Is this normal?

millygrl
millygrl Posts: 98 Member
edited September 27 in Health and Weight Loss
So, in a little over a month I have lost 20 lbs. I am so happy with how well I am doing and can actually see results!
However, my issue is that I never want to go out anymore. I don't want to hang out with friends, go to the bar, go to parties, etc because I am worried I will get off track. I am supposed to go away for the (Canadian) long weekend to a friends cottage , but I am actually sick to my stomach at the thought of going. Four days at someone elses house, no real control over whats going to happen. I have already planned out all my meals, but I am just so scared I'm going to screw up. I have almost called my friend a 100 times to cancel. I know some of you are probably thinking that I should just enjoy the weekend and then work it out on Tuesday. The thing is I have tried so many times to lost weight, but I have never been this motivated or doing it in a healthy way. I am for once proud of myself and I don't want to let me down.
So my question of all of you is, is this normal? Has any one else become almost anti-social on the mission to a healthy weight?
Also, if anyone has any helpful advice about staying on track, it would be much appreciated : )

Replies

  • My advice to you would be, plan your meals even when you are away. Pack yourself a cooler with the items you will need. You don't want to lose touch with those you care about. You can still have control over what you put in your stomach. Those who care about you will support you. So get your food ready, frozen if needed and go off and have a great time.
  • Ashalahn_LMT
    Ashalahn_LMT Posts: 342 Member
    i have felt the same way, too many times. Eventually I got it through my head that "cheating" here and there are far better for me than never leaving the house, obsessing over health, losing friends, and not experiencing life. Basically, what's the point of being in perfect health and having a great body if you never let anyone see it or be around you? The reward of working out and being healthy is the chance to go out and experience life and friends and everything around you. And I also look at it as the chance to motivate and inspire others. In the end, you are not alone in the feeling. I still struggle with it sometimes.
  • changling82
    changling82 Posts: 137 Member
    yep, me! it does get better though. When I first started out, 8 months ago, I didn't want to do anything but go to the gym. As i've gained the control to balance calories and working out, it's gotten way better. I'm still the semi-antisocial girl at the gym on a friday or saturday night, but I no longer say I have to go to the gym instead. I'll meet people out after, or I go to the gym a little earlier.
  • kml07071
    kml07071 Posts: 29
    I feel the same way. I am going to Boston for my 21st birthday and I am really excited for the trip with friends and family but then I am nervous because i have been eating so well and working out every day so I know exactly how you feel! I think it is only normal and eventually we should get over it.
  • emmajane_2288
    emmajane_2288 Posts: 132 Member
    I feel scared all the time! The other week my friends asked me round for a takeaway, I did want to go, but I didnt want to binge on loads of food..!

    Well - I did binge.. but no where near as much as I would usually have done.

    Its all about self control.. What happens when you have lost the weight? Are you still never going to leave your house because you might eat something naughty?

    Dont let this control your life! I had my takeaway, felt a bit downhearted afterwards but the next day was a new day .. and since then ive lost 4lbs!

    If you get offered anything naughty just say no.. there are always healthy options available. Even if the meal that is put in front of you is a little unhealthy just eat half.. or ask your friend if you can have veg instead of chips? Im sure she isnt going to say no!

    Pack some healthy snacks in your bag and drink plenty of water while you are there.

    Everyone has to let their hair down sometime!
  • changling82
    changling82 Posts: 137 Member
    i have felt the same way, too many times. Eventually I got it through my head that "cheating" here and there are far better for me than never leaving the house, obsessing over health, losing friends, and not experiencing life. Basically, what's the point of being in perfect health and having a great body if you never let anyone see it or be around you? The reward of working out and being healthy is the chance to go out and experience life and friends and everything around you. And I also look at it as the chance to motivate and inspire others. In the end, you are not alone in the feeling. I still struggle with it sometimes.

    like! well said!
  • cghiggins518
    cghiggins518 Posts: 48 Member
    Very normal and I have stressed about it in the past. Going on vacation was my worst fear. A week away from the norm where there would be a ton of food available. But you only live once and from my past experience you need to go away and enjoy life. Try to make the right decisions but if you dont then it probably will not affect you anyway in a big way anyway. You can do it! You should not be stressing over something like this. Remember this is a lifestyle change we are all doing.

    Lets just hope the world doesnt end on saturday. thats what i am stressing about.
  • I completely get it!

    I like the advice to pack yourself a cooler -- if anything, I bet your friends would LOVE a taste of your new healthy cooking/eating. Maybe pitch it that way and ask if you can be the cook this weekend, if they're close friends and you're comfortable with that.

    When in doubt, anything that passes through your lips is YOUR CHOICE. You can definitely hold to it, even hundreds of miles from home...
  • broadsword7
    broadsword7 Posts: 411 Member
    I would think it's indicative of how you are taking your health seriously. We all need social activity, though, and I believe the key is to be who you are, be attentive to your health needs, and yet, do not shy away from having fun. There is nothing wrong with suggesting to your host that you have dietary concerns and you will be addressing them. I would even pack a few "good" things to eat for yourself if you know for certain you will not have access to the stuff you need. In the long run, people who know you, care about you, and respect who you are, will understand and be supportive. And if you find your social circle changing somewhat, maybe you are also finding out who your real friends are. I am a believer in the fact that you can still be attentive to your own needs but let loose enough socially and actively to hang out with others. If the scene gets too wild for you, it just means that you are in a different place than those around you. Groove on who you are and who you are becoming, and keep your eyes open for people and friends who are grooving on the same thing.
  • cmo1987
    cmo1987 Posts: 40 Member
    I'm so happy to read this and see that I'm not alone with losing my social life. In my persute to be healthy I have stopped smoking, eating out ( fast food) and drinking every night with my friends. Since I've started this journey in january I have lost almost all my friends I realize these bad habits was one of the big reasons why we stayed close. It still bothers me to basically be alone in this, but Ive decided once I reach my goal I'm going to go find new friends that lift me up and support my decision to be better, not hold me back. :)
  • lovingbears2
    lovingbears2 Posts: 73 Member
    Yep, my husband and I had planned and payed for a B&B weekend. I was so afraid to go!!! But, I planned ahead, made good choices at the breakfast they offered, was careful at lunch and dinner at the restaurants, as there are ALWAYS healthy choices if you really look for them, and we had a great time.

    You are going to a cottage, so I am guessing there are probably walking trails or areas to just walk thru to keep your exercise up and give you extra exercise calories to work with? I agree that I would pack a cooler with foods you know you can eat, with extras of the same for your friends in case they want to partake,so it is your contribution to the weekend, but just healthy choices! There are so many GREAT healthy (i.e. skinnytaste.com) recipes that it doesn't have to come across as "diet food", just delicious food that you are bringing into the mix. Always fresh veggies, like a veggie tray, fruit tray, etc, will come across as a colorful party contribution. Have FUN with it! Enjoy your friends, and your life!
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    Go for a run EVERY MORING this long weekend to burn at least 500 cals then at least you have a buffer. Most of your friends will be asleep and this doesn't require any equipment.

    Bring veggie trays to share and your own box of healthy cereal for breakfast when they are all making pancakes.

    It will be ok, please enjoy the weekend it's actually supposed to be sunny!
  • ahhhh I am exactly the same way!!! I know if I put myself in a controlled environment I wont cheat but if left out in the "real world" I will get off track. I have had to cancel dates, going to parties/bars, or going places with my family so I don't risk it!!! Since it is the start of my diet I think I will be able to ease up, this is a life style change and we need to learn to deal with it....but its so hard and I totally understand that....I think once we get over the initial shock of dieting we both will be more motivated to hang out with friends and have a good time without the stress of getting off track!!!
  • You and I joined about the same time. Lucky for you you have a lot less to lose. I have a lot of the same feelings. I am so proud of the results I have obtained, and I get angry with myself if I go over my goal. The best thing I have come up with is forgiving myself when I do screw up, so I don't really go over or even maybe quit out of guilt. I to am a very social person and love family gatherings. When I am in these situations I really focus on not picking at snacks, eating small portions, drinking lots of water. I will allow a glass of wine, finding the fruit tray. I also look for a way for the people I am with to go out and enjoy some exercise. At Easter the whole family went up to the park and played basketball for a couple of hours. By doing all of these things I finished the day under my goal and had a great time.
    I also shoot pool on a league, which means going to the bar twice a week. I stick to water and once a month or so I allow myself one drink. I still enjoy my friends and activity in the process. Oh, I hardly ever eat at the bar. I eat at home first.
    I have lost 24 lbs and am excited about meeting my goal.
    Keep up the good work and enjoy your life. don't let this stress you out.
  • First off, GREAT JOB!!! Now breathe... :D

    Well, going out and still being social is part of how we learn how to cope with external factors on our journey's. I've found (for restaurants) that if I look up the nutrition on items before hand I can calculate about what I can eat so I don't freak out about my calorie intake when we go somewhere. (If you have a smartphone, this is even easier because you can do this on the fly.) Anyway, keep a list of frequented places with foods and calories.

    As for going out to your friends, you seem really prepared! I've found for myself that if I monitor my foods on my phone it saves me. And if I go over, it's like 50 calories and not a bajillion. Also, don't be afraid to try that pasta, or other tasty dish someone might make. Just have a little. It will help teach you in the long run that you can still eat and not be derailed. And it all comes down to portions. It will also help you from feeling deprived. If you eat a hershey kiss for example, you eat one. And that's better than half the bag. And you've killed a craving for chocolate at the same time. ;)

    Most importantly to remember; if you mess up on a meal, or a day, do not catastrophise the event!!! This is so important for every person on here!!! When we do that, it leads to the road of "I'm a failure." When we are not! We're human. And horses do buck every now and then. (Mines been a bronco at times, and more from medication rather than giant pig out sessions!) I've wanted to quit so many times, but the thing that keeps me going is knowing that i never want to lose that weight again. So the only way is forward.

    So back to you! lol Again, 20 lbs in 1 month is fantastic!!! What you are experiencing is normal. Now it's time to learn how to start coping with outside situations. It's tricky, but not impossible. And you can do it!!!
  • millygrl
    millygrl Posts: 98 Member
    Thank you all for sharing. It makes me feel better just to know that I am not alone in this feeling.
    I definitely think I will bring a cooler as some of you suggested. Its going to be a full house (20 people) so I think fridge space is going to be at a premium.
    I think I am a little worried that this is going to cause trouble in my friendship. We have all been friends since high school and its one of those "drink til the sun comes up" friendships. I just don't know where I am going to fit in anymore.
    Oh and yes there are walkng trails and a long beautiful beach to walk on. I am always the first one awake, so I think I will get some calories burned first thing.
    Thanks again everyone for the advice : )
  • Jenni268
    Jenni268 Posts: 202 Member
    Unfortunately, we live in a pretty unhealthy world. Part of making this lifestyle change in order to get healthy and lose weight is learning how to function in the real world. And the real world is not sitting alone in your house, afraid to face the outside dangers of food! :)

    I love that you are so concerned about getting healthy and, as someone who has "started" a journey like this at least 20 times before with no success, I completely understand. However, you have to learn to function in situations like this. Part of it is simply learning by trial and error. You're not always going to be in situations where you can control what they are serving/eating. What you can control, however, is yourself! :)

    If they make burgers, leave off the bun to save 100-150 cals. And eat only one. Fill up on veggies instead of chips. If they don't have veggies, eat a few chips, but take a small handful onto your plate and don't just keep dipping into the bowl. (It's incredible how much THAT can add up to!) Like heathersmilz said, try to make time to exercise, too. If you're going to a cabin, suggest you all go for a hike!

    All in all, use the weekend as an opportunity to test yourself. Prove to yourself that you've got it under control and can resist the temptation to go crazy!!!!
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    Does your friend know that you are trying toloose weight? Mention to them that you're trying really hard and that you're worried. Just make sure that you keep your portions small and be sensible!
  • millygrl
    millygrl Posts: 98 Member
    Does your friend know that you are trying toloose weight? Mention to them that you're trying really hard and that you're worried. Just make sure that you keep your portions small and be sensible!

    I guess he knows because he commented on how good I looked (my first NSV my the way) , but we haven't really talked about how dedicated I am. I think I kind of play it off, because it makes me a little uncomfortable talking about it. (Another one of my weird things)
    I think my saving grace is going to be that I don't eat meat, so I am not even going to be able to eat half of what they make lol.
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