Feeling hopeless about my body

Well for starters, way to go on the weight loss that's freakin awesome! 140 pounds is a lot! U should be proud of losing that amount of weight. Second, don't beat yourself up so much sweetie. Be proud of who you are. Don't focus so much on how you look. You are going to college, making something of yourself. And stretch marks? I had stretch marks before I ever even had kids! And after havin kids, well that's just something that comes along with the miracle
of blessing of giving a life! Small price to pay for the best things in life. Carrying a child is such a blessing and if your man can't figure that out then a he's no man at all! Women have the ability to carry and grow a child inside them. I mean how freakin awesome is that! I can tell you though, if you feel horrible about yourself, that dream of having a husband and kids will never come true. You have to have some confidence in yourself and some man will come along and see that confidence and will want to be with you. But if you continue to have a negative vibe, it's going to show and that's not good. Think positive about yourself, and not just how you look. Your obviously smart, strong, and have goals. A persons weight or "lose skin" as u say, does not define who we are. Not a lot of us can afford high prices for surgery but don't let that cause u to lose hope. Don't freak out! Skin is a living organ and it will slowly return to a shape that fits your new body. The process takes a long time so in the meantime you can do a few things. No smoking, no excessive sun exposure, stay hydrated, and have good nutrition. Take care of your skin too! Daily exfoliation can help remove dead skin cells and increase skin circulation. Hot baths with sea salt and minerals can improve skin tone. There are also skin tightening creams with herbal formulas and ingredients including soy protein, aloe vera, vitamin a,c & e. No tanning booths! Stay away from harsh detergents, shampoos ect. They can decrease skin elasticity. Now I get that skin can only be stretched so far before it looses the ability to snap back but sometimes after surgery, people tend to gain more fat afterwards, while they were rehabilitating from surgery! So be cautious of that. Don't stress yourself about your skin. Focus more on things you do have control of like eating right and exercising. You will feel much better if u do this! Build some muscle to help eliminate lose skin. You can also look into supplements that improve skin elasticity. I highly recommend looking into natural solutions before going under the knife! After hearing how much u said surgery was, natural solutions would
be cheaper good luck with everything and remember, your beautiful!!!

You're doing what it takes to heal your body now, not ruin it. You've done an amazing job of that. If you could do it, I think you have what it takes to achieve anything you want.

If I felt the way you feel, I think I'd try to find a way to get that surgery sooner than later. Even if it involved a bit of debt. That's controversial, ok. But we value different things, right. Some people would take out a loan for a car. Your self-esteem is worth more than a car.

Maybe instead of 10 years, you could wait 3-4 years and see what you can do with a mix of savings and loans, one surgery at a time? To do that though, you need to finish that degree, and to be moving towards a reasonably well-paid career. Any chance you could use this as motivation to drive your academic and career efforts?

But also - is there no way to get around the insurance company issue? Just found this; one comment there suggests if there's a medical reason, it might be possible. (I remember seeing a thread in the General forum where one poster's doctor offered to strongly support her odds of getting surgery, that can happen, too. Maybe you could try to find a new doctor?)

bea_4005 wrote: »

My body is honestly shocking. A body of a 20 year old should not look like this, I'm very depressed. I'm too young for this. I should be happy.

I understand the impulse to think this way, but really encourage you to fight it. Try not think about what you "should" be experiencing now. None of us can do anything about our histories, we can only accept them. What we can do is focus on next steps.

bea_4005 wrote: »

I've always had a dream of having a big family when I grow up. Getting married and having a great husband and several kids. I've basically given up that dream because I will never feel comfortable getting intimate with a man. I feel as if my future is ruined because of my body. I feel like I've ruined my body. People say stop being so depressed, but when you're going through this at such a young age, how do you not feel depressed about it? When you only get one body in life and you feel like you've totally ruined it, how do you not feel depressed?

You've saved yourself from a lifetime of health problems. You need to celebrate your huge victory for your future, not agonize over what has passed.

By coming to grips with your weight and fitness you've prepared your body for a long and healthy life. What man interested in having a family would find that unappealing? Such a man wants his wife to live a long and healthy life for him and for their children. Believe it.

Have you sought out counselling help? Professional help here could really help you embrace the positive changes you've made and move on from being depressed. Ultimately it will be depression that keeps the right man away from you, not your body. Your college probably has a student health centre where you can get a referral for help. Reach out and take that help.

Think about which surgery might be the most beneficial for you and perhaps consider financing that. Depending on how much research you're willing to do, the surgeries could be cheaper abroad. Just want to make sure you select a reputable site and don't do anything stupid

Other than that, some skin elasticity can return, it just takes time for it to happen. Short term you can focus on clothing and supportive underwear where you can at least feel comfortable clothed, while you work towards accepting your body. As mentioned above, one strategy is to focus on all the amazing things your body can do, rather than what it looks like right now