thing I do is read the nutrition label. If I eat something and I am unsure of it's calories - bet your *kitten* the first thing I do when i get home is google it. Nothing frustrates me more then when people tell me to allow myself something sweet every day to prevent binging. Yeah, I do that. To me, it's a commen sense thing. There is nothing that you can't tell me about the "tricks of the trade" when it come to dieting that I don't already know. Just because I didn't attend a Weight Watchers meetings doesn't mean I haven't educated myself on health/fitness.
But all the knowledge in the world doesn't stop the mental issues a person has with food or their body. When I look in the mirror, I do not see the thin skinny girl everyone says I am. I see the old stretch marks and the excess skin which makes me look at myself as though I've only lost 10 lbs. I still see the fat Cassie. I have so much excess skin that I can honestly pull my my lower abdomen up so far that with the top portion of my stomach - it looks like it's smiling back at me. When I bindge on sugar, I feel the guilt afterwords. I feel what it physically does to my body also. Food is still an addiciton to me. When I'm stressed or bored, it's my go to thing. To help control it, I don't carry cash on me because I know that I will put it in the vending machine at work and I have found ways to turn plain yogurt into pumpkin pie. When dining out, I hate that I have to struggle with some people to go to a restruant that has healthfull option. It is not ok for anyone to sabatoge another person's lifestyle. All I ask for is your respect, I don't expect you to live like me.
Though it is a struggle, there are many motivations! My sister for example. She kept me running/training for my 5K simply by meeting me at the track and walking. Watching her start her journey is inspriing for me to continue on mine. I love when people ask me health/fitness questions and I can give them an honest educated response.
I am posting this so that you will know that though I make it look easy, IT IS NOT! I struggle every day with my lifestyle. It's hard to motivate myself to workout. The first thing I do when i get home is change clothes and hop on the treadmill, pop in a video or take Kota for a walk. If I wait even 30 minutes to work out - I will talk myself out of it. Guaranteed! This healthy lifestyle does not come naturally for me, it is a battle everyday. I don't care if anyone responds to this or even what you respond. The fact of the matter is, no one can take my weight loss journey and the struggles I still face away from me. I own my story and I am very proud to have lost 90 pounds on my own!
I have tracked every calorie that I hate ate/drank for the past year. I have studied food nutrition and fitness on my own for the past 5 years. When I go grocery shopping, I don't shop for the cheapest item, I shop for the most healthful. If I pick up a new item the first thing I do is read the nutrition label. If I eat something and I am unsure of it's calories - bet your *kitten* the first thing I do when i get home is google it. Nothing frustrates me more then when people tell me to allow myself something sweet every day to prevent binging. Yeah, I do that. To me, it's a commen sense thing. There is nothing that you can't tell me about the "tricks of the trade" when it come to dieting that I don't already know. Just because I didn't attend a Weight Watchers meetings doesn't mean I haven't educated myself on health/fitness.
But all the knowledge in the world doesn't stop the mental issues a person has with food or their body. When I look in the mirror, I do not see the thin skinny girl everyone says I am. I see the old stretch marks and the excess skin which makes me look at myself as though I've only lost 10 lbs. I still see the fat Cassie. I have so much excess skin that I can honestly pull my my lower abdomen up so far that with the top portion of my stomach - it looks like it's smiling back at me. When I bindge on sugar, I feel the guilt afterwords. I feel what it physically does to my body also. Food is still an addiciton to me. When I'm stressed or bored, it's my go to thing. To help control it, I don't carry cash on me because I know that I will put it in the vending machine at work and I have found ways to turn plain yogurt into pumpkin pie. When dining out, I hate that I have to struggle with some people to go to a restruant that has healthfull option. It is not ok for anyone to sabatoge another person's lifestyle. All I ask for is your respect, I don't expect you to live like me.
Though it is a struggle, there are many motivations! My sister for example. She kept me running/training for my 5K simply by meeting me at the track and walking. Watching her start her journey is inspriing for me to continue on mine. I love when people ask me health/fitness questions and I can give them an honest educated response.
I am posting this so that you will know that though I make it look easy, IT IS NOT! I struggle every day with my lifestyle. It's hard to motivate myself to workout. The first thing I do when i get home is change clothes and hop on the treadmill, pop in a video or take Kota for a walk. If I wait even 30 minutes to work out - I will talk myself out of it. Guaranteed! This healthy lifestyle does not come naturally for me, it is a battle everyday. I don't care if anyone responds to this or even what you respond. The fact of the matter is, no one can take my weight loss journey and the struggles I still face away from me. I own my story and I am very proud to have lost 90 pounds on my own!
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Replies
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Weight loss is not easy! I don't care what anyone says about it or how you chose to loose it, the fact of the matter is that it is not an easy task. Yeah, I did it. Yeah, I've lost almost 90 pounds. Yeah, I did it without surgery or diet pills. But, all that still doesn't make keeping it off any easier.
I have tracked every calorie that I hate ate/drank for the past year. I have studied food nutrition and fitness on my own for the past 5 years. When I go grocery shopping, I don't shop for the cheapest item, I shop for the most healthful. If I pick up a new item the first thing I do is read the nutrition label. If I eat something and I am unsure of it's calories - bet your *kitten* the first thing I do when i get home is google it. Nothing frustrates me more then when people tell me to allow myself something sweet every day to prevent binging. Yeah, I do that. To me, it's a commen sense thing. There is nothing that you can't tell me about the "tricks of the trade" when it come to dieting that I don't already know. Just because I didn't attend a Weight Watchers meetings doesn't mean I haven't educated myself on health/fitness.
But all the knowledge in the world doesn't stop the mental issues a person has with food or their body. When I look in the mirror, I do not see the thin skinny girl everyone says I am. I see the old stretch marks and the excess skin which makes me look at myself as though I've only lost 10 lbs. I still see the fat Cassie. I have so much excess skin that I can honestly pull my my lower abdomen up so far that with the top portion of my stomach - it looks like it's smiling back at me. When I bindge on sugar, I feel the guilt afterwords. I feel what it physically does to my body also. Food is still an addiciton to me. When I'm stressed or bored, it's my go to thing. To help control it, I don't carry cash on me because I know that I will put it in the vending machine at work and I have found ways to turn plain yogurt into pumpkin pie. When dining out, I hate that I have to struggle with some people to go to a restruant that has healthfull option. It is not ok for anyone to sabatoge another person's lifestyle. All I ask for is your respect, I don't expect you to live like me.
Though it is a struggle, there are many motivations! My sister for example. She kept me running/training for my 5K simply by meeting me at the track and walking. Watching her start her journey is inspriing for me to continue on mine. I love when people ask me health/fitness questions and I can give them an honest educated response.
I am posting this so that you will know that though I make it look easy, IT IS NOT! I struggle every day with my lifestyle. It's hard to motivate myself to workout. The first thing I do when i get home is change clothes and hop on the treadmill, pop in a video or take Kota for a walk. If I wait even 30 minutes to work out - I will talk myself out of it. Guaranteed! This healthy lifestyle does not come naturally for me, it is a battle everyday. I don't care if anyone responds to this or even what you respond. The fact of the matter is, no one can take my weight loss journey and the struggles I still face away from me. I own my story and I am very proud to have lost 90 pounds on my own!
Very well said! I congratulate you - you have done an amazing job and you're an inspiration to us all.
GOOD FOT YOU!0 -
Well said. Food is stil an addiction for me too and I don't know that I'll ever beat it. I still feel like I am one slip up away from losing my edge and letting it all go. I want to be one of the people for whom food has no importance but I don't know how to get there. And don't even get me started on the excess skin - I see it as my punishment for the years of laziness and gluttony - so discouraging.0
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Go you! And bravo for admitting that actually, for some people it's a constant struggle, even when at goal.
I think it's too easy to look at someone's success story and photos, and assume that it was all plain sailing, based only on the fact that they achieved their goal, and didn't go into detail of how difficult it might have been. I suspect that this can lead to false expectations and feelings of failure for some people when they see other people 'just doing it'. But when you read things like your post, it's inspiring and gives hope to so many.
I think you will be a huge inspiration for so many people - keep up the great work, you seem to be pretty amazing! :flowerforyou:0 -
AMEN sister! The entire journey is not easy, but I hear maintenance is the worst! Most people don't know that (me included) because we never make it to goal. Everybody is different and they have to find what works for them. MFP has been a tremendous help for me since I was stuck on a plateau and I was anti-calorie-counting. It is basically a math game- calories in vs. calories out. Keep your chin up and keep plodding on! We're right beside you!0
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Well said. Food is stil an addiction for me too and I don't know that I'll ever beat it. I still feel like I am one slip up away from losing my edge and letting it all go. I want to be one of the people for whom food has no importance but I don't know how to get there. And don't even get me started on the excess skin - I see it as my punishment for the years of laziness and gluttony - so discouraging.
Couldn't have said this better myself!0 -
very well said0
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just like drugs or smoking or drinking, you never will loose the want completely. good luck0
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just like drugs or smoking or drinking, you never will loose the want completely. good luck
I disagree about smoking! I quit in 1997 and just the thought of smoking makes me feel ill! I can't bear to smell cigarette smoke, or smell it on people who have been smoking. There is absolutely no want here whatsoever! :bigsmile:0 -
You have so much to be proud of - 90 pounds! Loved your post, very honest.0
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I feel ya girl, some people think it's so easy to just eat less. There's more to it that that and people that don't have our issues will never understand.
I work 10 hours 5 days a week and I make myself go in the house change and workout, people have no idea how hard that is, yes most of them can go home and plop down on the couch or eat dinner right away, no not us.
BTW 90#'s terrific!!!!!!!
I also have lost as of today 75#'s on my own no meetings or anything, just doing what i know I need to do.
Good luck on the rest of your journey.0 -
I so agree with you, I lost over 75 lbs over 5 years ago and managed to maintain that until about 6 months ago when suddenly I started eating and eating and now I have gained back 20 lbs of that 75 lost. I don't know why but you have said so well what I was feeling. You get so frustrated. But, here I am here starting this week to try and get this 20 lbs off and to lose the other 20 that I never did manage to lose when I had lost the original 75. But, you are so right, it is a lifetime battle. I have seen people go through it and give up and I do not want to be one of them. I want to succeed. For me!! For no one else, but for me. I deserve it!!0
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I so agree with you, I lost over 75 lbs over 5 years ago and managed to maintain that until about 6 months ago when suddenly I started eating and eating and now I have gained back 20 lbs of that 75 lost. I don't know why but you have said so well what I was feeling. You get so frustrated. But, here I am here starting this week to try and get this 20 lbs off and to lose the other 20 that I never did manage to lose when I had lost the original 75. But, you are so right, it is a lifetime battle. I have seen people go through it and give up and I do not want to be one of them. I want to succeed. For me!! For no one else, but for me. I deserve it!!
Congrats to you for stopping at 20 and starting over. Even more congrats on keeping the weight off for 5 years!!!0 -
Awesome post....and so true!0
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But all the knowledge in the world doesn't stop the mental issues a person has with food or their body. When I look in the mirror, I do not see the thin skinny girl everyone says I am. I see the old stretch marks and the excess skin which makes me look at myself as though I've only lost 10 lbs. I still see the fat Cassie.
Congratulations on your success! You have done it the only way that will really work in the long term - focus on your health, educate yourself and watch those binge eating triggers.
But I have to add, as someone who has lost and then re-gained more than 50 pounds at least once a decade, you have to work on your mental self-image as well. Strong self-control is vital but it won't carry you through a lifetime. Sooner or later, life is going to throw you a curve ball and you've got to have the inner strength that comes from loving yourself to survive it.
My advice is to stop thinking of yourself as a fat person who has lost a lot of weight. Give yourself permission to think and see yourself as normal sized person. Just as you stop yourself from binging, stop yourself from binging on negative thinking. Every time you start, catch yourself and stop. If the excess skin or stretch marks bother you, stop yourself and focus on a positive aspect of your body instead. You have a lot of self-discipline skills for eating and exercising - you can develop the same for control over your thoughts as well.
There are all kinds of ways to reinforce positive thinking - you can do the research and find them as well. I just can't stress enough how important this is. Stop beating yourself up about past behavior. There's nothing you can do about it now except what you've already done, that is: you changed your behavior. Let go of the old you as if she had never existed.
The praise and recognition from your friends and family is going to slow down and stop, it's inevitable. You are the only person who is going to continually be recognizing what a great job you're doing and how good you look now. If you don't, then no one is going to be giving you the positive feedback that is critical to your long term success.
Good luck! Be good to yourself in all ways.0 -
Can I get an AMEN?!0
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This is for life. It will always be difficult and will always be a struggle. But it's a struggle that's worth it.0
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I totally agree with you! It is such a struggle, I fail all the time because I love food! Your story was very inspiring! My husband lost a ton of weight and has saggy skin as well his doctor told him drink lots of water and that he/you are so young that chances are it will shrink back in time! Congrats to you!!! Keep up your good hard work!0
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Yes, as I can get it off, I always gain it back. How do you stop that. Why are our brains so good at sabotoging. (sp) If someone could figure that out they would be very rich.
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Thanks everyone for your responses. Sometimes I girl just needs to vent. This is not a diet - it's a lifestyle change. We all know that changing your life isn't easy! Hugs!!0
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Thank you for sharing your struggles and thoughts
it helps to know others face the same issues i do0
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