Finally hitting some goals, and the negativity starts coming in

pmg2000m · May 2015

I used to be thin (size 4, 115 lbs) until I was in my 30s, then got a chronic illness that had me bedridden for a while. After several years, and about a 50 pound weight gain at my high point... this year I felt ready to try to lose some weight and get as healthy as possible.

I started working out and using MFP in February, and have lost 18 pounds so far. I'm feeling more energy, and starting to notice definition in my muscles. My goal is not to be where I was in my 20's, but to be actually about 15 pounds heavier than when I was thin. I just want to be strong and feel better again. My body fat percentage is still very high for my size, so I just want to work on improving that. I have no intention or desire to be 115 pounds again. I think I'll hit some nice goals somewhere between 130-135. I'll be 50 this year, and want to feel healthier than ever.

I come from a family of several overweight/obese people, so I had a lifetime of being told that I was "too skinny". Now that I'm feeling great & strong, weighing in at 138 pounds... today someone told me to stop losing weight or I'll look too thin. What the heck?! I'm finally out of the overweight category, and feeling pretty healthy, and I'm already getting criticized. I certainly don't think that 138 is too skinny, and especially with a body fat percentage of 34%.

Ugh... I know I should just ignore them, but it's so frustrating. I feel like they were happier when I was overweight and feeling like crap.

jenncornelsen · May 2015

They probably were happier. They now are noticing theyre own issues as u get healthy. Dont let it get to u. There will always be those who want to drag u down

pmg2000m · May 2015

Thanks Jenn, your first sentence actually made me laugh

It's so truthful! Misery does love company, huh? I'll have to just keep feeling good about where I'm headed, and try to ignore the comments. At least I have a super supportive husband, who is very proud of what I am accomplishing after so many years of dealing with an illness. I think I'll just keep listening to him, and block out the negativity. I just needed to vent.

SherryTeach · May 2015

I didn't lose weight to please other people or to even get them to notice. You do it for yourself.

Psychgrrl · May 2015

When you do something other people dream of doing, it can make them feel like they're failing. Sometimes they even unconsciously sabotage.

Don't argue, it's pointless. It's their problem, not yours and you're not going to convince them. Just smile and nod and know in your mind that you're right about your body and your health and you've taken control and no one's going to take that from you.

You should be proud of yourself! Deep down, they are, too. This "too skinny" comments are how they express it.

pmg2000m · May 2015

SherryTeach wrote: »

I didn't lose weight to please other people or to even get them to notice. You do it for yourself.

I guess that's what was so annoying about the comment... I just sat down at the kitchen table to say hi & have lunch with several people, and they just looked at me and blurted out "you need to stop losing weight before you get too skinny". I just replied that I actually feel pretty strong & healthy, so I'm going to keep doing what feels good to me. Then they had the nerve to ask "you don't think you're too thin?"... so I had to reply again & said "no, I actually just got below the overweight category, and I feel much more energy being in better shape".

pmg2000m · May 2015

Psychgrrl wrote: »

You should be proud of yourself! Deep down, they are, too. This "too skinny" comments are how they express it.

Thanks

arditarose · May 2015

Ugh. I got that at 140 too. I was just into the healthy weight range for my height! Ticked me off but I knew what I was doing, and kept at it.

Sounds like you know what you're doing too and your goals sound great to me.

a_candler · May 2015

I feel ya. I am skinnier than I've been since pre-teen yet body fat % is on high end of healthy I've heard so many neg comments from family. It's disappointing they don't congratulate me, all say "u need to eat more too skinny". I just tell them no it's just you've never seen me this small but def healthy and eating. Most have backed off.

pmg2000m · May 2015

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one who deals with people like this. I do know that I'm doing the right thing for myself, and I'm stronger & healthier. It's just hard to deal with people who are obese, and think that the overweight category is normal... and that normal is too thin.

lds818 · May 2015

I love it when I first started out and said how much I wanted to lose and was told that was too much for my height! How does anyone know what is too much for me! I said I wanted to-doesn't mean I can't stop whenever I feel I want to and maintain. I say just do what you want its your body and don't worry what anyone else thinks

sneaky_teaky · May 2015

I'm not even in the healthy BMI for my height yet and have already been told by a coworker, "Haven't you lost enough yet? You should stop now." I explained I am still 24 lbs away from the top of my healthy BMI range, and that while I have lost more than half what I have aimed for, I still need to continue this for myself.

I say do what you want and need to do for yourself and know that you can not control the thoughts and words of others, just like they can not control you and your success.

mwyvr · May 2015

pgobiel wrote: »

I have a super supportive husband, who is very proud of what I am accomplishing after so many years of dealing with an illness. I think I'll just keep listening to him, and block out the negativity. I just needed to vent.

Your husband is a-ok. Keep him!

While you can't ditch the rest of your family you can at least mentally ditch their comments. If they persist, perhaps you can have a polite but frank discussion about your fitness objectives being yours, not theirs.

DKLI · May 2015

I had a friend say that to me after I had lost 30 pounds, that I should stop losing weight as I had "lost enough". I was still in the middle of the overweight number for my BMI. She had been complaining that she had to lose weight herself and was much thinner than I was at that time. I said something to the effect of "it's ok for you to want to lose weight but not me?" I love her to death but that really annoyed me. Someone at work told me to stop losing weight and I don't even know them very well. My brother's friend told me to not get anorexic. Has he actually seen an anorexic person? Who the 'f' tells someone to stop losing weight?

SunflowerCat74 · May 2015

Ignore them and focus on you. You're at a heathy weight, getting your BMI and BF% down. Focus on the health benefits: increased stamina, more energy, better blood pressure, sleeping better, etc...those are the important things. So, next time someone says something negative you can retort with "Well, my heart attack or diabetes risk is decreased." If you focus on the health aspect of your weight loss when speaking with the nay-sayers it usually shuts them up. Hell, it might even inspire them to get in shape. (Ok, that's a stretch!). Oh and I'm glad you have a supportive husband.

msty112 · May 2015

It's bad that our world is so overweight that we think people of a healthy weight are too thin or have a eating disorder.

Don't worry about other people. Lose weight until you feel good and healthy. You will out live them anyway

Finally hitting some goals, and the negativity starts coming in

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