Feeling Paralyzed

DizzyGinger
DizzyGinger Posts: 1 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
I'm posting here because I'm not sure where else to go and I could use some advice. I hate my body. I weigh about 150 pounds, give or take, and I'm 5'6". So technically I'm not overweight (for what BMI is worth, anyway), but I've been consistently gaining weight as I get older and its making me really anxious and depressed. 6 years ago, when I graduated college, I weighed 135 pounds; 10 years ago, when I graduated high school, I was 125. I carry my weight in my lower body, and when I look in the mirror all I see is a huge belly and big thighs. I'm also starting to see changes in areas like my shoulders and arms, where I've pretty much always been thin. My clothes don't fit right, and I worry that I look to others the way I look to myself: fat. If I try to express this anxiety to people, all I get is "oh shut up, you're skinny" dismissals, which make me feel guilty for even feeling this way.

Aside from just depressing me generally, this anxiety really prevents me from making positive changes. When I diet, I get obsessed with doing it correctly, and end up quitting when I don't measure up; when I exercise, it's the same. I am seeing a therapist to try to get past the notion that my entire worth is tied up in my appearance, but on a practical level I'm not sure how to power through those feelings so I can stay motivated and work out.

I'm sure there are others out there that have felt similarly. How do you turn self-loathing into a positive, practical motivation to make changes in your lifestyle? I'm just starting to feel paralyzed by my body hate and I don't know what else to do. Thanks to all for letting me complain a little.

Replies

  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,373 Member
    I think your first step is to see a counsellor if you aren't already to assist with the self-hate and obsessiveness.
  • galaxyeyed
    galaxyeyed Posts: 98 Member
    I think you should discuss practical ways to turn negative thoughts into positive ones with your therapist. Being completely honest with them about how you see your body will let them help you further. I've never been happy with my body, but consider this - does self-hatred accomplish anything? Will sitting at home because you are afraid to fail at exercise doing you any favors? Love your body, it's the only one you ever get :smile:
  • debubbie
    debubbie Posts: 767 Member
    I agree that you need to talk to your therapist about how you honestly feel about your body and find some ways for you to turn those negative thoughts into motivation for yourself.

    Here are some ideas that may help you:
    ** I think you also need to break your weight loss goals into smaller more manageable goals. For example, to lose five pounds over 8 weeks since you aren't that far from a healthier weight.
    ** Keep a journal of your accomplishments including the inches you have lost. The scale is the devil and can be frustrating when you are eating better and moving more and nothing seems to be changing on the scale. The journal can be motivating to see how much progress you have made over time.
    ** Work on strength training as that will help to change the composition of your body.
    ** This is easier said than done, but realize that nobody can lose weight correctly or perfectly. We are all learning as we go and finding what works for each of us because what works for one person will not work for everyone else. Try to learn from your mistakes and remember that each day is a new day to get you closer to your goal.

    Wishing you the best!
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