Is your spouse supportive?

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Mine is very supportive and always congratulates me when I lose a pound and points out where he notices the loss. However he is not dieting. I have 2 problems...

1) I am worried about his health- seriously, I'm worried I'm going to out live him by 30 years or that hes g going to develope diabetes. What can I do? how can I encourage him?

2) he still has chocolate and candies and SODA. I haven't had any soda in about 4 months but I give in and eat the candy sometimes because he offers and reminds me that it's not THAT bad. I'm not blaming him because I should have more self control... But I dont. I've tried asking him not to offer but I think it slips his mind since he was used to me eating so poorly for so long.

Hes such a great guy I would hate if he goty some medical condition.

Replies

  • bluebird321
    bluebird321 Posts: 733 Member
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    I think the best way to encourage him is to continue to be an example. My wife is vegan, so weight isn't an issue for her, but other friends and co-workers have jumped on the bandwagon once they saw how much weight I lost. I'm sure your husband will come around sooner or later.
  • Melbel85
    Melbel85 Posts: 240 Member
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    I have been very lucky! When I decided that I was going on this journey he told me that he was going to do it too! There are some times (like today) where he has slipped up and went well over his calories but I think we have just the right amount of competitiveness! Maybe that is something you could bring up... making it sort of a game! Good luck with your adventures!
  • jolinemariem
    jolinemariem Posts: 462 Member
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    my wife thinks that i am obsessive about this. I dont think i am. i am not in a healthy weight range and i dont want to have any health problems. .
  • paige_mom
    paige_mom Posts: 13
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    That is always a touchy subject----
    I don't have that issue, because my husband is Military, so he has to stay in shape----BUT, he smokes. He has tried to quit a few times, recently. I also know that his job can be a little demanding, so I don't encourage him to quit when things are the most stressful. BUT, for YOU, I would suggest talking about how much you love him, and how you want him to be around (and HEALTHY) for a long time. That you want to grow old EASILY with him. The friendly competition can be nice too.
    Make sure to be positive, and not harp. ---I also have a friend whose husband was very negative about her weight----that is NOT supportive or a good motivator! ;-)
  • K1Teacher
    K1Teacher Posts: 324 Member
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    I have the same issue with my hubby. He's very supportive, but he has very bad eating habits. I don't nag him about it - I just continue to eat in a healthy way and hope that one day he'll decide to do it for himself. I'm not holding my breath, though. :ohwell:
  • MsMe79
    MsMe79 Posts: 54
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    My partner is very supportive. He does not need to lose weight, if anything when we first got together he needed to gain weight, which he has done so.

    He loves me regardless, but he knows I'm unhappy and wants to support me. He doesn't eat anything that I don't eat in front of me,but saying that, I'm not full on, and if he wants something, I don't care.

    I don't think it would be as easy for me without his support, but he supports me in everything in my life, so I'm one lucky lady :smile:
  • momoftheyear
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    My husband is the same way. He doesn't really take care of himself and he refuses to see a doctor even though he has high cholesterol. I try to cook healthy meals and provide plenty of healthy fruits and veggies. I don't buy junk food but he will go get it himself. I also try to tell him what a normal portion size is because he thinks he can eat as much of any healthy food as he wants. Sometimes he gets mad and tells me not to nag him, other times he listens to my advice. He also talls me it's ok to splurge on candy etc. I eventually get mad and tell him I'm trying to do something good for myself and that I don't want the junk.

    I don't really have any suggestions about how to deal with it but I'm in the same situation!
  • NoWeighJose74
    NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
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    Wife and I are both in this together. Some days, we're good. Other days, we falter. But we do it together. lol

    The tough days are when one of us is in a "zone" and wants to be good, but the other's willpower crumbles. Usually results in the weaker one dragging the other down with him/her. Depending on who falters.
  • kateanne27
    kateanne27 Posts: 275 Member
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    my husband is very fit and has an active job, so he doesnt need to lose weight, he is supportive and appreciative that I now make an extra effort to cook healthier meals, and is on board with the no junk in the house rule, we slip sometimes, but the biggest thing is that he thinks I am hot and sexy and beautiful as I am, and tells me multiple times a day, it makes me more confident that I just want to have a healthy weight and lifestyle, so I am not as strict about it all as others might be, I dont have any particular goal weight, I just would like to fit back into some old clothes and not be self concious in a skirt or swim suit. I don't have a scale so I weigh myself when I visit my MIL and use hers at whatever time of day. His support for me not losing weight so much, but just me as I am really makes a difference. He is hoping I dont lose too much of my boob or butt, tho he doesnt say it out loud, but my body will always come with a booty no matter what I do.
  • saadler
    saadler Posts: 116
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    My boyfriend gained a lot of weight after we started dating -- about 25 lbs. A few months ago after going to the doctor he realized just how heavy he was and (after a week or so of moping and whining) eventually decided to join me in weight loss. He uses a different site to count his calories, but does so pretty religiously. He hasn't given up most of the things he eats, he's just much more aware of what and how much he is consuming. We support each other by congratulating each other when we lose weight and by sharing each day how many calories we have left for the evening. The only problem I have is that he loses so much more so much more quickly than me since he is a guy... but that's only a minor frustration and I'm really happy for him.
  • cheshirechic
    cheshirechic Posts: 489 Member
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    My fiance is very supportive, but he doesn't eat super-healthy. I'm hoping to lead by example (which helps some), but I also never buy things to tempt him. I used to buy things like baked potato chips because he really enjoyed them, but I realized that I was just being an enabler. Now we both surprise each other with organic fruit, but he still drinks soda and beer pretty often.

    Do you do most of the grocery shopping? If so, that could be a big help and buy healthy snacks for the two of you.
  • PJS323
    PJS323 Posts: 115
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    The only thing I think you can do is continue to be an example. When i started in Oct '10, my husband was supportive,but he ate junk food all the time. I did the shopping, also the cooking so i started to eliminate junk food one by one. After 6 months. and sixty pounds lighter, he said it was time. Now he's been at it for over a month, works out 3 days a week, and has lost 7 lbs. So far i've lost 73.2, and he tells me all the time that I inspire him. He's off cigarettes, soda, and almost all junk food. Weight loss is such a personal thing, and some get easily offended when you try to influence them. When he sees your results, he should jump on board! Good luck!!
  • MaysMom
    MaysMom Posts: 103 Member
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    I am completely with you on this. The hubs is verbally supportive. But insists on having sweet tea, Little Debbie cakes, chips, Coke, and such in the house. He's a smoker with diabetes and cancer running prominently on both sides of his family. He eats junk constantly. I understand (as he reminds me all the time) that he's not trying to lose weight and he's not on a diet. It just seems that he could maybe hide it a little better, try to not be so blatent about it when he knows how hard it is for me.
  • LovelySnugs
    LovelySnugs Posts: 389
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    Wife and I are both in this together. Some days, we're good. Other days, we falter. But we do it together. lol

    The tough days are when one of us is in a "zone" and wants to be good, but the other's willpower crumbles. Usually results in the weaker one dragging the other down with him/her. Depending on who falters.

    my husband and i are EXACTLY the same way.
  • athaliah
    athaliah Posts: 24 Member
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    My husband is being 100% unhelpful towards me losing weight.

    He's anti veggie, anti-fruit and eats only processed food and will throw out whole passionate dramatic monologues about how processing of food is a good thing even tho he has not a clue about what he's talking about or nutrition at all. Needless to say, his theorys all have holes in them, but he gives a good speech.

    He has rants about HFCS being good (?) He wanted to show me up so much he wrote a anti-vegetable rant on the net and telling his lies to others to belive. (He's getting diabetic from a life of this, and he wonders why when my dr loves that I am getting healthy on my own even tho my numbers all are good, and still getting better.)
    I just ask him where he's getting his information, then smile at him and then give him a whole bunch of URLS to read for later. Rinse and repeat each month.

    I had to put my foot down and tell him that I was eating my own food and promptly filled the house with good things. If he was going to eat in the house, it would be what I make, or he makes it for himself his choice. Then I put all the processed crap in his own cupboard and promptly marked it in my head as not existing for me and its not a place that I will go to for food anymore.

    So, Its possible to have weight loss without one's support I have found out, but its much harder. Thank goodness we have other like minded people here for support.

    Just like everything else, you gotta communicate with your partner. For me, it ended up, I had to stand my own ground and lose weight for myself. Anyways, who knows what is going on in their heads. It could be jealousy or control issues driving their thoughts. Its your own responsibly to lead your own life, not for someone else to make you end yours early because of their beliefs about food.
  • FireFaerie550
    FireFaerie550 Posts: 3 Member
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    My husband struggles to keep weight on, and his diet is terrible. I also worry that he will end up with diabetes (we both have parents with diabetes) or heart problems, but he is unwilling to change his habits. However, he is very supportive and makes sure that I know he loves me no matter what size I am. He just wants me to be healthy.
  • hbrekkaas
    hbrekkaas Posts: 268 Member
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    My husband if very supportive, with whatever I want to do. If I tell him to I am going for a walk he is always willing to watch the kids, and if I say I am going ot get an icecream hes ok with that too. No matter what size I am he is very much in love with me, it doesn't change anything.

    He doesn't have the best diet, but its not terrible either. I don't nag him to lose weight or get in shape (not that he has alot to lose) Weight loss is a very personal thing, like someone else said. You can't make someone lose weight/get in shape/change their habits. They have to choose to do it themselves.
  • ofccat
    ofccat Posts: 284 Member
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    I have a very supportive husband. He eats pretty well and works out too.

    As far as the chocolate, candy soda. All I can say is all things in moderation. I had a coke yesterday for the first time in forever. And my daughter's birthday party was last weekend and I indulged in cake- actually a few times with all the leftovers. But I did make it up with working out harder.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    Be careful what you wish for. My partner has a very high metabolism, but is also eating healthy - as a matter of fact, he was really the one who got us started on the conversation that lead to our healthier lifestyle. In order to maintain (he would actually like to gain a bit) he ends up eating everything. I have no idea what leftovers might be available and today he ate something that I had made ahead of time to let set. I guess 24 hours is technically set, but I would have like to have some bean salad, too!

    One thing that has helped to keep him from bringing stuff like ice cream into the house has been to develop genuinely tasty alternatives - we thrive on banana creme instead of ice cream (blended frozen bananas). He likes almonds with dark chocolate chips better than candy bars. We find my homemade protein bars (1 banana, 1/2 cup whey protein powder, 1 cup old fashioned oats, 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips baked at 350) yummier than the cowboy cookies I used to make...

    On the plus side for me, if I make these treats, I rarely have to worry about getting more than one serving before it is gone.
  • t1981
    t1981 Posts: 54 Member
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    my husband is supportive, but still wants to eat his junk food, which means it's still in the house :( but on the other hand some of my healthier habits have rubbed off on him- we no longer have soda in the house, he's actually started to eat salads and other veggi's. He's really good at letting me know if he notices that i've lost weight, which I appreciate :)