How i battled depression

5 Years ago, I found myself in a cross road. I was 100lbs skin and bone. I was on ADD medicine, ADHD Medicine, I had sleep apnea, allergies and asthma. I took a breathing treatment every night and I had an inhaler I used regularly. I was picked on, excluded from social groups, and bullied both verbally and physically by my peers. The people I called my friends at the time were even picking on me. It was all I knew to be last and be made fun of.


All I did was play video games and when I did eat (the medicine suppressed my appetite so much) it was JUNK! The medicine not only suppressed my appetite, but it suppressed ME! I was this energetic fun loving kid, but every time I took all EIGHT of those pills every morning it felt like I was handcuffing myself suppressing my emotions.


Because of all of the malnourishment and weakness i was often sick. I was also severely crippled with shyness and developed a lot of depression and self hate. I realized I was living a life that I didn't like and that I didn't want. I had no say in my legacy and i KNEW that I wanted to change that.


5 Years ago my best friend at the time joined the wrestling team and started to be active. When we would get together, he would want to wrestle and he pinned me every. single. time. After a couple of months of that happening, i remember waking up one day and asked myself where would i be 5 years from now if i keep doing what im doing? Where would i be? How would i feel? Who would i be surrounded by? … And it scared the hell out of me.


I need to take control of my life and break free from all of the bondage I recently realized I was in. My WANTS became a NEED. I knew I needed a plan. I had a lot of rage and determination to get even with my friend, and see where thing went from there.


I didn’t want to join a gym and toss around weights not knowing what i was doing, i didn't want a personal trainer because i was so shy i didn't want to meet anyone knew for fear of judgement. I wanted something i could do and if i failed, no one would know. So i did my research and found a program to follow!


Then i failed… MISERABLY for the first 6 months because it was FREAKIN HARD. It wasn't until i told some friends what i was doing, and that pushed me to hold myself more accountable since i told them what was going to happen by the end.


Then i did it! I finished the program and was holding my own in wrestling with my friends. THAT MOMENT was the first time i ever achieved something by myself that no one else told me to do. In fact, i had many people i loved and cared about tell me i was stupid for even trying. But i had dedication to get out of the chains that were holding me back from living MY life.


.In less than 4 months i went on to drop ALL of my medicine and inhalers (i haven't taken a pill for anything sense) and being surrounded by that community was completely foreign to me! I now had a whole group of people who were cheering me on and motivating me instead of making fun of me and calling me names! I started to believe I COULD do more and i started to dream again!


Since i have been on stage for figure competitions twice, I teach group fitness (YOU CAN'T BE SHY TO DO THAT!) and i am 50 lbs (of muscle) heavier. It is my mission in this life to help other people who feel trapped and hopeless to live a life that THEY created, and not helping create someone else's dream.


If i can break free from all of my mental struggles, self hate, depression, physical limitations, and even my environment to live by DESIGN and not just surviving, then YOU CAN TO! The choice is yours. Believe in yourself, never give up on yourself, and YOU CAN do this. You are worth it.