after you loose it all

Everyone is different, so there's really no way to know until you get there. I know that skin can take awhile to stretch down as well as it will -- maybe two years? And if you lose the weight too quickly, that puts you at higher risk for sagging skin. And stretch marks fade, but never go away (and almost everyone has them).

A solid strength training program, preferably, if you can swing it, heavy lifting, will probably get you closer to your goals. (You can look into Strong Lifts, New Rules of Lifting for Women, Strong Curves, etc.)

Also, pregnancy and aging and just being human means that our bodies change. You can work hard to shape it, but you'll probably also want to work hard to love it, because absolutely no one gets perfection. Focus on what your body can do (and has done -- create three humans!) and not solely on how it looks. Focus on health and fitness and not just aesthetics. Don't compare to others, especially not 15 year old models (who are photoshopped -- even many 15 year old models probably have cellulite and stretch marks and little areas that hold more fat). That sort of thing. It is common for people to expect a certain weight to magically make them happy, make them love themselves, bring them comfort in their own bodies -- and it can help improve this, but ultimately, that's emotional work you have to do alongside the lifestyle changes. The body change alone won't get it for you, and not every change you want will be possible for you, so self-acceptance is important.

I have lost over 50lbs and my stretch marks from pregnancy are still there...will my skin ever go back...probably not but that to me is irrelevant.

I bore my child and will wear that evidence of it with pride....my sister has a flat belly after having her son...until she does planks...so she just doesn't look at it when she planks...we have children...it is what it is.

There is a reason why we wear clothes.

Focus on losing the weight. Don't worry about things that may or may not happen. The bottom line, a bit of hanging skin is still better than being obese.

shadow2soul wrote: »

As the others have said there really isn't any way to know until you get there.

This is my stomach after 2 kids and I was 260 lbs after my first was born:


It's not perfect and there's still room for improvement, but overall I'm relatively happy with it.

thanks for sharing! i believe that is exactly how mine will be. i still have 15lbs to go. don't know if i will ever have the confidence to wear a bikini but i think u look great

SezxyStef wrote: »

TimothyFish wrote: »

There is a reason why we wear clothes.

so you are saying you wouldn't want to see the mother of your children naked after she had them? hmmmm

what about bikinis...are you opposed to mom's wearing them?

oh belly shirts are in we can't wear those either...?

what about nudist beaches?

bath tubs? showers?

If you really want my opinion (and I doubt you do), how a woman dresses for her husband is between her and her husband. But a man with eyes for one woman isn't going to compare his wife to other women. As for how she how she dresses out in public, she should be self respecting enough to dress with class, not like a stripper who is trying to draw the attention of men. If men aren't making eye contact when she walks into a room and are instead looking at something else--her midsection, her breasts, or the potted plant across the room--she should ask her husband what she needs to cover up, because there is, most certainly, something that she needs to hide.

MrM27 wrote: »

TimothyFish wrote: »

SezxyStef wrote: »

TimothyFish wrote: »

There is a reason why we wear clothes.

so you are saying you wouldn't want to see the mother of your children naked after she had them? hmmmm

what about bikinis...are you opposed to mom's wearing them?

oh belly shirts are in we can't wear those either...?

what about nudist beaches?

bath tubs? showers?

If you really want my opinion (and I doubt you do), how a woman dresses for her husband is between her and her husband. But a man with eyes for one woman isn't going to compare his wife to other women. As for how she how she dresses out in public, she should be self respecting enough to dress with class, not like a stripper who is trying to draw the attention of men. If men aren't making eye contact when she walks into a room and are instead looking at something else--her midsection, her breasts, or the potted plant across the room--she should ask her husband what she needs to cover up, because there is, most certainly, something that she needs to hide.

It's amazing you how a constantly writing things on here as if you were everyone's representative. People are going to look at whatever the want. A woman could be wearing a turtle neck and some men will still be looking. A single piece of clothes doesn't determine if a woman has respect for herself. On the opposite end, you know I think is a woman having respect for herself? Being able to make decisions as an adult as far as what she does and how she dressing without having to ask her husband what she needs to do like you suggested.

You don't speak for how all men act and think. You are by far anywhere near being qualified for that position.

i appreciate your response greatly mrm. sometimes if it comes from another man it gets through to some people more. a woman can wear whatever she feels best in and doesn't need to ask her husband if its 'ok'.

After three children, a single and set of twins, I lost 80lbs. I looked great in clothes. I had fun with clothes I never thought I could wear. Not "sexy" or "reveling", but fun and modern.

I did stick to bathing suits that covered my midsection, but still felt, and looked if I can say, pretty good. Yes, I had some sag in my legs, but you know, I'm a 47 year old mom. I don't care if men look at me in a bathing suit. I care that I had enough energy to keep up with my kids and felt great doing it.