Kevin Smith on happiness: "There is no end game."

segacs · May 2015

Saw this on Facebook today, posted by the great Kevin Smith. It resonated.

"Life is about the journey, not the destination - so while the idea of happiness sounds great, it’s actually the pursuit of happiness that provides the most contentment. And in that pursuit, we are ultimately at our happiest."

Yep. So much this.

fishshark · May 2015

this is one of the best things I've read in a long time

DaneanP · May 2015

Love it.

ElemenopeeZ · May 2015

HEY! I saw this and shared it on FB too. I love that man.

MarissaPalm · May 2015

Love it. Smith is a very intelligent man. I was unaware he lost all the weight though, interesting and good for him

segacs · May 2015

Yeah, the part that resonated for me was where he said he thought he would magically be happy after losing the weight, but he finds he's not any happier than he was before.

I think that's true for most of us. Weight loss doesn't magically turn you into someone else. It doesn't make you happier, more positive, more talented or better. It doesn't make the people around you love you any more.

I've seen a lot of threads where people say they "can't wait" to be thin / to lose the weight / to reach their goal weight. I've also seen a lot of threads where people feel a sort of letdown once they reach their goal, as in, "now what?" They were expecting bells and whistles and maybe a ticker tape parade, and instead, they're still much the same as they were yesterday.

I think this is so important, because it means that:

1. You don't have to wait until you reach some arbitrary goal weight to do the things you want to do or to be the person you want to be. Start now. There's absolutely nothing you can't do if you set your mind to it. You're not going to be a whole new person. You'll still be you, albeit in a smaller dress size. So just focus on being the best you possible at any size, and lose weight for your health.

2. Once you reach your goal weight, that letdown might come from feeling a bit cut adrift. There's nothing ahead but maintenance, you miss the adrenaline rush of seeing the new lows on the scale at weigh-in time, and maybe you even miss the community support and interaction you've built while on MFP here. So, there's that "now what?" feeling. But since we are most happy when we're pursuing new goal, the answer may well be in setting new goals. Whether they be fitness related (running a marathon, lifting a certain amount of weight, etc.) or something else entirely (traveling, volunteering, having a baby, whatever), we have to keep creating new goals and striving towards new things to stay happy.

walkdmc · May 2015

I'm a big loser too and he's spot on. Being thin is not a guarantee for happiness. Sure, I like to dress and accessorize my thinner body and attend more social events but there's a lot of feeling, "Is this it?".

Wherever you go, there you are. If you were insecure, depressed, unhappily introverted or whatever, while fat, you'll probably feel the same when you're thin.

Unknown · May 2015

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callsitlikeiseeit · May 2015

Dont get me wrong- i love it (and him) and agree wholeheartedly (happiness truly does come from within) but I can tell you I am a WHOLE lot happier 50 pounds lighter, and still have at a MINIMUM another 50 to go. Or maybe its happier with how I look and feel....

But i was happy fat, too, so..... LOLOL

If you are miserable fat, you are likely to be miserable thin, too. Just as money doesnt buy happiness, neither does a smaller jean size.

Orphia · May 2015

Wow. What a beautiful thing. Didn't think I could love Kevin Smith more, but apparently I can. Thanks, segacs!

"Thankfully, human beings are at their happiest when they feel they're at their most productive."

Yep, I know this. When it comes to diet and weight loss, I'm just so happy to be out there walking for at least an hour every day. My lungs are working really well, the endorphins flow, I'm getting healthier every day, feeling happy, and I get to see all the changes in the seasons and can take photos of interesting things and share them with friends for even more enjoyment.

The fact that I'm losing weight is a bonus.

atypicalsmith · May 2015

I am very much happier after losing 26 pounds. Still 34 to go. I like that I can cross my legs now. I like that I can tie my shoes. I'm looking forward to a lot more. I am miserable being fat, as I was a size 4 all my life until I quit smoking eleven years ago and eventually gained sixty pounds. It's going to happen this time. Meanwhile, I don't feel good about myself at all. Every time I accidentally catch a reflection of myself, I cringe. When I am down to my goal weight, and I WILL get there, I may not be any happier but at least I won't cringe when I look at myself.

SLLRunner · May 2015

Excellent and 100% spot on.

bendyourkneekatie · May 2015

The other thing is, this unrealistic expectation of constant happiness. Human brains aren't wired to be constantly happy - nor constantly miserable. Reaching, and accepting, a more 'zen', content, middle ground, with occasional ups and downs, is much more realistic and achievable.

Becoming rich, thin, coupled-up, etc., none of these things will change your general equilibrium to a great degree. And thinking that they will is a recipe for disappointment.

atypicalsmith · May 2015

katem999 wrote: »

The other thing is, this unrealistic expectation of constant happiness. Human brains aren't wired to be constantly happy - nor constantly miserable. Reaching, and accepting, a more 'zen', content, middle ground, with occasional ups and downs, is much more realistic and achievable.

Becoming rich, thin, coupled-up, etc., none of these things will change your general equilibrium to a great degree. And thinking that they will is a recipe for disappointment.

There is no unrealistic expectation of constant happiness. But there is the truth that being fat is unhappy. Who likes it?

EvgeniZyntx · May 2015

Who?
Life philosophies from a crackerjack box (fb)?

(I'm kidding. I know who he is. Stil... Meh)

jingerbird · May 2015

I never heard another person say that before. It's exactly how I feel. I have been over weight all my life and always thought that if I were thin, I would be happy. Not so, apparently. I feel no difference after losing over 100 lbs, it's just easier to go up and down the stairs. Happiness comes in small doses and the bad stuff just reminds us of the joy when happiness comes our way. People seem to thrive in negative situations and struggle to get back to their happy place. I, for one, am not going to give up the fight.

pennydreadful270 · May 2015

atypicalsmith wrote: »

But there is the truth that being fat is unhappy. Who likes it?

Nonsense. Not being happy about being fat is not the same as not being happy while fat. If you spend every minute of your day thinking about your weight and allowing that to dictate your mood I feel sorry for you, but for most people that's not how it goes.

Do I feel any less happy when I complete a project at work, win a game, paint or cook something, because I am fat while I do it? No chance!!

Nony_Mouse · May 2015

Silent Bob got skinny??

samhennings · May 2015

segacs wrote: »

Yeah, the part that resonated for me was where he said he thought he would magically be happy after losing the weight, but he finds he's not any happier than he was before.

I think that's true for most of us. Weight loss doesn't magically turn you into someone else. It doesn't make you happier, more positive, more talented or better. It doesn't make the people around you love you any more.

Weight loss has magically changed me, significantly. As a person, and I am much happier and more positive than I ever was.

Through my weight loss process I learned that I have huge amounts of discipline, which I didnt realise was there.
I now know I can achieve things I put my mind to. This has had such a liberating effect on me and my general outlook is so much more positive.

Since reaching goal weight Ive since moved on to fitness, trying to get myself in the best shape I can. Currently Im as strong as Ive ever been and getting stronger. Im working out 6 days a week, between 5x5 and c25k, and again the discpline to get up every morning and apply myself has been hugely rewarding.

As I type this I am absolutely shattered, and I couldnt be happier. I was in the gym today and for the first time I squatted my own bodyweight - a year ago the thought of such was ridiculous.

I would say, from my own perspective, weight loss has indeed had a magical effect on me.