Self-sabotage

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jenna80302
jenna80302 Posts: 54 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi world,

I began my weight loss journey in late October 2014. At that point I was sick, tired, overworked, and depressed. Clocking in at 186 (my heaviest ever), I decided I needed to make a change. So I fired my trainer (best choice I ever made), participated in a raw/conscious food cleanse (please keep you judgement to yourselves - I live in Boulder, CO and its sort of the "norm" in my circle), and I decided to kick Gluten, Dairy, Soy, Corn, and Sugar to the curb.

Fast forward to Now (Late May 2015) and I find myself slipping back into unhealthy eating habits. Now, I am restricting my calories to offset the junk I put in... essentially falling back into my poor relationship with food. I know no one is perfect, and that is not what I am striving for. - BUT - how do you stay motivated when chicken and broccoli is no longer appealing, and all I want is a tasty microbrew? And what happens when those craving become more frequent?

For a long time I maintained an 80/20 lifestyle (eating healthy 80% of the time and crap the other 20%) coupled with light exercise (hiking, yoga, skiing), but now my 80/20 lifestyle is skewed in the other direction (crap 80% / healthy 20%). How do I stay motivated and get back on track? Today I weight 154.8 lbs, I am 5'7"... I have lost inches everywhere, and I think in my success I have gotten complacent. I still have ~27lbs to go, and I am worried that at the rate I am going, not only will I stall out but I will again begin to gain weight.

So, my question to all of you is... How do you stay motivated when you don't feel like there is an end in site, and you are perpetually making (albeit VERY conscious) bad choices?

Am I self-sabotaging?

Please help! Much love. - J.

Replies

  • yasminbower1991
    yasminbower1991 Posts: 63 Member
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    I am in the same situation as you, the last couple of weeks havent been so bad as i have only started using mfp, at my heaviest i was 182lbs, and now i am 127lbs, my lowest weight was 114lbs and i was very strict all the time to stay that weight.
    I find i do need to consciously put in the effort to make healthy choices and do tend to feel better for it, but if i have calories leftover at the end of the day and i feel like a vodka or a chocolate bar i will have it!
    be honest with yourself and track your calories as best you can,

    Best of luck @jenna80302

    Feel free to message me/add me for support x
  • nineteentwenty
    nineteentwenty Posts: 469 Member
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    Hello!

    I also get the crave for rich foods, it doesn't go away. Have you tried eating clean up until a certain point in the day, and then allowing yourself to satisfy a craving with a portion of your "bad" food that fits into your calorie budget? One treat per day, in the right size. That's how I keep from binging.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,714 Member
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    Congrats on your success so far! Not judging the way you eat - we all need to find what works for us.

    I think I'd say working on changing your mindset is the key at this point. There is no END. This is a life long lifestyle change. The 80/20 lifestyle works for a lot of people. Even then, it's not perfect 80/20 every day. Life happens and circumstances change.

    So, when you feel like you're slipping into bad habits and what you are currently doing isn't appealing anymore sometimes you have to find a new plan. The method that works for us initially is probably not what we will do for the rest of our lives. It is all about trial and error and adapting to our current circumstances.

    Allow yourself to have a microbrew! Make sure it fits your calories and try another protein, fish and whatever vegetables are in season. Change it up!
  • jenna80302
    jenna80302 Posts: 54 Member
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    I love all of these suggestions !!! I think I am in need of a change in perspective.


    Just thought of something... Did any of you make any other major changes while losing weight? Like a haircut or a style change ? Some days I feel like I'm having an identity crisis lol
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,714 Member
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    jenna80302 wrote: »
    I love all of these suggestions !!! I think I am in need of a change in perspective.


    Just thought of something... Did any of you make any other major changes while losing weight? Like a haircut or a style change ? Some days I feel like I'm having an identity crisis lol

    Yes, definitely! That's part of the process, IMHO. Can be drastic, but doesn't have to be. A few new clothes that really make you feel great, or new workout shoes that make you feel lighter on your feet - whatever works.
  • mstuck08
    mstuck08 Posts: 31 Member
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    Do you have support or motivation from anyone
  • jenna80302
    jenna80302 Posts: 54 Member
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    yes and no... I'm a relatively private person in real life so my friends and family only tend to see the outcome, while I hide the struggle.

    Probably not the most healthy way to deal with my problems ...
  • dsilenser
    dsilenser Posts: 1 Member
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    keep on keeping on. you havta trudge thru the muck that is the self-enemy. onwards and forwards.
  • JohnBarth
    JohnBarth Posts: 672 Member
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    In my non-educated opinion, you're suffering from the fear of success. You've enjoyed a great deal of success thus far and have either consciously or subconsciously realized that to both REACH and MAINTAIN your goal, you'll have to work as hard, or maybe even harder. To achieve our goals, we need to acknowledge that it's a lifestyle choice, and that means potentially permanent, and that's quite daunting.

    That all being said, enjoy the success you've achieved and try to focus on what got you there. Take one step at a time toward the habits that made you successful, and you'll be back on your way in no time!
  • tmwebster1
    tmwebster1 Posts: 4 Member
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    I completely relate to you, Jenna. I've been trying to lose the same 20 pounds for several years. At 55, and only 5'4" I teeter in the 160-165 range. Five years ago I was topping out at 175-178 and lost down to 150, then stalled. It's not so much the numbers on the scale, but yet it is, because I know as one who struggles with severe joint pain that losing the 20 pounds will make a huge difference. But it's SUCH a struggle. I'm even in a Food Issues group with Celebrate Recovery and STILL can't get 100% motivated. It's more like I have to get disgusted with myself than motivated. Ugh.
  • jenna80302
    jenna80302 Posts: 54 Member
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    These are all such valuable and inspiring comments... And for the first time in a long time I don't feel alone.

    Thank you for your support :)

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