Scared

freckledots
freckledots Posts: 2 Member
edited November 18 in Introduce Yourself
I'm overweight and afraid to do anything about it. I've battled with confidence most of my life and now, in my late 20s, I've created an amazing body-positive support system and even modeled professionally.

The problem is, I'm afraid if I don't lose weight now, I'll regret it. And if I do, I'm afraid that (vainly) I won't lose weight in the right places and won't be as pretty. What if my skin sags? My cheeks hollow out? What if I look way older than I am? Not to mention I'd be turning my back on my plus-sized sisters with whom I have championed self-love. What kind of hypocrite would I be? But I love yoga, and dancing, and sex- and I am not strong enough to do handstands. I'm embarrassed to dance in the company of thinner people. I don't put myself out there enough to meet men. Fear is holding me back from everything and I'm hoping that this small step- just tracking what I eat- will lead to a gradual transformation that won't seem so scary.

Replies

  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    How about making a list of good reasons to lose weight? For starters, you are likely to live longer without developing some pretty bad health problems along the way. As for your plus-sized sisters, you don't lose weight for other people and your choices have nothing to do with them.
  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
    Focus on health. I know it can be hard but that really should be number 1. Losing weight doesnt change who u are inside. Ive lost 65lbs and yes i have saggy skin. I still feel 100x better about myself. The good things with losing weight should always outweigh the bad
  • A2theListen
    A2theListen Posts: 1 Member
    I think that YOU are the most important thing here. I understand you being afraid, but I don't think your "sisters" would think you are turning your back on them. You don't have to be plus sized to still support them and their body-positive thing. Being body-positive isn't just for plus sized people either, it's for EVERYONE, including YOU. You don't sound very positive when you say you are embarrassed to dance in the company of thinner people. You gotta keep your head up and be YOU and stay true to YOU no matter what, big or little. Change is good, fear is natural. We're all human and not one of us is perfect. Your friends will support you in your journey, if they don't, if they give you a hard time about wanting to lose weight, wanting to be more comfortable in your own skin, wanting to be healthier...they aren't your real friends. ;)
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Why must you maintain your extra weight to remain body positive? Why is it hypocritical or turning your back on others in your group?

    In my opinion, being body positive means embracing your body however it is. It doesn't mean that you don't want to work for something better, just that you are going to be happy about your body, no matter what. You aren't suddenly going to start shaming your plus-sized sisters because you are trying to get healthier, and I doubt they will shame you.

    Just make small changes a little at a time. Tracking what you eat is a good first step. Then you can look at one thing to improve in how you eat - possibly cutting back on portions or eating out less or eating more vegetables or ... (there's many things we can all improve on, right? :wink:). Once you're used to that maybe you can start trying to walk for 20 minutes a day, then increase that to 30, and so on. And as you go through the process, find what you love about your body in whatever stage you're working through, and maybe even help others in your support system to find something new they love about their bodies, too.
  • taminanny
    taminanny Posts: 2 Member
    I totally understand your fears. I, too, have let fear make a lot of my decisions in life, and when I was your age, there was this big one - What if I lose all this weight and I still don't have the perfect life? My weight was a great blanket of protection for me. Slowly, and sometimes in spite of my best sabotaging, I did find the great guy. I got married. I traveled the world and lived in Europe for 6 years. I fought the hardest battle of my life with infertility and found our son (through adoption) at the end. I made amazing friends of all sizes. I did all of that while overweight. Now, at 49, I am really trying to lose weight and learn to be honest with myself. The real reason for doing it is that I want to be healthy enough while my son grows up so he can focus on himself and not have to worry about his parents' health when he should be worried about starting a career and a family. I suppose what I am saying is that life has good and bad when you are fat and when you are thin. Size is just a small part of who you are and why your friends love you.
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