Was I rude? :(

xdannigirl
xdannigirl Posts: 32 Member
edited September 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
I went to my boyfriend's Final Parade for cadets a couple weeks ago and met his mom there. After the parade there was food (brownies, cookies, cupcakes, fruit) and drinks (juice and coffee). Since starting my weight loss I haven't really been drinking juice very often. Going through the line with my bf's mom, I picked up a brownie (1 square inch piece), a few crackers, and one other thing (I don't remember what it was, lol). When we got to the drinks, she asked if I wanted some juice after getting some herself. I thought about it for a moment, and then decided no. She asked me why I didn't want any and I just said that I wasn't thirsty and I really only drink milk, water, and some diet soda once in a while. I was being completely honest, as I don't like to drink juice when I don't know what kind it is (and even still, I haven't drank more than a little bit of juice in a long time, regardless of the kind). The most common juice at large functions is fruit punch, which makes me sick to my stomach for some reason...and this looked like it could have been fruit punch. Had I known there was going to be food/drinks, I would have thought more about a reason as to why I didn't want very much (as she's seen me eat before I started really trying to lose weight)...but as I didn't know, I wasn't prepared (and I don't work well under pressure).

So was I rude by refusing a cup of juice? I tried to do it as politely as I could, but she has a tendency to blow things out of proportion, and I'm not sure if I handled it in the correct way as to avoid being rude at all. Also, I've heard that refusing food/drink is less rude than asking why someone doesn't want any. Is that true? One more thing...can you help me figure out a way to avoid being rude the next time I'm in this sort of situation? I'm really not a rude person, and I'd hate for anyone who was watching to think I am.

Thanks guys! <3

Replies

  • wonnder1
    wonnder1 Posts: 460
    Wow...2nd topic on this tonight.

    Times have changed, in the 60s it would have been rude. Now, everyone knows someone who is on a diet. A couple options...say juice is too acidic, and makes you ill. If she pushes, tell her EXACTLY how sick! (Kidding, but juice makes me very ill) Or, just say you feel like water, or milk.
  • kittyloo123
    kittyloo123 Posts: 300 Member
    why would it be rude to just say "no, thanks"? Am i missing something?
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    I don't think it was rude. Rude would have been ranting about how it's bad for everyone or something ... but politely declining, and offering a simple honest answer when pressed, I would not call rude.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I think if the mom made it herself she could see it as rude but since it was a public event with catered food, I can't see how someone would think it was rude. It was nice of her to ofter but you don't have to accept just because of that. If this ever happens to you again, and sometimes says, "Hey, do you want a glass of juice?" I would just say "No thanks, I think I'll have a water/diet pop" or "I''m not thirsty, but thanks." I just think the "thanks" is the most important part of it.
  • TheGoblinRoad
    TheGoblinRoad Posts: 835 Member
    People ask why?

    No one ever asks me why I don't want something.

    Usually I just say "No thanks, not in the mood." to whatever it is. No one asks more info nor do I get funny looks.
  • jwd28
    jwd28 Posts: 765
    My opinion: If you're offered something you don't want, a simple "no thank you" is the way to go. I don't think its rude at all.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    Are you SERIOUSLY losing sleep over some stinking juice? For real? :noway:

    Girl... get over it. I doubt your boyfriend's mom is sitting at her house deliberating over the "juice incident."

    It will be ok... promise! :drinker:
  • xdannigirl
    xdannigirl Posts: 32 Member
    Normally I wouldn't be questioning it, but after reading the other question about this I got to thinking about the last time I refused food at a similar function...And I was like "OMG. I hope I wasn't rude!"

    I also wouldn't have asked if it weren't for the insanely dirty look she gave me. I was like "woah. I think that came out WAY wrong!"

    I don't have very much experience dealing with those situations as in the past I've never been on a diet so I've just grabbed like a brownie, some fruit, a cookie, and a cup of juice or pop and never thought anything of it.
  • Adrianamdelacruz
    Adrianamdelacruz Posts: 67
    why would it be rude to just say "no, thanks"? Am i missing something?

    My thoughts exactly..
  • xdannigirl
    xdannigirl Posts: 32 Member
    Hahaha that's the thing though...she's that type of person to go home and be like "omg that girl is so rude!" for the next month. My boyfriend got banned from a grocery store for "stealing" a bottle of water (that he had actually brought from home, not the store) and a pack of batteries (that he was on his way to pay for) last year, and she's still like "YEAH WELL REMEMBER WHEN...?"

    She also doesn't think twice about making a scene in front of guests, like at their Christmas party my bf spilled some juice by accident because he tripped on a rug and she totally tore a strip off him in front of a bunch of family friends and me, and she came home in the middle of our Valentine's date (dinner and a "movie", all at his house) and demanded that he take me home right away. Apparently she was PMSing and was just in a bad mood overall. She honestly had me in tears after I left, because she'd started yelling at the both of us because I was there "late" (it was 8:45 and she'd said I could stay till 9)!
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