Needing some words of encouragement..

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Hi, my name Is Lacey. I weigh 221 pounds (please don't judge). I'm recently married and my husband and I would like to start a family, but I'm afraid my weight will make it hard for us to conceive. Any tips or suggestions is much appreciated.
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  • LoneWolfSNC
    LoneWolfSNC Posts: 6 Member
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    The hardest thing is always getting started, inertia. The good thing, there are two different ways to start working towards your goal. 1. Exercising - it doesn't have to be crazy circuit-training. Even just getting out for a walk has so many health benefits and it's a gateway for the exercises that'll help slim you down faster. 2. Eating healthy - A lot of people assume healthy eating means eating "healthy foods", this is not the case. "Healthy foods" and "Unhealthy foods" are both made of the same thing…calories. Healthy foods are a better choice because of nutrients BUT the truth is eating too much of EITHER will make you gain weight. My Fitness Pal is perfect because it will help you determine how many calories you need in a day, simply eat less than that number a day and you'll lose weight. Feel free to add me and message me if you have any questions, I'm about to be a NASM certified trainer and I'm always down to talk about dieting and health.
  • Equus5374
    Equus5374 Posts: 462 Member
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    No one here will judge you! We are all on our own journeys and have experienced many of the same feelings. Get on board with MFP and stick with it! Put in your stats and find out how many calories you can eat to be at a deficit. Remember, it takes time, patience, and persistence. It's a huge learning process, and don't beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon from time to time...WE ALL DO!! There are some very supportive people here. I suggest reading as many of the permanent posts in the forums in order to educate yourself on the process. You can do this. Remember, too, that the weight didn't go on in a few weeks or months, so it won't come off that quick either. Patience and persistence!!!
  • ToxicDollCandy
    ToxicDollCandy Posts: 8 Member
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    Thank you
  • lborsato1
    lborsato1 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    The concept is simple: Eat less, move more.
    Start slow, so you don't hurt yourself, and cut your calorie intake.
    Once you get started there will be bumps in the roads, but you just have to keep moving forward !
  • circlex
    circlex Posts: 3 Member
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    Progressive lifestyle changes. If you try to change everything for the better all at once, it will leave too much room for demoralizing failure. Set some realistic goals for exercise and diet, and then steadily move that bar a little more towards the ideal. Work your body up to exercise, since your cardio limit takes time to build up. As you can handle doing more exercise, you will naturally move toward it. Prior to falling off of the wagon a bit due to reentering the classroom, I found myself taking on a second workout on some days, just because I could.

    Remember, health is a journey. Just keep moving forward and the rest will take care of itself.
  • ToxicDollCandy
    ToxicDollCandy Posts: 8 Member
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    Equus5374 wrote: »
    No one here will judge you! We are all on our own journeys and have experienced many of the same feelings. Get on board with MFP and stick with it! Put in your stats and find out how many calories you can eat to be at a deficit. Remember, it takes time, patience, and persistence. It's a huge learning process, and don't beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon from time to time...WE ALL DO!! There are some very supportive people here. I suggest reading as many of the permanent posts in the forums in order to educate yourself on the process. You can do this. Remember, too, that the weight didn't go on in a few weeks or months, so it won't come off that quick either. Patience and persistence!!!
    Thank you. I used to be member a long time ago, but I forgot my login information and from there I just went down hill. So, I decided to make a new account.
  • Gretchen_To_Be
    Gretchen_To_Be Posts: 99 Member
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    You did the hardest thing, which is to put yourself out there. I'm certainly not in a position to judge anyone. Best of luck to you!
  • DaveAkeman
    DaveAkeman Posts: 296 Member
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    Hello, and welcome! I don't think you'll have to worry about being judged for your weight here. I've lost over 60 pounds, and I STILL weigh more than that!

    Anyway, here's a personal story that you might find encouraging: Many, many years ago my wife and I struggled with infertility. Weight wasn't the primary issue, but it wasn't helping. We struggled for 5 years. One day, completely unrelated to this issue, we both decided to join a gym and start working out together. For weeks, then months, she and I sweated side-by-side on the treadmills and weight machines. For weeks, then months, she saw my weight begin to drop more and more, while hers held rock solid. She didn't go up or down by more than a pound or so! Everyone told her to not worry, and keep it up . . . women just lose slower than men. Then, after several months, we suddenly found out that she was 4 months pregnant! (And, because of the exercise, hadn't gained a single pound!!!) The exercise and fat loss wasn't the only thing going on, but it very likely had a positive impact. Everything helps.

    You've made the important decision . . . to do something about your health.

    Next step - start recording everything you eat. Everything. Don't worry about cutting for now; just record it. Once you SEE what you're eating, you will also SEE opportunities to improve. Also, I would greatly suggest an activity tracker of some sort. You can get a clip-on pedometer for very cheap (sometimes even FREE from a health clinic or similar place), or if you have a smart phone you can download a free app (assuming you carry the phone in your pocket), or you can spend hundreds of dollars on a Fitbit or Garmin. They all do pretty much the same thing - they will allow you to quantify your activity level. And once you SEE your activity level, you will also SEE opportunities to improve there.

    The only trick to losing weight is CICO . . . calories in minus calories out. As long as your body is USING more calories than you are EATING, you're going to lose weight in the long run. It's that simple. Thermodynamics. You can get caught up in all the finer points later - protein vs carbs, sodium or no, etc - but for now, just count calories, both in and out.

    If you can get your husband to do this all with you, it would make it a lot easier. Plus, you can add your loss numbers together and celebrate bigger numbers (as a couple, we have lost X pounds this month!!!)

    One more thing . . . don't do like some people and set yourself a time-specific goal. Don't fret too much over how fast you lose weight. Just try to keep the needle going in the right direction.

    Welcome, and good luck to you!
  • DaveAkeman
    DaveAkeman Posts: 296 Member
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    Sorry . . . one more thing.

    Don't wait.

    Don't wait until you have the right workout clothes, or have gone shopping and bought the right vegetables, or have read the right articles, or have purchased the right equipment. Start NOW. Sit down NOW and write a list of everything you have eaten so far today.

    It's not going to be any easier tomorrow than today.
  • kab789
    kab789 Posts: 110 Member
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    Hi, my name Is Lacey. I weigh 221 pounds (please don't judge). I'm recently married and my husband and I would like to start a family, but I'm afraid my weight will make it hard for us to conceive. Any tips or suggestions is much appreciated.

    Hi Lacey, congratulations on your new married life!

    I started at 220 December 2014 so no judging here, and no one will judge you we all started some where on our own journey/adventure.

    My advise is like the others have already said cut back calories and start slowly exercising. I started walking with Leslie Sansone 1 mile walk every other day. She has a lot of different walk types from beginners to advanced, they are nice because you can do them at home if you are shy about joining a gym with lots of other people around.

    It is a learning process and you have to find what works best for you. One thing that really helped me in the beginning was to read some of the post at the top of the forums they have a lot of information. For me for motivation I enjoy reading the NSV posts and the "what no one ever told you about weight loss" post.

    Good luck and all the best on your journey to a new family
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    I wouldnt worry. Its all pretty straightforward and anyone can do it. Besides the abc of dieting which people will suggest im a stroing believer in setting soem time aside to prepare properly, make a decent plan thats suited to you, avoid previous mistakes, do the basics well, keep it simple and then commit. Have realistic expectations amd just keep making more good choices than bad.
  • rugbyphreak
    rugbyphreak Posts: 509 Member
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    Almost no one here will judge you. We've all been there. Some of us have been there several times... myself included.

    The hardest part is getting started. Find active things that you enjoy. I hate running, but walking, swimming, and playing sports are fun, so I do those instead of just plain, boring, sweaty, gross running. Drink water instead of soda. Make healthy decisions as much as possible, but don't eliminate everything you enjoy. A piece of chocolate is good for you. An entire bag is not.

    Think positive. Log everything. Seek encouragement and advice. Don't listen to the rude people.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
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    I believe in you.
  • ToxicDollCandy
    ToxicDollCandy Posts: 8 Member
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    DaveAkeman wrote: »
    Sorry . . . one more thing.

    Don't wait.

    Don't wait until you have the right workout clothes, or have gone shopping and bought the right vegetables, or have read the right articles, or have purchased the right equipment. Start NOW. Sit down NOW and write a list of everything you have eaten so far today.

    It's not going to be any easier tomorrow than today.

    Thank you. I loved your story! And I wish I could workout with my husband, but you see.. He had the opposite problem. He has trouble gaining weight. I have trouble keeping it off. When we first starting dating (July 21, 2014) I weighed 150 lbs. and he weighed 95 lbs. Today I'm at 221 and he is just now 126! I'm super happy that he's gaining weight (he says it's from all my good cooking lol) but I'm not happy that I'm still gaining. My family has history of a lot of weight related issues. Diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.. And I'm absolutely terrified of that!! The doctor has already told me that my blood pressure has been running higher than normal and they want me to keep an eye on it. One doctor even told me that I was "MORBIDLY OBESE"....
  • ericalouise661
    ericalouise661 Posts: 20 Member
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    Good luck.
  • ToxicDollCandy
    ToxicDollCandy Posts: 8 Member
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    I believe in you.

    Lol thanks
  • ToxicDollCandy
    ToxicDollCandy Posts: 8 Member
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    kab789 wrote: »
    Hi, my name Is Lacey. I weigh 221 pounds (please don't judge). I'm recently married and my husband and I would like to start a family, but I'm afraid my weight will make it hard for us to conceive. Any tips or suggestions is much appreciated.

    Hi Lacey, congratulations on your new married life!

    I started at 220 December 2014 so no judging here, and no one will judge you we all started some where on our own journey/adventure.

    My advise is like the others have already said cut back calories and start slowly exercising. I started walking with Leslie Sansone 1 mile walk every other day. She has a lot of different walk types from beginners to advanced, they are nice because you can do them at home if you are shy about joining a gym with lots of other people around.

    It is a learning process and you have to find what works best for you. One thing that really helped me in the beginning was to read some of the post at the top of the forums they have a lot of information. For me for motivation I enjoy reading the NSV posts and the "what no one ever told you about weight loss" post.

    Good luck and all the best on your journey to a new family

    Thank for the congrats! I'm loving being called Mrs. Powell!!<3 And I can't wait to be a mommy!! Also thanks for the advice lol.
  • DaveAkeman
    DaveAkeman Posts: 296 Member
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    DaveAkeman wrote: »
    Sorry . . . one more thing.

    Don't wait.

    Don't wait until you have the right workout clothes, or have gone shopping and bought the right vegetables, or have read the right articles, or have purchased the right equipment. Start NOW. Sit down NOW and write a list of everything you have eaten so far today.

    It's not going to be any easier tomorrow than today.

    Thank you. I loved your story! And I wish I could workout with my husband, but you see.. He had the opposite problem. He has trouble gaining weight. I have trouble keeping it off. When we first starting dating (July 21, 2014) I weighed 150 lbs. and he weighed 95 lbs. Today I'm at 221 and he is just now 126! I'm super happy that he's gaining weight (he says it's from all my good cooking lol) but I'm not happy that I'm still gaining. My family has history of a lot of weight related issues. Diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.. And I'm absolutely terrified of that!! The doctor has already told me that my blood pressure has been running higher than normal and they want me to keep an eye on it. One doctor even told me that I was "MORBIDLY OBESE"....

    I think you and your husband should still do this together. Maybe you'll have different goals. You might even eat a bit differently. And maybe you'll be doing different exercises. But you can support each other. You walk, and your husband does pushups. Maybe you're not physically side-by-side when you do them, but at the end of the day you can support each other.
  • Angel1066
    Angel1066 Posts: 816 Member
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    You can do do it and as everyone else has said no one will judge you. Good luck in your journey.
  • lilidelafield
    lilidelafield Posts: 14 Member
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    Hi Lacey! Don't give up trying. If you fall, get up and start again. I've been promising my doctor I would lose weight for the sake of my blood pressure being slightly elevated. He's just given up on me I think because he's put me on tablets. Now my motivation is to get off them again! I've lost (despite what my profile says), 10 pounds in the last three weeks, and it is largely due to signing in to MFP every day, being honest about what I am eating and keeping strict watch on my calorie intake. I only have another 120 pounds or so to lose! It isn't easy doing this on your own, but with everyone here rooting for you, you can do it. Just don't give up on yourself. Feel free to add me as a friend. All the best.