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I have an enabler - do you?
Cletc
Posts: 352
I have an enabler - do you?
:-)
Or should I say, Don't we all ?
To put it milder, I think I just have nice folks who don't want to see me "Deprive" myself (KWIM?)
I don't get on the defensive, but rather join in their Enthusiasm -- give them what they want, but only in fantasy
I nod, smile, sparkle my eyes and Very Enthusiastically say something like:
Oh, that looks good !
Oh, you know my favorites !
Oh, you betcha I'm going to have some when I hit my Goal !
Oh, I know it won't hurt, you can know I"m going to enjoy that once I get to Goal !
What are you talking about, I didn't give up [food item], that's my Treat once I hit Goal !
What? I'm not depriving myself. I'm going to hit Goal so I can have some of that again !
Nuh-uh, I'm not "On A Diet" -- I'm just saving that for when I get to Goal.
Oh, yeah, that looks delicious, you just wait til I'm At Goal...!...
My strategy is to agree with them in principle, with visible enthusiam, seem on their team, and Not be defensive.
My answers are Very Yes-like, using when "I get to Goal" as a "yes."
Of course, when I get to Goal ~wink~ I many change my mind whether to indulge or not....and to what degree....
But for now, I say YES to everything.... "..when I get to Goal..."
I find it helps those who encourage me "not to deprive myself" to see that I'm not.
And then they don't feel like Outsiders either. Who wants to do what they think is a Nice Gesture and receive a Defensive Response anyway eh?
:laugh:
What about you?
Have anyone who doesn't mind steering you off course in some way ?
:drinker:
:-)
Or should I say, Don't we all ?
To put it milder, I think I just have nice folks who don't want to see me "Deprive" myself (KWIM?)
I don't get on the defensive, but rather join in their Enthusiasm -- give them what they want, but only in fantasy
I nod, smile, sparkle my eyes and Very Enthusiastically say something like:
Oh, that looks good !
Oh, you know my favorites !
Oh, you betcha I'm going to have some when I hit my Goal !
Oh, I know it won't hurt, you can know I"m going to enjoy that once I get to Goal !
What are you talking about, I didn't give up [food item], that's my Treat once I hit Goal !
What? I'm not depriving myself. I'm going to hit Goal so I can have some of that again !
Nuh-uh, I'm not "On A Diet" -- I'm just saving that for when I get to Goal.
Oh, yeah, that looks delicious, you just wait til I'm At Goal...!...
My strategy is to agree with them in principle, with visible enthusiam, seem on their team, and Not be defensive.
My answers are Very Yes-like, using when "I get to Goal" as a "yes."
Of course, when I get to Goal ~wink~ I many change my mind whether to indulge or not....and to what degree....
But for now, I say YES to everything.... "..when I get to Goal..."
I find it helps those who encourage me "not to deprive myself" to see that I'm not.
And then they don't feel like Outsiders either. Who wants to do what they think is a Nice Gesture and receive a Defensive Response anyway eh?
:laugh:
What about you?
Have anyone who doesn't mind steering you off course in some way ?
:drinker:
0
Replies
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You're handling this very well. I got the same thing for quite some time: "you've lost too much weight," or "when are you going to start eating real food instead of rabbit food?" or "just a bit of this steak won't hurt you, c'mon..."
The response that usually worked best for me was "I really don't want to get diabetes like you, and Grandmother and Grandfather did. I'm doing fine, really, you go ahead..."
Now they accept the leaner fitter me.
It's hard for people to see others close to them succeeding where they fail. It makes them uncomfortable. And probably they really do love to give you yummies. Just love them and hold your line. You're an inspiration
0 -
Great ideas! I'll have to use some of those.0
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lol - good responses!!
I do too, my boyfriend. But he is more of 'a tempter'. He knows im sticking to set calories, and that i will treat myself to nice things if i have enough calories spare. But he loves his food (as do I, thats why im on MFP) and he eats loads of nice things in front of me and ALWAYS says 'would you like to try a bit?' but the tinyest mouthfull always turns into more and more! - he is too generous withhis food!!lol
Hmmmm, maybe his way of loosing weight is letting me eat the majority of his meals?!?!?!? lol0 -
My wife is Korean and doesn't think I have eaten a proper supper unless the food covers the whole plate at least an inch deep.
Fortunately, it is always pretty healthy food. Last night it was two large catfish fillets and around two cups of fried rice with vegitables.
So, to keep her happy I just eat less during the day so there is room for that supper each night.0 -
Misery loves company, and folks may not realize it. When you get to your goal weight you may not have the same friends.0
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. But he is more of 'a tempter'.
Yes, a "tempter"
is a better descriptor.
That's what I mean I'm sure.ALWAYS says 'would you like to try a bit?'
You bet I want to try a bit....offer that to me again when I'm At Goal, yup!..."0
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