Confessions of a closet eater.... revisited
IowaPrincess
Posts: 274 Member
****My posts are not meant to be taken seriously or as nutritional advice*****
Dim the lights and pull out the pizza... the chocolate... the cookie dough...
No one will ever know... just you and your jeans
So I decided to make a list for myself to MAKE me realize exactly what and why I am eating.
To often I ignore the obvious to indulge or to eat my emotions.
Hopefully this list will open my eyes to reality just a bit more and honestly make me feel my emotions and prevent future negative ones.
Happiness with food is fleeting and so often it leaves me feeling worse.
So here we go:
1. Is this food even remotely represented in the food pyramid (I am pretty sure chocolate and pepperoni aren't on there)
2. Has anyone ever gotten fat from eating to much of this ... or diabetes?? (Yes, you stupid)
3. Do you see skinny people eating this a lot?
4. Is this a food served on special occasions and or holidays? (I love you cadbury creme egg )
5. Can I purchase this from a vending machine or small gas station?
6. Would I feed this to a kid on a frequent basis?
7. Is there a cartoon character on the box? (This should be a GIANT red flag)
8. Is there a theme song or slogan for this food? (If you can sing/say it it off the top of your head PUT IT DOWN)
9. Would I still want this if I had to try to put on my old jeans first? (Emphasis on "try" as in Good Luck getting them past your hips)
10. Will this put me closer to my goal wait or a mu-mu?
11. Would I order this on a first date? (Yeah...if you dont want to see them again)
12. I much do i weigh? (OUCH)
13. How much am i supposed to weigh? (YIKES)
14. Would I want to run into my ex boyfriend while shoving this in my mouth? (Then he can think "wow that couch is eating a cookie!!")
15. Was this one of the foods that helped me resemble jabba the hut in the first place? (Everyone loves star wars references)
16. Am I just eating my emotions? (Sad Angry...etc.... doesnt being fat make those emotions more frequent and worse?)
17. Is this the last _______ I will ever see?
18. Would I want to put a pic of me eating this on Facebook?
19. Do you think any hot female celebrity would want to endorse this?
20. Picture myself naked ..... TADDAAAAAAAA ... I am not hungry at all
Making this list was actually really therapeutic for me!!!
It made me realize what I usually think of AFTER I eat bad foods..... now hopefully I will think of them BEFORE and not eat it
Dim the lights and pull out the pizza... the chocolate... the cookie dough...
No one will ever know... just you and your jeans
So I decided to make a list for myself to MAKE me realize exactly what and why I am eating.
To often I ignore the obvious to indulge or to eat my emotions.
Hopefully this list will open my eyes to reality just a bit more and honestly make me feel my emotions and prevent future negative ones.
Happiness with food is fleeting and so often it leaves me feeling worse.
So here we go:
1. Is this food even remotely represented in the food pyramid (I am pretty sure chocolate and pepperoni aren't on there)
2. Has anyone ever gotten fat from eating to much of this ... or diabetes?? (Yes, you stupid)
3. Do you see skinny people eating this a lot?
4. Is this a food served on special occasions and or holidays? (I love you cadbury creme egg )
5. Can I purchase this from a vending machine or small gas station?
6. Would I feed this to a kid on a frequent basis?
7. Is there a cartoon character on the box? (This should be a GIANT red flag)
8. Is there a theme song or slogan for this food? (If you can sing/say it it off the top of your head PUT IT DOWN)
9. Would I still want this if I had to try to put on my old jeans first? (Emphasis on "try" as in Good Luck getting them past your hips)
10. Will this put me closer to my goal wait or a mu-mu?
11. Would I order this on a first date? (Yeah...if you dont want to see them again)
12. I much do i weigh? (OUCH)
13. How much am i supposed to weigh? (YIKES)
14. Would I want to run into my ex boyfriend while shoving this in my mouth? (Then he can think "wow that couch is eating a cookie!!")
15. Was this one of the foods that helped me resemble jabba the hut in the first place? (Everyone loves star wars references)
16. Am I just eating my emotions? (Sad Angry...etc.... doesnt being fat make those emotions more frequent and worse?)
17. Is this the last _______ I will ever see?
18. Would I want to put a pic of me eating this on Facebook?
19. Do you think any hot female celebrity would want to endorse this?
20. Picture myself naked ..... TADDAAAAAAAA ... I am not hungry at all
Making this list was actually really therapeutic for me!!!
It made me realize what I usually think of AFTER I eat bad foods..... now hopefully I will think of them BEFORE and not eat it
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Replies
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Good list if a bit negative. I know you are trying to be funny but comparing yourself to celebrities is needlessly self defeating. I do like your point of would I feed this to a kid regularly. Most of all are you enjoying your food, sweets and all? If you aren't, stop eating it.0
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Good list if a bit negative. I know you are trying to be funny but comparing yourself to celebrities is needlessly self defeating. I do like your point of would I feed this to a kid regularly. Most of all are you enjoying your food, sweets and all? If you aren't, stop eating it.
1. What part of "My posts are not meant to be taken seriously" did I lose you on??
2. "If you aren't, stop eating it." I'm pretty sure MFP would be pretty low in poulation if things were so simple.
Also, I have done tons of these posts and I have noticed a running theme.... people who must always be critical and can't handle humor seem to have a few things in common... No photo and a small lists of friends.
Since we are on the topic of self defeating.
Have a good day
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This is hilarous!!
On a more serious note, the, would you feed a kid this on a regular basis point, is brilliant. I'll start asking myself that if I'm having a binge moment.
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Thanks TakingBack!!! 0
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