Binge Eating and Self Confidence- Help

melodyfrederiksen · May 2015

As per usual, I've run into the problem of binge eating again after coming home from college. When I'm at school I'm very active and restrictive about what I eat. I work out twice a day (once in the evening and once at night) and mostly feed myself raw foods and lean meat. I also eat the same things every day.

When I come home, there are so many foods I that I love and haven't had in a long time, so I eat everything in sight. I know I need to stop and wake up with full conviction of having a healthy day but I always inevitably break down and just full out binge by the time evening comes around..

I talked to my family about it and thankfully, they allowed me to box up all of my trigger foods from the kitchen and put them in another room. This has helped me a lot. However, my confidence is completely destroyed from the ten pounds I've gained since being here. I know I need to get out of the house and be active in order to lose this weight but I'm so miserable with how I look. Being miserable makes me want to seek comfort in food, and staying inside all day makes me feel like I'm just keeping myself occupied as I'm waiting until it's time to eat again. The days are so much longer now that I'm not busy with school.. I feel like losing the weight will take forever and that also makes me sad. Now that I'm home and I have the time, I'd like to visit my family and old friends, but I don't want them to see me like this...

My question is, how do I feel better about myself again? I've been binge eating for two weeks and gained a lot of weight.. now what? How do I get back into a more positive mindset and feel like myself again?

lyrical_melody · May 2015

I have been in the same situation many times when I come home from school when I was in college. Due to this, I would spend most of my days outside of the house. I would pack a small backpack with some snacks and I would ride my bike all day long around the city. It was great because I was outside enjoying the fresh air and could see rivers, and trails, and all that good stuff and at the same time I was exercising and would have small snacks along the way.

I would also suggest to keep all your trigger foods outside of the house. I will tell you that moving them from one room to another will not help- You know where it is and you will find it. If your family is supportive then they should be ok with getting rid of the food that triggers you, or if they need it, they keep it somewhere only they know.

Hope this helps...summer can be long so I suggest keeping yourself busy by being outside

Good luck!

DemoraFairy · May 2015

Firstly, if you feel you're restricting yourself while you're at school, then eat the foods you love at school in moderation so that you don't binge when you come home!

You don't need to exercise to lose weight, just eat a calorie deficit. I mean, do go out and exercise, but make sure to be careful about how much you're eating. And don't feel like you can't possibly lose weight if you can't bring yourself to go outside, because it's not true. Just track what you eat.

Finally, if you've been back for 2 weeks, you'd have to have been eating 2,500 extra calories a day to have gained 10lbs of fat. This seems unlikely as you'd probably would have had to have been eating around 4,000 calories a day to make that happen. The weight is probably partly water weight, which you'll gain temporarily if you eat salty foods. It doesn't really affect how you look. I also can't see that 10lbs would make that much difference anyway - I gained 20lbs after coming home from uni and can't see any difference in myself whatsoever (and that was gaining 20lbs from a point of being nearly underweight, and weight shows more the less you weigh). I do admit I'm terrible at seeing the differences in weight loss a lot of the time, but really don't think 10lbs can have made that much difference, especially since it's very unlikely to be 10lbs of fat.

So if you want to lose that weight again then track your calories. And make sure to drink lots of water - if it is water retention then those pounds will come off in a few days!

Vcorz · May 2015

If you really did gain 10pounds so quickly, that's a sure sign your body was undernourished and at a weight to low for you to naturally maintain. I'm sure you look even better with those 10 pounds on...maybe try to eat healthily and embrace it?

melodyfrederiksen · May 2015

Thank you for the advice so far, I really appreciate it. Yeah, I was undernourished at school.. I started the school year wanting to lose weight; I've always been about ten pounds heavier than I want to be. I go to a military college and entered into the year long training program that's preliminary to commissioning as an officer when I graduate.. It was often a very high stress environment for me, with having to balance training with school and also fulfilling my obligation to the corps.. I did a lot of running on my own aside from working out I was already doing for training. Running was a great way to deal with the stress and also kept my hunger at bay. I lost the weight quickly by not eating much, drinking lots of water, and burning sometimes 1000 calories a day with exercise alone. I didn't dare eat more because I was so busy all the time, and I always felt eating slowed me down. So much depended on my performance in this training program and I was always being assessed and watched, which was another reason the weight had to go. I was meticulous in what I ate as to raise my esteem in the eyes of my superiors since my commission rests on their opinion of me..

Luckily, I did well, and gained a lot of respect from being so healthy and fit. I was in the best shape of my life, discovered a passion for running, and really felt like myself for the first time in my life. For the past month though, I've been slacking.. I've been so strict and hard on myself all year and it feels good to just let go. I know some of it is water weight but a lot of it isn't. I'm 5'1 and ten pounds on me is more noticeable; I see it in every inch of my body. I get self conscious and reclusive and not like myself.. Being overweight is a common thing, and most people are, including many of my friends and family. But for some reason I feel like it's unacceptable for me to be. As though my body does not reflect my achievements, and doesn't look like the person I am. My confidence is destroyed because of that.

illyich · May 2015

You are so much more than only your body shape. My advice would be to find something that you love doing, perhaps a creative pursuit, and spend some time with it. Set a non-food/weight/size/exercise goal for yourself for the summer. Still track your food, and eat at 100 calories under maintenance - it's easier and more flexible than doing a straight -500. Continue exercising.

dubird · May 2015

Keep up exercising. If running makes you feel good about yourself, keep it up. It's good for you and can help burn off some of the excess calories you're eating.

Other advice: don't base your self worth on your body. I know it's hard, I still have trouble with that myself. But look at what you accomplished during the school year! You're in better shape now than you have been, so don't let a little weight gain screw you up. You binged, it wasn't the best choice and you know it. Best thing to do is chalk it up to experience and start a new day. One setback is not the end of the world or the end of your journey. You just pulled over for gas and to see the Giant Ball of String. Take your pictures, get back in the car, and keep going!

ahoy_m8 · May 2015

Another idea for getting out of the house--getting a part time job as a summer nanny. Summer is tough for working parents of school aged kids. I always got a college or high school girl half days in summer. When my girls were small, I'd drop them at a half-day "camp," and then the nanny would pick them up and hang out the other half of the day. When they were older, I got my girls doing chores in the morning to "earn" their nanny in the afternoon. She was their ticket to freedom. Now my girls are in high school and looking for work, and I know how hard it is finding a job, especially if you only have a few weeks you can commit. Childcare is by far the most flexible and highest paying work available to young people. It would get you out of the house, be low stress, add a few dollars to your wallet, and still give you half days to see friends and family.

crazyjerseygirl · May 2015

melodyfrederiksen wrote: »

As per usual, I've run into the problem of binge eating again after coming home from college. When I'm at school I'm very active and restrictive about what I eat. I work out twice a day (once in the evening and once at night) and mostly feed myself raw foods and lean meat. I also eat the same things every day.

When I come home, there are so many foods I that I love and haven't had in a long time, so I eat everything in sight. I know I need to stop and wake up with full conviction of having a healthy day but I always inevitably break down and just full out binge by the time evening comes around..

I talked to my family about it and thankfully, they allowed me to box up all of my trigger foods from the kitchen and put them in another room. This has helped me a lot. However, my confidence is completely destroyed from the ten pounds I've gained since being here. I know I need to get out of the house and be active in order to lose this weight but I'm so miserable with how I look. Being miserable makes me want to seek comfort in food, and staying inside all day makes me feel like I'm just keeping myself occupied as I'm waiting until it's time to eat again. The days are so much longer now that I'm not busy with school.. I feel like losing the weight will take forever and that also makes me sad. Now that I'm home and I have the time, I'd like to visit my family and old friends, but I don't want them to see me like this...

My question is, how do I feel better about myself again? I've been binge eating for two weeks and gained a lot of weight.. now what? How do I get back into a more positive mindset and feel like myself again?

You feel better about yourself by doing things. Go out and do something. If you binge in the evening go to bed first. Do you really thing your friends give a hoot about 10lbs? Those are some pretty *kitten* friends.

Attitudes like this lead to being a shut in. You become so convinced that nobody cares about you that those that do care eventually stop to save their own sanity. I've seen it happen, it's not pretty.

So you can either cry to a forum of people you barely know or you can get outside and go Do Something with people who you really know.

Oh, and learn to work those binge foods in during college, cause unless you want to live along for the rest of your life you have to learn to deal with other ppls food.

Binge Eating and Self Confidence- Help

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