Does it ever irritate you...
ChipChocolatePancake
Posts: 77 Member
that people are so congratulatory and happy for you when you work out, but they are exasperated or annoyed when you say you're on a diet?
I don't know if this happens to everyone, but it happens to me quite a bit. For instance I was jogging on a trail near my house the other day, and some stranger was jogging towards me, and right before we passed each other he stopped (causing me to also stop because he was obviously about to say something), and said "wow, congratulations! Keep up the good work!" As though seeing a fat person jogging was so out of the ordinary for him that he felt he had to interrupt my workout to tell me how awesome and inspiring I was.
This is a trend for me. I get major kudos for exercising from family, friends, neighbors, and strangers.
When I'm out with friends or family and I request that we go to a restaurant that has some healthier options, or if I order a salad, or even mention that I need to keep an eye on my caloric intake, I get eye rolls and comments like "Come on, you can take a break for ONE meal."
WHAT GIVES???? Either you're happy that I'm making an effort to lose weight, or you're not! Why is exercise admirable, but dieting is hushed up and criticized???
I don't know if this happens to everyone, but it happens to me quite a bit. For instance I was jogging on a trail near my house the other day, and some stranger was jogging towards me, and right before we passed each other he stopped (causing me to also stop because he was obviously about to say something), and said "wow, congratulations! Keep up the good work!" As though seeing a fat person jogging was so out of the ordinary for him that he felt he had to interrupt my workout to tell me how awesome and inspiring I was.
This is a trend for me. I get major kudos for exercising from family, friends, neighbors, and strangers.
When I'm out with friends or family and I request that we go to a restaurant that has some healthier options, or if I order a salad, or even mention that I need to keep an eye on my caloric intake, I get eye rolls and comments like "Come on, you can take a break for ONE meal."
WHAT GIVES???? Either you're happy that I'm making an effort to lose weight, or you're not! Why is exercise admirable, but dieting is hushed up and criticized???
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Replies
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My theory on this is that they won't feel as guilty eating whatever they want if you're doing it too.0
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I think their response over your choice in restaurants impacts them personally. Maybe they are craving whatever that restaurant serves and you're raining on their parade. Some (many?most?) people are very supportive until it encroaches on their wants.
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I agree. I am kind of shameful saying I am trying to eat better because I am still fat. I am losing but not enough where people notice by my scrubs are getting looser!0
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I find that people usually don't give a hoot if I don't draw attention to my diet and exercising. People don't care as much as you think they do. And if they do, just smile and nod.0
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People have expectations about how a social event will go, and that includes the idea that people will relax and enjoy themselves. When they hear that someone is on a diet and isn't going to just eat whatever, it messes with how they envisioned the event going.
As for the guy who was out jogging. It sounds a little creepy to me. Either that, or what he really wanted to do was ask for your phone number.0 -
Same here.
We go out to eat 3+ times a week. There are very few places where I can't find food to fit my plan and that's mostly because of my food preferences and not calorie issues. And I've never had somebody give me an actual hard time about anything I've ordered. One time my coworkers thought it was funny when I ordered just meatballs and no pasta but it was just normal joking around, not derision.0 -
Most people don't understand. They could think since you are exercising you can afford to eat whatever you want. Also, food is very social and people have strong feelings toward food because they don't think of it as numbers (calories), but as something that makes them feel good.
They could also feel like what they are eating isn't good enough for you or you think it's bad of them to eat it - you can't change those feelings if they feel that way, they shouldn't be putting that much thought into what YOU'RE eating.
Just keep doing what you're doing. They'll get over it and you'll get over it.
People used to comment on my change of eating habits (I used to eat A LOT of everything), but now it's nothing to mention, it's common, normal. I think it was more shock of me not ordering the biggest meal on the menu and devouring it in one sitting. It's change, people are weary of change. Don't invest too many feelings about it.
What I find funny is when people notice I've lost weight and they get excited about it then ask me how. When I tell them diet (not a fad diet but calories in/out) and exercise they get disappointed. haha! They all wish for a quick fix without any effort.0 -
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Friends and family can often sabotage diet efforts in that way - 'just a little bite', they coax, or 'what can it hurt, just this one time?' I've read about it before and have heard it cautioned to be aware of the danger, so it's not just you! Maybe they're afraid that if you change, it will upset the balance of your relationship? Who knows...
I'd just tell them you've got to do what you've got to do, that it's part of your work out plan. And if they won't respect that, then ask them if they'd offer someone trying to quite smoking a cigarette, and how well they think that would work.0 -
Oh yeah, I get that kind of thing all the time. I just shake it off. I usually just give some type of non-defensive but also non confrontational reply. "I can take a break, but I'm not." "I eat what I want, thanks."
If they really push it, I'll get a little more stern. "You get to choose what I eat, only if I get to pick your meal" or maybe "If I wanted your opinion on what I should eat, don't you think I would have asked?".0 -
A lot of great points here! I do know that food is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people. Even when I'm not affecting their food decisions, I may be making them feel guilty just by eating a salad. I guess also for exercise there is a component of physical achievement that has nothing to do with losing weight. So people are not just complimenting the calories I'm burning, but the strength I'm gaining/demonstrating.
Sorry for the venting session, I was just frustrated about getting chastised for dieting
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If someone complements me on my fitness and getting out there and crushing it I say thanks and take the complement. If someone gives me crap about my food choices I just give 'em a little flex. But really, at this point having been at this for going on three years, my friends and family know what's up...they know I kick *kitten* and take names and they only wish they could kick as much *kitten* as I do...sadly, they lack the discipline.0
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I would love if I fitty stopped me from jogging to tell me I was doin good
I don't get the eye rolls when we are out and I order healthy but I do get opioins on what I should eat that annoys me a bit 0 -
First of all, I never use the word diet! It has all sorts of negative connotations with me (and with others). Instead, I tell people I am following a new eating plan. Second, I remember getting the eye-rolling at first when eating out and finally I had enough. I just told the person that they could do what they wanted to do but me? I plan to succeed in losing weight so I am doing what I need to do! What the heck are they going to come back with? Not much ...
I discovered that when you are on a weight loss journey, you have to stiffen your spine a bit and develop a thick skin for those people that don't have a filter!0 -
ChipChocolatePancake wrote: »that people are so congratulatory and happy for you when you work out, but they are exasperated or annoyed when you say you're on a diet?
I don't know if this happens to everyone, but it happens to me quite a bit. For instance I was jogging on a trail near my house the other day, and some stranger was jogging towards me, and right before we passed each other he stopped (causing me to also stop because he was obviously about to say something), and said "wow, congratulations! Keep up the good work!" As though seeing a fat person jogging was so out of the ordinary for him that he felt he had to interrupt my workout to tell me how awesome and inspiring I was.
This is a trend for me. I get major kudos for exercising from family, friends, neighbors, and strangers.
When I'm out with friends or family and I request that we go to a restaurant that has some healthier options, or if I order a salad, or even mention that I need to keep an eye on my caloric intake, I get eye rolls and comments like "Come on, you can take a break for ONE meal."
WHAT GIVES???? Either you're happy that I'm making an effort to lose weight, or you're not! Why is exercise admirable, but dieting is hushed up and criticized???
Ha, if someone stopped me while I was out walking I would have sprayed him with my pepper spray
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I get what you're saying, and I agree. But I'll tell you, although the comments about my food choices are annoying, it really irritates me when people go overboard complimenting my workouts or running. It feels really condescending to me, and no, it shouldn't feel that way. Probably much more my issue than theirs!!0
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I made a really big boo-boo among my co-workers recently.
I dared to mention that I was trying to lose the 30lbs I put on from quitting smoking.
My 5 co-workers are all obese....2 of them are morbidly obese.
I really didn't make it as a statement on their weight/body image.....I just said it in relation to why I wasn't eating the treats they bring in all the time.
None of them seem too happy with me.....0 -
Probably because they see you making healthier choices and it makes them feel guilty. It's usually a jealousy thing or they feel uneasy about themselves. I don't broadcast my weight loss or goals to anyone either, but I have gone out with coworkers that question why I order a salad. I just tell them that's what sounded good to me.0
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ChipChocolatePancake wrote: »that people are so congratulatory and happy for you when you work out, but they are exasperated or annoyed when you say you're on a diet?
I don't know if this happens to everyone, but it happens to me quite a bit. For instance I was jogging on a trail near my house the other day, and some stranger was jogging towards me, and right before we passed each other he stopped (causing me to also stop because he was obviously about to say something), and said "wow, congratulations! Keep up the good work!" As though seeing a fat person jogging was so out of the ordinary for him that he felt he had to interrupt my workout to tell me how awesome and inspiring I was.
This is a trend for me. I get major kudos for exercising from family, friends, neighbors, and strangers.
When I'm out with friends or family and I request that we go to a restaurant that has some healthier options, or if I order a salad, or even mention that I need to keep an eye on my caloric intake, I get eye rolls and comments like "Come on, you can take a break for ONE meal."
WHAT GIVES???? Either you're happy that I'm making an effort to lose weight, or you're not! Why is exercise admirable, but dieting is hushed up and criticized???
That's great people give you compliments when you exercise. I get them too and I'm a healthy weight, so such compliments have nothing to do with being fat.
As for the rest, stop discussing your diet with others. If you want to suggest a certain restaurant, do so, but don't explain. If there's a certain meal you want, order it but don't explain. Take ownership of your own diet and how you choose to eat. 0 -
I find that people usually don't give a hoot if I don't draw attention to my diet and exercising. People don't care as much as you think they do. And if they do, just smile and nod.
that....
ive never had anyone comment on anything i eat..... whether its a salad or a big fat hamburger....0 -
My theory on this is that they won't feel as guilty eating whatever they want if you're doing it too.
I think this is what it is. They don't want to be the only person getting a dessert or drink. Or they want something that would normally be shared. I have a friend who always wants people to get an appetizer for the table or some such.
You get used to saying no and not feeling like it's a big deal, and a lot of times it's just an adjustment period since they were used to your old ways.0 -
YESSSSS! Ticks me off big time! I also get this a lot:
How have you lost so much weight, what are you taking?
Are you starving yourself??
Someone at work offered me one of their fries & them immediately said oh yeah, I forgot you don't eat.
This drives me crazy. I don't starve myself & I eat plenty of food. Including fries! I just count what I eat & no I am not taking anything! People just can't comprehend weight loss accomplishment without the help of pills or starving oneself.
Smh!0 -
The 'it's just one meal, come on' thing drives me insane. My mom does it all the time, after pestering me for years to lose weight... Unfortunately not talking about the diet is not always an option, like when people pick a restaurant that doesn't have many healthy options etc (or well, my mom stays with me for a week so obviously it's going to come up etc). In her case it's worse I guess because she's on me all week saying that I need to eat, I'm getting too skinny etc.
Ugh.0 -
Maybe it's because when you're out jogging, you're just DOING IT, not announcing, "I'm jogging because I want/need to get in shape". But when you go out to dinner, instead of just working with whatever's on the menu (and I have yet to find a restaurant that didn't have something I could fit into my plan), you announce, "I need to keep an eye on my calories", making everyone self-conscious about what they're ordering.
Just do what you want without making a big production out of it. There's no need to make people change their plans and go to a restaurant that suits you, or tell everyone that you're looking for low calorie options.0 -
ChipChocolatePancake wrote: »they are exasperated or annoyed when you say you're on a diet
There's your problem. Stop telling people. 9/10 people HATE hearing that, because it makes them feel guilty about any unhealthy choices they may be making in their own diets. It's no one's business but your own anyway, so I'd just keep it to myself. When offered something outside your goals, politely decline and offer no explanation.
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The only comment about diet that's ever really gotten under my skin was one my dad made while I staying in the hospital after getting hit by a car. I asked if he could bring me some cookies from the cafeteria and he told me he was only going to bring one because he wanted to "keep me from getting fat again". I am an adult that can keep track of my own intake.
Otherwise, yeah, most people are more interested in the hours of grueling exercise I "had" to have done.
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