Valid complaint?
After finishing my session with a client tonight, I was approached by a very fit looking female on a gym pass. She was wearing just a sports bra and short spandex pants.
Her complaint was that while working out in the free weight area, one of the members kept looking over at her every few minutes. This member is a regular and I've NEVER had a complaint (nor heard of one) and is probably one of the nicest guys in the gym. So I told her I'd TALK to him.
So I went over to him and pretty much just said "Hi, how you been?" I glanced back at the lady and she looked back, smiled and then left. I then just said, "just checking to see how your workouts have been since I haven't talk to you in awhile." Then I said bye and left him.
Obviously I didn't address the issue because I didn't really see it as a valid complaint.
Agree or disagree?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Her complaint was that while working out in the free weight area, one of the members kept looking over at her every few minutes. This member is a regular and I've NEVER had a complaint (nor heard of one) and is probably one of the nicest guys in the gym. So I told her I'd TALK to him.
So I went over to him and pretty much just said "Hi, how you been?" I glanced back at the lady and she looked back, smiled and then left. I then just said, "just checking to see how your workouts have been since I haven't talk to you in awhile." Then I said bye and left him.
Obviously I didn't address the issue because I didn't really see it as a valid complaint.
Agree or disagree?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies
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Agree0
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Agree. Definitely not valid. If he would've said something strange to her or started to gesture to her, then that's a different story. But since she just complained about him looking at her, there's not much to that. (I've noticed that in the gym, people like to glance in the mirrors a lot. That could have been mistaken for him glancing at her, when he was actually looking around her to see in the mirror.)0
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Agree.0
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Agree0
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Agreed0
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You're a better man than I am. I wouldnt have even bothered walking over to the guy over something like that.0
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Sometimes you have to pacify people to keep sanity. People get angry when they feel they are being ignored and I just wanted to go home, rather than try to explain to the the MOD why I disregarded her complaint if she ended up going to the front desk and complaining I did nothing at all.Jersey__Devil wrote: »You're a better man than I am. I wouldnt have even bothered walking over to the guy over something like that.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Well I guess she's starting to figure out what she can do about her problem. Is this about her manner of dress? Is it about whether or not she feels safe? It's not clear what is really happening here, maybe she perceives a greater threat....maybe she's right. But now she has made you aware she has a concern. Hope everything works out well.0
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I'm sure it's about her dress. Hardly any female in our facility dresses that way, even the hot ones. I estimate she was in her mid 20's and that was the first time I've ever seen her. Most of our members are from 30 up to 80 years old, so maybe she felt intimidated by an older man staring at her. Who knows, but I do know that anyone dressing up with just a sports bra and short spandex will get a second or 3rd glance from men and women since it's not a common thing here.Justygirl77 wrote: »Well I guess she's starting to figure out what she can do about her problem. Is this about her manner of dress? Is it about whether or not she feels safe? It's not clear what is really happening here, maybe she perceives a greater threat....maybe she's right. But now she has made you aware she has a concern. Hope everything works out well.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I'm sure it's about her dress. Hardly any female in our facility dresses that way, even the hot ones. I estimate she was in her mid 20's and that was the first time I've ever seen her. Most of our members are from 30 up to 80 years old, so maybe she felt intimidated by an older man staring at her. Who knows, but I do know that anyone dressing up with just a sports bra and short spandex will get a second or 3rd glance from men and women since it's not a common thing here.Justygirl77 wrote: »Well I guess she's starting to figure out what she can do about her problem. Is this about her manner of dress? Is it about whether or not she feels safe? It's not clear what is really happening here, maybe she perceives a greater threat....maybe she's right. But now she has made you aware she has a concern. Hope everything works out well.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Then I'm sure you'll hear from her again. LoL0 -
No doubt. Maybe unless of course it's during the time the "young bucks" are in working out and staring.
I'm sure it's about her dress. Hardly any female in our facility dresses that way, even the hot ones. I estimate she was in her mid 20's and that was the first time I've ever seen her. Most of our members are from 30 up to 80 years old, so maybe she felt intimidated by an older man staring at her. Who knows, but I do know that anyone dressing up with just a sports bra and short spandex will get a second or 3rd glance from men and women since it's not a common thing here.Justygirl77 wrote: »Well I guess she's starting to figure out what she can do about her problem. Is this about her manner of dress? Is it about whether or not she feels safe? It's not clear what is really happening here, maybe she perceives a greater threat....maybe she's right. But now she has made you aware she has a concern. Hope everything works out well.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Then I'm sure you'll hear from her again. LoL
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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At what point does he cross a line? A man at the gym has made a point of positioning himself to watch me while I work out. I make it a point to block his view. After a while he got my point. I did not change my manner of dress. Another man followed me around the gym and made it a point to watch me, and to take a machine next to me....he fully exercised his right to the gym in an In-Your-Face kind of way, he was really intimidating to me, he made my heart pound. When I adjusted the times I went (I went earlier), so did he. Never at any time did I talk to him or look at him directly. I really did not know who I could tell? Who else would notice this subtle intimidation. If he was pals with the managers, I mean, what would I say...this? Who would care?
I don't know this girl's story, but i'll be the last one to judge her. For myself, I was just getting back exercising and taking care of myself, my youngest child (I have 5 children) was just finished nursing. I wanted some "me" time and was baffled that I was getting harrassed. I was so exhausted and just wanted to take care of my poor trashed nervous system and need for self-care. I wore sweats and a loose tshirt. I really couldn't cope with the stress, nor fight back. confrontation was not in my toolbox, and I was valuing my anonymity. It was a small no-classes gym. It was a gym close to me that I could attend and still get back in time to a waking baby and family. Do **I** have to change gyms? Should I put on more clothing?
So I would say... be aware without judging either one of them?0 -
Crossing the line would be contact when none is wanted. Yes there are some people who just stare at others, but it's not a crime. Could it lead to something else? Possibly, but one can't condemn anyone just for looking especially if what one is wearing is drawing attention to themselves. This just doesn't happen at gyms, but libraries, schools, and even at work for lots of people.
Let's look at it another way: one of our members is gay and he wears his hair and some of the "loudest" clothing. He gets stares ALL the time. What if he were to come and say the same to me? I'd treat it just like I did the last one.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
If she's only wearing a bra and shorts, duh, guys are going to look! Her outfit is screaming "LOOK AT ME!" She could at least put a tank top on.0
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It's like a real life MFP forums played out.
It's too early to tell what might be the real issue - if it is her or the guy is really doing anything creepy. I think ya acknowledged both parties and you'll just have to see.0
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