Lost 150 pounds and gained it all back plus some

It's really terrible to feel like you're starting all over again and I'm so sorry for the bad things that have happened to you I similarly am re-losing weight after family loss derailed my progress.

The good news is- you've lost weight before and you know how to do it! Just get started, set small achievable goals for yourself, and you'll be back to feeling better soon. Feeling in control of your eating and exercise will help you feel more in control of your life.

You can do it and GOOD LUCK!!!!

Sounds like it has been a stressful time for you to say the least. If there is anyway that you could see a therapist and discuss some of the struggles you have had especially with a past eating disorder, please do so.

Take care of yourself. Maybe make some small attainable goals and baby step through this process. Make it a lifestyle instead of just a diet. This may sound silly but maybe you do a "just for today I will..." type of thing. Like "just for today I will drink at least 8 glasses of water and have no soda. Or Just for today I will add an extra veggie to my plate instead of a brownie." I know it is painful but maybe try simple exercises or even walking just a bit more. Love yourself where you are and know that you will improve your life with every step you take.

You can do this!

Hey there. So...I know how you feel. I'm in recovery right now from binge eating disorder and a former bulimic...in my case the bulimia never even helped me get the weight off. I have a couple of big suggestions for you, the first being therapy. EDs are nasty stuff. I've been dealing with my disordered eating for over a decade now. I was in a wonderful program a few years back that helped me a ton, but unfortunately they closed and I wasn't able to continue with it. Some stuff has happened this year and I've been doing a lot better than I ever have. Having a good support network is a major thing. Most schools have on-campus support for EDs so I would really suggest looking into that so you can start being equipped with the tools to be able to start coping with it.

Due to my eating disorder I got to a weight I never thought would be possible for me, and during a very stressful time last year, I gained even more from that weight. I was devastated and felt absolutely sick when I realized how much "work" I created for myself again.

As people with EDs, we've lost our ability to have a normal relationship with food. Believe it or not, it is completely possible to regain it. It takes work and PATIENCE. It is not an overnight thing. I've lost 60 pounds this year in a healthy manner. My weight started out much higher than yours at 436, but even despite having days where I binge or weeks of mindless eating, I always strive to come back and make sure to try to do my best. I log for accountability more than anything, even on days where I end up binging and blowing my calorie limit out of the water. I know I need to lose this weight it for health reasons, but what I focus on in my own mind is that I've lost it in a way that reflects my normalizing relationship with food - NOT just that I've become 60 pounds "thinner." I can get into phases where I mentally speak absolutely horribly to myself because of my body, but realize that this doesn't do anything to help me. All it does is hurt, and all it does is keep me focused on the disordered eating mentality that got me to where I was in the first place.

I would really suggesting looking for some well-reviewed self-help books about binge eating that speak to you. I know for me, that helped me a A LOT. While I am not in active therapy at the moment, I have been a lot in the past and do go when I feel I need help in particularly stressful times. What I do have, however, is 2-3 books that are about binge eating and normalizing food behaviour and thoughts that I constantly refer to when I'm struggling. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I don't refer to them as much as I should, I admit, but now at almost 6 months in they are a huge comfort to me, and this is the most successful I've been in my life. If you want I'd love to suggest them to you if you message me.

I'm sorry if this was a rambling response! You can do this, but please be patient with yourself. It's not an overnight thing, and my suggestions that will help you will be
1) stop fearing binges. They will happen. See the goal as maximizing the amount of time between them as opposed to "this being the last one." It was never the last one, for me, EVER.
2) Try to learn to start loving yourself, and accepting your body as it is. This doesn't mean that you have to start loving the weight, but simply being able to look at yourself and go "I'm okay," is a huge step. It doesn't rob you of your ability to want to self-improve. I tend to backslide the most when I fall into deep pits of self-loathing regarding my body image. Most people with EDs have massive self-hatred and it can tend to cripple us when it comes to recovery.
3) Reach out. Find a therapist you connect with and feel comfortable with. I can only hope you have a close friend who you feel comfortable with talking to anything about. It helps release the shame surrounding the ED which is a huge thing. Shame is what keeps us hidden, and keeps the behaviour continuing to feel so awful and drives us to feel so desperate. You have nothing to be ashamed about. I know you probably don't feel it, but please believe me when I say it.

Please feel free to add me or message me if you want, even if you just want to talk or are curious about anything at all. You can do this. I promise.

I'm sure you know this, but buliimia, starvation, and mental breakdowns are not the keys to long term success. It sounds as if you have a lot of stuff going on regarding your relationship with food. Please maybe talk to someone and get some help. Until you do, I think you might have a hard time with long term success. I say this not to be mean, but out of a genuine want to give solid advice.

mamadon wrote: »

I'm sure you know this, but buliimia, starvation, and mental breakdowns are not the keys to long term success. It sounds as if you have a lot of stuff going on regarding your relationship with food. Please maybe talk to someone and get some help. Until you do, I think you might have a hard time with long term success. I say this not to be mean, but out of a genuine want to give solid advice.

Yup. This. Please, please, please, if you lose the weight again, do NOT do so via eating disorders. Please see a doctor and work with a therapist/nutritionist/etc. to lose the weight slowly & safely this time. If you lose it using healthy methods, you are far more likely to keep it off as you'll have learned healthy ways of eating and living to maintain the weight loss. Otherwise, you'll keep yo-yo dieting and it will be very rough for you both physically and mentally.

This content has been removed.

Speaking as the voice of experience, all I can say is I had lost 140 lbs a few years ago. And it was not the first time I had lost over 100 lbs. Life was great. I got a boyfriend after being divorced for many years. Got my job back after being laid off two years earlier. This was 2011. Then in the last few years I was under TREMENDOUS pressure at work and my coping mechanism, the previous one of binge eating, reared its ugly head. I regained 92 lbs. in a little over 3 years. It was devastating. And I know TOTALLY the feeling you are having. I have gained and lost weight more times in my life than I care to remember. I was so sad when I saw myself in pictures. Saw the clothes in my closet that I couldn't wear. I thought about it every morning when I woke up. Every night when I closed my eyes. All day long. And last winter when I realized it was possible my weight was creeping towards starting with a "3", I just decided to surrender to what I needed to do. To accept the mistakes of the last 3 years. And to remember that it literally is "one day at a time".

I watched the HBO documentary "The Weight Of The Nation". They interviewed two friends with each lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for many years. They asked them how they achieved something so extraordinary. And one of them had a reply that was exactly what I needed to hear. She said that it was in the daily execution of the ORDINARY that she was able over time to achieve something EXTRAORDINARY. Simple genius.

Don't beat yourself up from today forward. Surrender to where you are right now and remember that you cannot go back in time. Only forward. And also remember that while the days seem to go by slowly, the years go by so fast. Take today, then the next day, and then the next. And follow your plan. And if you aren't perfect, then welcome to the world! But if you do the ORDINARY things you need to do (track your food, moderate exercise that you can maintain, and stay positive, and whatever else helps you personally).....before you know it 6 months will have gone by. And then a year. The time is going to go by regardless. Why not look up after a year of doing ORDINARY things every day and seeing an EXTRAORDINARY result.

You've got this.