Help with preteen daughter

Don't bring junk food into the house, even if you didn't start earlier it's never too late. Buy fruits,cut up veggies,nuts,skinny pop popcorn. When you want ice cream go out for a single scoop don't buy a gallon for the house, when you want chips buy a single serving bag don't bring a mega bag home... Not saying that you buy junk I'm just letting you know what works in my house.

When we do eat junk it's after school once a week, we go skating or some sort of physical activity then we go out for a single scoop.

Cook with her! Let her search the Internet for healthy versions of her favorite meals and you 2 can cook them together.

Do physical activities together, walk after dinner,go skating or swimming.

And finally You can do it, but at her age you both have to make small changes together.

If he has an interest in it, have her assist with planning, shopping, prepping, cooking. Maybe she will find foods she likes to cook. Do some walking or other physical activity together if it suits her.
If not, leave her a lone about food. Find other mother-daugher things to do. She needs the connection to you more than she needs to learn about food.

My mother struggled with her weight my entire childhood. That being said, I've never had issues with being overweight (I use MFP just as a diary to keep track of things)...so here is my experience:

I *did* notice my mother's weight go up and down throughout the years. When I was little it didn't mean much, as I got older I tried to be more encouraging about it. She would go down 20, gain it back, lose 15, gain 10, etc, for a long time. But despite her own diet issues she never tried to force or change anything on my sister and me as far as our diets went. She cooked dinner every night, put a plate in front of us, and that was it. We didn't have any odd rules about clearing our plates, eating all our veggies, etc, BUT there was the idea that if you didn't like what she cooked, you were on your own for food haha. She wasn't about special treatment unless we were sick.

We had treats, sometimes. They were "out of reach" or off limits by the kids unless asked permission. So if I wanted ice cream at night, I had to ask, and then it was just a small dish. Ice cream was probably the only dessert thing in the house anyway, we never ate cookies and stuff. Once I was in middle school and older though it became more of MY choice as to whether or not I wanted those foods. But at that point I had already been raised to only have small amounts of sweets at night, and I just kind of stuck with it.

We both grew up playing sports and running around the neighborhood with the other kids. When kids are young I think it's best to encourage a lot of play and fun while doing small doses of nutritional advice. Your 6 year old doesn't need to know much about calories or carbs - but she can learn to have nutritious fruits and vegetables every day, and help you in the kitchen. I LOVED cooking with my mother, and to this day I thank her for all my kitchen knowledge. So does my boyfriend, hah!

Someone else said above and I agree, don't use food as reward or punishment. My mother didn't place any emphasis on food unless it was a special occasion. It was just, well, food!

For what it's worth, nowadays my mother is at a healthy weight. She finally started doing cardio in addition to dieting about 10 years ago now and stopped yo-yoing up and down. And she started jogging because of my sister, who encouraged her to do the couch to 5k program...so I guess it came full circle, kids ended up helping her out! Hah.

I am a daughter of a mother who was always concerned about my weight. She confessed that she didn't want me to be humiliated by others. Although her comments to me were thought to not be humiliating they were. The best thing I think you can do is try going on a lifestyle change together. That is something my mom always did and it worked. We tried various diets. The one that finally worked for me was the south beach diet. Don't over do it though. I drank slim fast when I was 10 years old, and now studying to be a dietitian I realize that was a huge mistake on my mom. Teens are still growing and if they eat healthier and exercise they will stretch out. Never be so focused on her weight to her, because it can cause self esteem issues. I still have to tell my mom to not ask me how much I weigh and to join weight watchers with her.

SLLRunner wrote: »

smr09012 wrote: »

I was one of those chunky pre-teens whose mother tried to control what I ate, so I was a sneaky eater. Chips, snack cakes, soda, candy bars... then graduated into pizza and fast food as a teenager. There were days I'd have dinner at a friend's house, then go home and have a second dinner.

I was a sneaky eater too. Our next door neighbor made the best chocolate chip cookies in the world!

My best friend's mom always bought the big muffins from Costco.

At that age I was "chunky" too. Ate like food was going out of style. My parents would tease and call me the "human disposal". They weren't expecting what was to happen next. Then I grew 10" in a year. I'm now, at 36, 5'11. The only think you can do with kids at that age is to teach them portion size and provide healthy options and get more activity in (Family walks, pick up Bball games, etc)

Another thing you shouldn't do is stress too much about your weight around her. Growing up my Mom was always on a diet. ALWAYS. All of them. Still is to this day - but I think this time she's finally figured it out (she's doing MFP too). But never once put that stress on me.

I didn't start to put on weight after that time until my 30's when my metabolism caught up with me. I've never been heavy, at my heaviest I was a 26 BMI. But I was never a skinny person, I've always loved food. I still love food, eating big portions and not being that active, but I figured out if I want to be healthy I need to do things (like an adult) and deal with it.