Little victories...

I started my weight loss journey in mid-April at 315 pounds (the highest I have ever been). I lost 10 pounds in the first 11 days. Then I went to Disney. Lol. I did not gain a single pound while I was on vacation but I also didn't lose anything (I was eating too few calories for the amount of walking that I was doing). When I got back from vacation I was too tired to bother with groceries. This lead to some unhealthy eating for about a week. After that week I went back up to 308. That was last week. This morning I weighed in at 300.

When I started this I set my first goal and made sure that it wasn't anything huge so that I wouldn't lose motivation easily. I set a goal to get out of the 300 club. I almost cried this morning when I saw that I am just .8 pounds away from hitting my first goal.

I have tried since I was a teenager to lose weight. It has never worked and I just kept gaining and gaining but didn't know why. Eventually I gave up on caring after I was diagnosed with PCOS because it seemed hopeless. I went from 175 in 2006 (the weight I was just after I had my son) to my highest at 315 last month in 2015. Most of that weight was gained in the first two years or so and just never went down.

In 2009 my husband left. He moved out and we were on again off again until he found someone else, then when they left he would come running back. I was emotionally spent from the divorce and allowed myself to engage in this behavior. He remarried in 2013 and I went out of control with junk food binges. I was so depressed and kept telling myself that his marriage to her was working better (or so I thought from the outside) than ours ever did and it was all my fault because I was fat and he left because of that.

Finally in April I told his *kitten* off. I was done with him stringing me along and talking to me only when it was convenient for him. I was done being depressed over a relationship that was crappy from the start. It was time to focus on my son and I and get him out of my life as much as possible. I have cut almost all communication with him with the exception of emails about our son. As soon as I snapped I realized that I needed to take care of myself and get back to being the happy person that I was before I ever met him.

So in this very long-winded post I guess what I am trying to say is that tomorrow or the day after I have a feeling I will be celebrating my first goal being met. I will be celebrating my independence. I will be celebrating finally feeling like myself and being truly happy with my life. I will be celebrating being out of the 300 club forever.

Little victories.