AT HOME: Perfect! EATING OUT: Weight Gains :(

Hello MFP-ers!

I am no stranger to the weight loss, calorie counting game. But I keep stumbling over the same stumbling block, and thought others could offer some tips for how to handle it...

About 4 or 5 days a week, I am able to prepare ALL my meals at home: whether eating in my kitchen, or packing meals to take to work, I KNOW and COUNT all cals. of my food. Those days are awesome, I feel great, and the scale shows a loss.

However, usually 2-3 days a week (particularly weekends), I will have certain meals out: my boyfriend and I go out for sushi or Indian food for dinner, friends invite us to a family party, etc etc etc. These days are usually the weekend, so they are a couple days IN SUCCESSION, and I really lose my groove.

I find that those "eating out" days derail me, and I want to figure out how to change that. Any weight I have lost during the week (usually 2 pounds after a few days of counting cals) is regained during the weekend, making it hard to "get ahead" weight wise.

It's like: even though I *KNOW* I can look up restaurant foods in the MFP database, I can never be sure of servings, or sometimes cannot find a certain item, etc etc. And usually, since these "hard" days come 2 or 3 in a row, they just derail me in general, and I stop counting, have a few extra snacks during those evenings, and generally just feel like the day is then "blown".

Part me of wishes I could just NEVER go out to restaurants (considering doing that for 30 days or so), but I don't want to forsake family/friends' parties----I want my weight loss strategies to be sustainable, and not done at the expense of a social life LOL.

I am also wondering if maybe I should assign a "placeholder" value to all restaurant meals and "unknown cal" meals: call them all A THOUSAND cals, and on the days when I have an "out of the house" meal (1000 cals), budget it in that way, leaving me 800 cals left to fit in the rest of the day?

Any tips from others who have solved a similar situation are very appreciated! Thanks for reading

Replies

ndj1979

not trying to be snarky but the answer is the following:

1. eat less when you go out

or

2. eat less during the day and have your regular meal when you go out …

kr1stadee

First, you need to stop letting one meal out (a day) derail your progress.

You can eat beforehand and go out for the social aspect.

You can look up restaurants online, and whatever you can't find, pick something similar, and plan out your meal.

You can make sure you get in a good workout beforehand.

If you leave yourself 800 calories for the days that you eat out, you will, most likely, end up hungry and eat more than you normally would.

You could decline an invite every once and a while.

Make it work for you. Fit your meals into your goals. It is very possible to do. You may have to sacrifice some of your go-to, comfort meals, but if you're serious about reaching goals, you have to make it work.

pensierobello

Or, do more exercise to balance it out.

kittykarin

Hi! On days when you know you are going out, I would drink tons of extra water (restaurant meals typically have lots of sodium) and eat sensibly for the other meals of your day. Don't try to starve yourself before because you are more likely to overeat at dinner. My weight loss and lifestyle change really came together when I stopped having the "I've blown it" attitude. Don't pack in tons of food and decide to go on a food binge just because u overate at one meal.
Also, just be aware of foods you know are high calorie. It's common sense that fried food, foods in gravy or creamy sauces are high in calories. Try to make your main meal something lower calorie like salad or grilled meats and eat small portions of the other stuff.

ndj1979

I will also add that when you go out you don't have to choose the calorie laden meals. you can always go with something grilled and a side of vegetables…most restaurants tend to have a "lighter fare" option these days that comes in around 500 to 700 calories….

Krystle1984

If I know I'm eating out I always scale back during the day. Lots of veg and salad so calories are at a minimum and I have as much as possible to play with. If I'm going out a few days in succession I will cut back throughout the entire week so my weekly intake balances out. I always try and get some exercise in too so I can earn some extra calories. Knowing where you're eating and pre-logging your meal is a good idea too.

ThriftyChica12

Thanks all so much for the FAST and helpful responses---I will write up these tips on a post it, put in my wallet, and keep with me when I go out!

And yes, you all are right: through lower cal choices when out, more accurate logging, and more exercise, I CAN make it work!!! It's just hard and kinda frustrating---but I am willing to keep improving, because I want to lose this last 30 pounds!!!

ThriftyChica12

ndj1979 wrote: »

not trying to be snarky but the answer is the following:

1. eat less when you go out

or

2. eat less during the day and have your regular meal when you go out …

LOL

you are right, and i know it. time to get my butt in gear with this.

in my early twenties, i could track *most* of the week, have a couple "cheat" days, and still lose:
NOW at 31 years old, that it is not true any more...it's like I have not yet admit that I HAVE TO bring my "A-game" EVERY day or this won't work

NoIdea101NoIdea

I stretch my calories out over the week, so if i do go over at the weekends then, as long as it isn't too much over, it should still fit into my calorie allowance.

Choose the healthiest thing on the menu. Avoid fried foods. Hold all sauces and dressings.

And, this may be slightly 'controversial', but avoid alcohol unless your intention is to get drunk. I am still of that age (just about) where getting drunk with my friends is fun. But unless i'm planning one of those nights, i don't drink. Don't see the point with the empty calories when i could just have a diet coke an also not get drunk.

galgenstrick

Most restaurants are perfectly happy preparing a grilled chicken breast and steamed vegetables. That's what I normally get unless it's a planned cheat meal or I've saved 1k+ calories for that meal.

I always assume there's some oil used to grill the chicken, and I've gotten good at eyeing how much chicken I'm eating. Never had a weight loss issue while eating out, even several times a week.

ophiure

Here's what I do:
1) For all local fast food restaurants that my family visits, I have a list on my phone of meals that are within 200-500 calories. I can choose anything on that list. I also keep my favourite things on there (foods that end up being 700+ calories) so that I can a) remember how many calories they are, if tempted and b) adjust the rest of my day if I choose to eat them.

2) For chain, sit-down restaurants, I also keep a separate list, but it is much, much harder to choose things. Honestly, most meals end up being 1000+ calories which wrecks my entire day. Yes, you can definitely split the meal into two, but you have to either have the self-control to not overindulge OR ask for them to split it up before your plate even arrives.

3) For random restaurants that I cannot research ahead of time, I eyeball it. It's really all you can do. We went to a Chinese restaurant where I had curry (yes, very Chinese). I was able to split the meal into three separate meals. I overestimated everything every time, to err on the side of caution.

Another instance is where I went out with coworkers to celebrate the end of our contracts. Like ndj1979, I planned to eat less during the day for going out at night. I budgeted for a "coffee" (aka, whipped cream and chocolate mocha) and then instead of getting a crepe I got a bowl of strawberries so that I could eat with everyone else. (Honestly, it was so late at night that I didn't want to feel weighed down in crepes).

Before these events, I usually Quick Add 1000 calories. Then, after I adjust for what I ate, I make sure that if my net calories are miraculously below 1200 (which rarely happens after going out), I eat something else, like a protein bar/granola bar, fruit, whatever.

It takes a bit of planning, but I find that by having my lists and preparing things ahead of time, I feel much more confident in my food choices. I also feel less stressed because I know that it won't be hard for me to make a good choice because I already thought about it. I can enjoy the company of my friends and family instead of worrying about food.

365andstillalive

ThriftyChica12 wrote: »

It's like: even though I *KNOW* I can look up restaurant foods in the MFP database, I can never be sure of servings, or sometimes cannot find a certain item, etc etc. And usually, since these "hard" days come 2 or 3 in a row, they just derail me in general, and I stop counting, have a few extra snacks during those evenings, and generally just feel like the day is then "blown".

So the issue is that you're eating over maintenance 2-3 days a week, which is cancelling out the deficit you ran earlier in the week.

If you know eating out is something you do regularly, that's okay, but you need to actually start planning for that. Look up the menu for the restaurant before you go, seek out nutritional information and when you can't find an entry that matches perfectly, go with the one that sounds most accurate. Only eat half the restaurant meal and save the rest for the next day if it's something you can't fit into your calories. It also sounds like once you've already over-eaten, you throw all caution to the wind and consume more calories because hey, you've already blown it, right?

I have a crazy work schedule and the last few weeks have made making dinners difficult, especially since my SO has been logging a lot of over time. In the past week, I've eaten at two different sit-down restaurants (Jack Astors & Boston Pizza), had take-out thai, pizza twice, and pita pit twice. I haven't eaten over maintenance once and have continued to lose weight. It's do-able to keep your weekends and your weight loss. If nothing else, learn to aim for maintenance on your weekends (aka eat at your TDEE or marginally lower); that way you won't gain, you just won't lose. And if you're still gaining, either your TDEE calculations are off, or you're eating too much sodium to see scale losses.

SLLRunner

ndj1979 wrote: »

not trying to be snarky but the answer is the following:

1. eat less when you go out

or

2. eat less during the day and have your regular meal when you go out …

This.

Plus, if you eat about 100 less each day during the week, you have 500 extra calories in the bank.

thereshegoesagain

I have a few suggestions:

If possible, look at the menu online and decide ahead of time what you will eat that doesn't destroy your mojo. If they don't have nutritional info, looking at a similar style chain restaurant's will give you an overall idea.

Last week I went to a local italian restaurant and asked the manager what they could do to provide me my needs. The cook was happy to make something different than his usual pasta laden with cream, meat and cheese.

Sometimes I also take a small Tupperware container of my own measured out salad dressing.

I've also started entertaining more at home. It's more fun for me anyway.

Good luck!

SherryTeach

I nearly always ask for a to-go box to arrive with my meal and then I put at least half of my food in it, spreading the rest out on my plate. The bonus is that I have a nice-looking (and not picked through) lunch the next day.

Machka9

Don't just look on MFP for foods from restaurants, look up the restaurants themselves.

For example, we like to go to La Porchetta once in a while. If you click on their menu page, they've got a pdf of nutritional values: http://www.laporchetta.com.au/our-menu

They don't have their whole menu on there, but enough for me to know that I'm skipping the garlic bread and having a side salad instead. And the cannelloni entree (which is really good) is probably my best bet in terms of calories. And if I've exercised for it, I might even have the chocolate mousse.

Which brings me to my next point. If I am going to go out ... I'm going to exercise!! I'll probably put in a good couple hours on the bicycle or something.

zoeysasha37

If I know that I'm going to be eating out several times that week, I just order lower calorie items from the menu. If I'm just going out to eat one time per week or twice, then I just order what I want and enjoy it as a treat.
Last night we went out to a bar and grill. I couldn't fit in a treat and needed to keep my meal lower calorie . Instead of alcohol (I don't drink any alcohol anyway but some ppl do) I ordered a ice water and a diet soda . I ordered a garden salad and used oil and vinegar as the dressing. I had a dinner roll with the salad also. So I had a nice time and still stayed within range of my calories. Even though I didn't weigh the salad, I knew it was likely still close enough.
So if you can't fit in a treat, just go for a lower calorie option that you still enjoy eating.

Mistraal1981

An alternative not yet mentioned is to not have your social gatherings centre around food. Go bowling or go play pool for example.

fr3smyl

kittykarin wrote: »

Hi! On days when you know you are going out, I would drink tons of extra water (restaurant meals typically have lots of sodium) and eat sensibly for the other meals of your day. Don't try to starve yourself before because you are more likely to overeat at dinner. My weight loss and lifestyle change really came together when I stopped having the "I've blown it" attitude. Don't pack in tons of food and decide to go on a food binge just because u overate at one meal.
Also, just be aware of foods you know are high calorie. It's common sense that fried food, foods in gravy or creamy sauces are high in calories. Try to make your main meal something lower calorie like salad or grilled meats and eat small portions of the other stuff.

I will be using this adviceovert next few days.

sajerd

I feel like I'm lucky that I love seafood and also love salad and vegetables. When I go to a nice restaurant I limit my menu search to a great piece if fish and a wonderful hopefully inventive salad or veggie to go with it. At our local joint where my husband and I always often nip out to for a late dinner without kids, I'll often get a dozen oysters on the half shell and an arugula salad with goat cheese and almonds and a light dressing. It is filling and low cal and feels like such a treat. Any "clean" preparation of fish, shrimp, mussels, etc does the trick for me with an interesting vegetable or salad side. But keep it interesting so it still feels special. Ie. forget the lettuce with lemon when everyone else is having something special. Good luck!

bpetrosky

A big challenge with non-chain restaurants is that many dishes can be very hard to estimate. The preparation can vary a fair bit from visit to visit. It helps to look for grilled items, pick non-starchy vegetables when given the choice, and avoid cream or butter based sauces (nothing wrong with them, just very high calorie). I always ask the server for details if I am not sure of the preparation. To log the meal, I just make a best-guess estimate and add an arbitrary percentage, then quick add the calories. Usually the extra sodium will show up on the scale for a day or two, but it's fairly easy to anticipate once you've seen it a couple times.

But, it's good to know you can go out for tandoori chicken or vietnamese bbq pork and not throw away progress.

Machka9

Mistraal1981 wrote: »

An alternative not yet mentioned is to not have your social gatherings centre around food. Go bowling or go play pool for example.

Good point.

Back in the days I was training for cycling events, I told people that if they wanted to socialise with me, they were more than welcome to join me on a ride.

A few people did.

tomatoey

bpetrosky wrote: »

A big challenge with non-chain restaurants is that many dishes can be very hard to estimate. The preparation can vary a fair bit from visit to visit. It helps to look for grilled items, pick non-starchy vegetables when given the choice, and avoid cream or butter based sauces (nothing wrong with them, just very high calorie). I always ask the server for details if I am not sure of the preparation. To log the meal, I just make a best-guess estimate and add an arbitrary percentage, then quick add the calories. Usually the extra sodium will show up on the scale for a day or two, but it's fairly easy to anticipate once you've seen it a couple times.

But, it's good to know you can go out for tandoori chicken or vietnamese bbq pork and not throw away progress.

Yup - go for tandoori or grilled things, and if you can't sub starches for veg (steamed , ideally), learn to eyeball portions. Shoot for 1/2 cup if it's rice , 3/4 if potatoes (boiled or baked is best). Avoid sauces, curries, etc. If you do go for something high cal , choose the higher cal items in the database. I know for me I can feel what 450 is like vs 700 vs 1000, use your judgement, but rounding up is safest. Eg the schwarmas on the db all day 450 ish. The one I get feels more like 550-600. I once watched the guy and input every ingredient (down to measuring pita diameter with a ruler app) and I'm pretty sure I was right with my higher estimate.

Drinks: vodka and no-cal mixes like soda, or some bitter beers, or 1-2 glasses wine.

bpetrosky

tomatoey wrote: »

bpetrosky wrote: »

A big challenge with non-chain restaurants is that many dishes can be very hard to estimate. The preparation can vary a fair bit from visit to visit. It helps to look for grilled items, pick non-starchy vegetables when given the choice, and avoid cream or butter based sauces (nothing wrong with them, just very high calorie). I always ask the server for details if I am not sure of the preparation. To log the meal, I just make a best-guess estimate and add an arbitrary percentage, then quick add the calories. Usually the extra sodium will show up on the scale for a day or two, but it's fairly easy to anticipate once you've seen it a couple times.

But, it's good to know you can go out for tandoori chicken or vietnamese bbq pork and not throw away progress.

Yup - go for tandoori or grilled things, and if you can't sub starches for veg (steamed , ideally), learn to eyeball portions. Shoot for 1/2 cup if it's rice , 3/4 if potatoes (boiled or baked is best). Avoid sauces, curries, etc. If you do go for something high cal , choose the higher cal items in the database. I know for me I can feel what 450 is like vs 700 vs 1000, use your judgement, but rounding up is safest. Eg the schwarmas on the db all day 450 ish. The one I get feels more like 550-600. I once watched the guy and input every ingredient (down to measuring pita diameter with a ruler app) and I'm pretty sure I was right with my higher estimate.

Drinks: vodka and no-cal mixes like soda, or some bitter beers, or 1-2 glasses wine.

Good points. I don't mind a vodka tonic from time-to-time, but there's an old cuban inside me that doesn't feel right without a rum and coke. Coke Zero is actually a not-so-bad substitute, if the bar has it, but I can't abide by Diet Coke with rum... If I have to choose then, I just have the rum on the rocks.

tomatoey

bpetrosky wrote: »

tomatoey wrote: »

bpetrosky wrote: »

A big challenge with non-chain restaurants is that many dishes can be very hard to estimate. The preparation can vary a fair bit from visit to visit. It helps to look for grilled items, pick non-starchy vegetables when given the choice, and avoid cream or butter based sauces (nothing wrong with them, just very high calorie). I always ask the server for details if I am not sure of the preparation. To log the meal, I just make a best-guess estimate and add an arbitrary percentage, then quick add the calories. Usually the extra sodium will show up on the scale for a day or two, but it's fairly easy to anticipate once you've seen it a couple times.

But, it's good to know you can go out for tandoori chicken or vietnamese bbq pork and not throw away progress.

Yup - go for tandoori or grilled things, and if you can't sub starches for veg (steamed , ideally), learn to eyeball portions. Shoot for 1/2 cup if it's rice , 3/4 if potatoes (boiled or baked is best). Avoid sauces, curries, etc. If you do go for something high cal , choose the higher cal items in the database. I know for me I can feel what 450 is like vs 700 vs 1000, use your judgement, but rounding up is safest. Eg the schwarmas on the db all day 450 ish. The one I get feels more like 550-600. I once watched the guy and input every ingredient (down to measuring pita diameter with a ruler app) and I'm pretty sure I was right with my higher estimate.

Drinks: vodka and no-cal mixes like soda, or some bitter beers, or 1-2 glasses wine.

Good points. I don't mind a vodka tonic from time-to-time, but there's an old cuban inside me that doesn't feel right without a rum and coke. Coke Zero is actually a not-so-bad substitute, if the bar has it, but I can't abide by Diet Coke with rum... If I have to choose then, I just have the rum on the rocks.

Diet Coke is revolting! Coke Zero's not too bad, it's probably the only "diet" drink I can stomach.

tomatoey

Mistraal1981 wrote: »

An alternative not yet mentioned is to not have your social gatherings centre around food. Go bowling or go play pool for example.

I think this is unrealistic. People and food just go together.

PopeyeCT

If you're normally with your boyfriend when you go out, maybe you could talk to him about which places to go and try to pick a few that you know have low calorie options for you and make those your regulars. Avoid the Cheesecake Factory!

arditarose

I shave off a hundred calories a day and allow myself to eat well above maintenance once per week.

TimothyFish

Restaurant meals have about 1000 calories in them. Fast food does a little less than that. Just eat half of what they bring you and you'll do fine.

KBmoments

Here for tips, too. But if I know I'm going to eat out, I usually just try to eat lighter throughout the day and lighter the next day.