Is it ok to feel smug?

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ragdoll7
ragdoll7 Posts: 4
in Success Stories
I never cease to be amazed at all the success stories I read here on MFP...they always gives me lots of encouragement and inspire me to keep going with my personal goals to get myself healthier and fitter. Anyway... I was just thinking about my own achievement over the last couple years in losing three stone (I am now down from 15stone 9lb to 12stone 9lb) and and reducing the size of my fat butt from a size 20 to a size 14...I am ashamed to admit that I always get my motivation from looking around me at other fat people.... I start thinking things like 'thank goodness I don't look like that'. Sounds awful I know... but it always works for me as a constant reminder that the reason I am so obsessed with my health and fitness is because I don't want to look like these people.
I see these people everyday, especially the huge ones in the supermarket with their shopping trollies filled to the brim with all kinds of unhealthy stuff and even though I do feel sorry for these people I can't help feeling so proud of myself that I now look like I do...... do other people find that 'people watching' also helps to keep them on track as I swear this works for me. :bigsmile:

Replies

  • Navie42
    Navie42 Posts: 152
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    No. Those other people could be people who are just beginning their weight loss journeys, or maybe don't know where to begin because they feel like it's an impossible goal, or maybe are so mentally burdened with their weight that it took all their strength to walk out of the house that morning, all the while convincing themselves other people are too busy living their own lives to judge them as a means to suppress the fear they have of being out in public. For the latter, you are only reinforcing those fears that people ARE looking and ARE judging.

    No, I think it best to celebrate your own successes as separate from everyone else, it's a healthier attitude.
  • SarahLovesCheesecake
    SarahLovesCheesecake Posts: 520
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    Go for it, its their choice and you made the good ones \o/ :laugh:
  • david081
    david081 Posts: 489 Member
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    Feel smug and be happy you made the effort to climb out of the fat pool - yes they MAY just be starting their diets, but with a trolley full of garbage I doubt it... Changing your lifestyle to get fit and healthy is a big committment, and many seem happy to just die 20 years sooner and eat what they like... BE SMUG!

    regards, David
  • ragdoll7
    ragdoll7 Posts: 4
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    Thanks Navie...on reflection I know you are absolutely right...I fear I may have been too premature in sharing my thoughts on this occasion and apologise if I have caused any offence.
    By the way...you do look pretty scary... I wouldn't want to meet you in dark alley!!!!
  • JenniferH81
    JenniferH81 Posts: 285 Member
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    Be proud of yourself, always. But there's no reason to judge others for any reason.
  • carrie_lebel
    carrie_lebel Posts: 135
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    I don't care what people say but we all judge people. It is human nature. No one is perfect! Once I started getting healthier I got a more holier than now attitude as well. Just keep it in your head and nobody gets hurt. If it works for you than it works for you. Yes it is ok to be SMUG. You earned it.
  • flausa
    flausa Posts: 534 Member
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    Proud of your own success - yes! Looking down on other people because they haven't done it - way uncool. You may have made a positive, healthy change in your life, but this doesn't make you better than anyone else. Try taking those smug and holier than thou attitudes and turn them in encouraging and motivating power for others on the journey. Rather than smirking at folks who haven't done it yet, encourage them that they can do it too.
  • Navie42
    Navie42 Posts: 152
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    Thanks Navie...on reflection I know you are absolutely right...I fear I may have been too premature in sharing my thoughts on this occasion and apologise if I have caused any offence.
    By the way...you do look pretty scary... I wouldn't want to meet you in dark alley!!!!

    It's the Dark Side, people fear it ^_^
  • TheGoktor
    TheGoktor Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Proud of your own success - yes! Looking down on other people because they haven't done it - way uncool. You may have made a positive, healthy change in your life, but this doesn't make you better than anyone else. Try taking those smug and holier than thou attitudes and turn them in encouraging and motivating power for others on the journey. Rather than smirking at folks who haven't done it yet, encourage them that they can do it too.

    Well said!

    I suspect though, that Ragdoll didn't necessarily mean she looks down on others - just that she's in still that evangelising, honeymoon period where being proud of her achievements goes hand in hand with wish wishing other people could discover how great it is to take charge of one's life and health. :smile:
    It's the Dark Side, people fear it ^_^

    I don't - I invented it! :laugh:
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
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    It's perfectly fine to feel smug. You earned it... Just don't ACT smug.
  • KanCrav
    KanCrav Posts: 439 Member
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    Seeing unhealthy large people always makes me sad. I have never been bigger than 170 (at 5'1) and my weight has never impacted my lifestyle much. But,,,, my family is all very big. And I know they could be eating better and I have tried to get them too, but they wont. However, they all can go about their normal daily activities. So I guess what I am trying to say is, yes i do feel bad for "fat" people. And I DO look at other girls alot and say, wow I cant believe I used to be that big, how did I get that way? But other times I see girls that are bigger than me and look better and are more confident than I am, and I notice that too. Then I think., Well good for her, I hope I can be that confident one day.

    Honestly, EVERYONE judges sometimes. I think it just happens. No, most of us dont mean it. And there are alot of people who dont show it or noticing differences in ppl doesnt bother then. But everyone sees differences and I dont think you should be cursed for being honest.

    I agree with Jules, you can think whatever you want. No one else will know. The only thing that matters is that you feel good about yourself and you treat others the way you would like to be treated.

    COngrats on the weight loss so far!~!~
  • pannacottayum
    pannacottayum Posts: 96 Member
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    I applaud the OP for her honesty and for the achievements in weight loss, kudos to you! To answer your post, no, it is not okay to feel smug. I mean, i agree it's human nature to judge others. But to accept that you are doing it, or to adopt it as a strategy for motivation is plain wrong. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, but an improved sense of self should not require undercutting other people.

    Furthermore, the idea that it's okay to think it as long as you don't act on it is a misguided notion. When you think one way and act another, it's called hypocrisy.

    Sorry for being preachy, but hello, were asking if it's okay to judge fat people in the forum of a weight loss website. C'mon guys.
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
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    Great. This tells me that I am one of those people that others look at and say "Thank God I don't look like her"......:cry:
  • leshagen
    leshagen Posts: 36
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    I applaud the OP for her honesty and for the achievements in weight loss, kudos to you! To answer your post, no, it is not okay to feel smug. I mean, i agree it's human nature to judge others. But to accept that you are doing it, or to adopt it as a strategy for motivation is plain wrong. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, but an improved sense of self should not require undercutting other people.

    Furthermore, the idea that it's okay to think it as long as you don't act on it is a misguided notion. When you think one way and act another, it's called hypocrisy.

    Sorry for being preachy, but hello, were asking if it's okay to judge fat people in the forum of a weight loss website. C'mon guys.

    well said my friend!

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