ATTN: Aspiring comedians and all around funny people.

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Replies

  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    taunto wrote: »
    Posting this because I'm too lazy to re-write. Just change grammar and recyle


    This is what happens to girls that decline my FR. I take one of their tampons and carefully hollow out the center of it so that only the tip and the end with string remain. Then get a box of razer blades, freeze them, then smash them into razor sharp metal fragments. Get a bottle of pure capsaicin (pure hot pepper extract) and some epoxy along with some fish hook and some corn starch.

    Then I take the razor blade fragments and epoxy them to several fish hooks. Make an unholy mixture of salt + capsaicin to make around 1 tbsp, heat it up and add a dash of cornstarch. Then I mix this together, put it in the plastic dispenser and put it in the freezer to set up solid. Then I put the cotton tip back on one side of the tampon and the other piece of cotton with the string attached back on the other end. I now have a tampon that looks like a tampon, but has a nasty payload of razor sharp metal, fish hooks, capsaicin and salt in the middle.

    When they put that tampon in, the “gelatin” will melt and the capsaicin will start to burn the inside of her vajayjay, desperately they will pull on the string to find that nothing is attached, finally, she will desperately try to rrach in and find out what is going on. The fish hooks should inmed themselves in the walls of the vagina while the sharp metal epoxied to them are causing multiple bleeding lacerations. The salt amplifies this 10x. They should now be lying on the ground screaming and writing in pain with a bleeding vajayjay while I stand back and laugh maniacally.

    And he wonders why some people might find him a misogynist and very, very creepy.

  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,734 Member
    Bury it again.

    g7g7g8dv6xnn.jpg
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    taunto wrote: »
    Posting this because I'm too lazy to re-write. Just change grammar and recyle


    This is what happens to girls that decline my FR. I take one of their tampons and carefully hollow out the center of it so that only the tip and the end with string remain. Then get a box of razer blades, freeze them, then smash them into razor sharp metal fragments. Get a bottle of pure capsaicin (pure hot pepper extract) and some epoxy along with some fish hook and some corn starch.

    Then I take the razor blade fragments and epoxy them to several fish hooks. Make an unholy mixture of salt + capsaicin to make around 1 tbsp, heat it up and add a dash of cornstarch. Then I mix this together, put it in the plastic dispenser and put it in the freezer to set up solid. Then I put the cotton tip back on one side of the tampon and the other piece of cotton with the string attached back on the other end. I now have a tampon that looks like a tampon, but has a nasty payload of razor sharp metal, fish hooks, capsaicin and salt in the middle.

    When they put that tampon in, the “gelatin” will melt and the capsaicin will start to burn the inside of her vajayjay, desperately they will pull on the string to find that nothing is attached, finally, she will desperately try to rrach in and find out what is going on. The fish hooks should inmed themselves in the walls of the vagina while the sharp metal epoxied to them are causing multiple bleeding lacerations. The salt amplifies this 10x. They should now be lying on the ground screaming and writing in pain with a bleeding vajayjay while I stand back and laugh maniacally.

    two words? Human Centipede. Crazy *kitten* sells.
  • pechepanda
    pechepanda Posts: 7,939 Member
    taunto wrote: »
    Posting this because I'm too lazy to re-write. Just change grammar and recyle


    This is what happens to girls that decline my FR. I take one of their tampons and carefully hollow out the center of it so that only the tip and the end with string remain. Then get a box of razer blades, freeze them, then smash them into razor sharp metal fragments. Get a bottle of pure capsaicin (pure hot pepper extract) and some epoxy along with some fish hook and some corn starch.

    Then I take the razor blade fragments and epoxy them to several fish hooks. Make an unholy mixture of salt + capsaicin to make around 1 tbsp, heat it up and add a dash of cornstarch. Then I mix this together, put it in the plastic dispenser and put it in the freezer to set up solid. Then I put the cotton tip back on one side of the tampon and the other piece of cotton with the string attached back on the other end. I now have a tampon that looks like a tampon, but has a nasty payload of razor sharp metal, fish hooks, capsaicin and salt in the middle.

    When they put that tampon in, the “gelatin” will melt and the capsaicin will start to burn the inside of her vajayjay, desperately they will pull on the string to find that nothing is attached, finally, she will desperately try to rrach in and find out what is going on. The fish hooks should inmed themselves in the walls of the vagina while the sharp metal epoxied to them are causing multiple bleeding lacerations. The salt amplifies this 10x. They should now be lying on the ground screaming and writing in pain with a bleeding vajayjay while I stand back and laugh maniacally.
    Im kind of impressed...or weirded out, maybe both

  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    brower47 wrote: »
    taunto wrote: »
    Posting this because I'm too lazy to re-write. Just change grammar and recyle


    This is what happens to girls that decline my FR. I take one of their tampons and carefully hollow out the center of it so that only the tip and the end with string remain. Then get a box of razer blades, freeze them, then smash them into razor sharp metal fragments. Get a bottle of pure capsaicin (pure hot pepper extract) and some epoxy along with some fish hook and some corn starch.

    Then I take the razor blade fragments and epoxy them to several fish hooks. Make an unholy mixture of salt + capsaicin to make around 1 tbsp, heat it up and add a dash of cornstarch. Then I mix this together, put it in the plastic dispenser and put it in the freezer to set up solid. Then I put the cotton tip back on one side of the tampon and the other piece of cotton with the string attached back on the other end. I now have a tampon that looks like a tampon, but has a nasty payload of razor sharp metal, fish hooks, capsaicin and salt in the middle.

    When they put that tampon in, the “gelatin” will melt and the capsaicin will start to burn the inside of her vajayjay, desperately they will pull on the string to find that nothing is attached, finally, she will desperately try to rrach in and find out what is going on. The fish hooks should inmed themselves in the walls of the vagina while the sharp metal epoxied to them are causing multiple bleeding lacerations. The salt amplifies this 10x. They should now be lying on the ground screaming and writing in pain with a bleeding vajayjay while I stand back and laugh maniacally.

    And he wonders why some people might find him a misogynist and very, very creepy.

    I have never wondered that...