Family Rant!

PeachyKeene
PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
edited September 27 in Chit-Chat
DON'T ASK ME TO BUY ALL THIS JUNK FOOD WHEN WE ARE GROCERY SHOPPING, DON'T ASK ME TO COOK YOU SOME BACON AND PANCAKES FOR SUPPER, DON'T MUNCH ON CHIPS WHEN WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE TOGETHER, DO SMACK ON YOUR DELICIOUS SUGARY CEREAL IN MY FACE. AND SURE AS H*** DON'T CALL ME A B****, WHEN I AM UPSET BECAUSE YOU DON'T CONSIDER HOW I FEEL! This is what I had to deal with this past weekend.

I just have to say, I always struggle on the weekends, during the weekdays it's not so bad, everyone is busy doing their own thing. I have a husband and three teenage children. I have just started the Dukan Diet and it doesn't allow for much messing up, so I work really hard to not being tempted by food. I wish my family were a little more considerate of my feelings about this.

Replies

  • quietlywinning
    quietlywinning Posts: 889 Member
    I'm sorry. :( Can you go shopping alone? On the rare occasion I get to do that, it is SO much easier to stick to my list and make healthy choices - and easier to not cook what I shouldn't eat or smell the chips, because that stuff isn't in the house. ;)

    I hope they will take a good look at your progress and become supportive!
  • sunflowermom2
    sunflowermom2 Posts: 37
    I hear you girl. I have the same issues at my house. One 14 year old a 4 year old and a husband that are so irritated with me because I won't buy junk food. Maybe you should sit them all down and explain to them how important it is to you that they not ask you to bring that kind of food in the house. Tell them that you are trying to get healthy so you can live to see them get married and have kids and if you eat that stuff you won't be around to see that happen. Maybe explaining it to them so they think it is to benefit them they might come around when they realize they my not have that free babysitting when they have kids . That is what I had to do. It has helped a lot also buy lots of sweet fruits and they will eventually want that instead of the junk food especially when they realize that if they want sweets and that is all that is in the frige. Hope this helps.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Thanks for your reply! I could go alone, but normally someone ask me if they can go with me and I feel bad saying no. But, if this is the way they are going to do, I guess I will have to next time. It is just frustrating, they know I NEED to lose the weight, they know I have a problem with will power, yet they continue to act like they do. I am constantly getting on to my family, telling nicely, but the moment I am not nice, it's my fault and I'm a blank. You know?
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    I hear you girl. I have the same issues at my house. One 14 year old a 4 year old and a husband that are so irritated with me because I won't buy junk food. Maybe you should sit them all down and explain to them how important it is to you that they not ask you to bring that kind of food in the house. Tell them that you are trying to get healthy so you can live to see them get married and have kids and if you eat that stuff you won't be around to see that happen. Maybe explaining it to them so they think it is to benefit them they might come around when they realize they my not have that free babysitting when they have kids . That is what I had to do. It has helped a lot also buy lots of sweet fruits and they will eventually want that instead of the junk food especially when they realize that if they want sweets and that is all that is in the frige. Hope this helps.

    Thanks, I will try to sit them down tonight and really lay it out for them. I know I am on the verge of having a heart attack before 40. My stress levels are way, way up. I stress over everything. I know they don't, but sometimes in the back of my mind I feel they do it just to push me to my limit.
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    Don't forget - YOU are the one who has changed. Unless I miss my guess, they are just doing what is normal for your household. They really don't deserve anger for that. I agree with sitting them down and explaining why you're doing what you're doing, but you really need to be patient with them, too. You're not just eating differently. Shopping, movies, and having mom cook for them is a totally different experience for them now. Those are all times that are often about more than food, and finding a healthy way to make them still fun may need to be on your to-do list.

    For instance, start using shopping as a way to teach nutrition. No, teenagers do not want to hear this, but when my teenager started to see food as a fuel to make him stronger, and have more endurance for his sports, he was interested. Every couple weeks, I let my children choose something new and healthy they'd like to try.

    Movies - switch to popcorn, or nuts. Teach about portion control - even with the chips. We are not allowed to eat out of the chip bag at our house. Check the back of the bag, count out how many chips and if you want it to last through the movie, you better eat slowly. :laugh:

    Cooking - start incorporating healthy items into what they already like - whole wheat in the pancakes, whole wheat pasta, a salad before they eat the main meal.

    This is actually one of the reasons my weight loss is going so slowly - because strict "diets" and loving a family that is already set in its ways very often don't mix. I will eat pizza with my kids on pizza night, I will cook bacon and pancakes for my family, and I will eat some chips. Because to me, my love for my family is more important to me than getting my diet perfect, and while my weight loss will give me opportuinty to love them for longer, right now, time and food is how they see my love. And honestly, doing it this way, this is the longest I've ever lasted on a "diet." My stress levels are low, and we're having a great time getting into hiking, swimming, and healthy eating - slowly, together.

    I know this was just a rant for you, but it's a rant I see occasionally, and it bothers me, because if moms on diets resent their husbands and kids for being normal while mom tries to change, then the relationships will get bad and it won't matter if we're still around in twenty years because they won't be talking to us anyway.
  • DESIREE1210
    DESIREE1210 Posts: 177 Member
    I more than understand this, I also have a husband and had 3 teens that are now adults who always wanted the junk.
    I was lucky and still am, I dont like chocolate or ice cream so i would buy these things for them and it never bothered me.
    Is there a treat they like and you don't particularly care for?
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Don't forget - YOU are the one who has changed. Unless I miss my guess, they are just doing what is normal for your household. They really don't deserve anger for that. I agree with sitting them down and explaining why you're doing what you're doing, but you really need to be patient with them, too. You're not just eating differently. Shopping, movies, and having mom cook for them is a totally different experience for them now. Those are all times that are often about more than food, and finding a healthy way to make them still fun may need to be on your to-do list.

    For instance, start using shopping as a way to teach nutrition. No, teenagers do not want to hear this, but when my teenager started to see food as a fuel to make him stronger, and have more endurance for his sports, he was interested. Every couple weeks, I let my children choose something new and healthy they'd like to try.

    Movies - switch to popcorn, or nuts. Teach about portion control - even with the chips. We are not allowed to eat out of the chip bag at our house. Check the back of the bag, count out how many chips and if you want it to last through the movie, you better eat slowly. :laugh:

    Cooking - start incorporating healthy items into what they already like - whole wheat in the pancakes, whole wheat pasta, a salad before they eat the main meal.

    This is actually one of the reasons my weight loss is going so slowly - because strict "diets" and loving a family that is already set in its ways very often don't mix. I will eat pizza with my kids on pizza night, I will cook bacon and pancakes for my family, and I will eat some chips. Because to me, my love for my family is more important to me than getting my diet perfect, and while my weight loss will give me opportuinty to love them for longer, right now, time and food is how they see my love. And honestly, doing it this way, this is the longest I've ever lasted on a "diet." My stress levels are low, and we're having a great time getting into hiking, swimming, and healthy eating - slowly, together.

    I know this was just a rant for you, but it's a rant I see occasionally, and it bothers me, because if moms on diets resent their husbands and kids for being normal while mom tries to change, then the relationships will get bad and it won't matter if we're still around in twenty years because they won't be talking to us anyway.

    You are right, I shouldn't be so hard on them. They are doing nothing different than what they normally do, and I should be so selfish to think they should make a change just because I decided to. Thanks for the wake up call.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    I more than understand this, I also have a husband and had 3 teens that are now adults who always wanted the junk.
    I was lucky and still am, I dont like chocolate or ice cream so i would buy these things for them and it never bothered me.
    Is there a treat they like and you don't particularly care for?

    Actually, I hate coconut, so that is a good Idea, I just need to make sure everything I buy that is junk food, has coconut in it. Then I won't be tempted to overindulge.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    I more than understand this, I also have a husband and had 3 teens that are now adults who always wanted the junk.
    I was lucky and still am, I dont like chocolate or ice cream so i would buy these things for them and it never bothered me.
    Is there a treat they like and you don't particularly care for?

    Actually, I hate coconut, so that is a good Idea, I just need to make sure everything I buy that is junk food, has coconut in it. Then I won't be tempted to overindulge or have any at all.
  • jenn2080
    jenn2080 Posts: 10
    I know how you feel, because my family does the same thing. My husband had me make him 2 cheeseburgers and strawberry shortcake with extra cool whip for dinner last night. I was literally talking to myself and saying it is just food and I don't need it. When I am tempted to stray of my diet watching my family eat all this yummy stuff, I will actually go and attempt to put the jeans on I want to fit into. Not being able to get the jeans past my knees is all the motivation I need to stick with my veggies and baked chicken. I know it is hard , but you are doing great!
  • KBrenOH
    KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
    I totally understand what you're saying. True - It's you that's changed and not them, but they could do a little changing too in support of YOU.

    My husband is a pain in my *kitten* about this. I try to buy healthier things at the store and he throws a fit about it because he doesn't like it. So I'm forced to either listen to his crap, or buy the unhealthier choice because we are on a VERY strict budget due to me being unemployed and simply can't afford to buy 2 of something. My favorite comment is, this isn't a restaurant and I'm not a short order cook! hehe.

    I wish he'd understand that I'm doing this as much for him and the kids as I am for me. And let's face it - he could stand to lose some weight too but yet wants to pick on my food choices or our son who is starting to get a little heavy as well.

    Feel free to friend me - I'd love to make some new friends that are going through the same obsticales and diets that I am.
  • KBrenOH
    KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
    I totally understand what you're saying. True - It's you that's changed and not them, but they could do a little changing too in support of YOU.

    My husband is a pain in my *kitten* about this. I try to buy healthier things at the store and he throws a fit about it because he doesn't like it. So I'm forced to either listen to his crap, or buy the unhealthier choice because we are on a VERY strict budget due to me being unemployed and simply can't afford to buy 2 of something. My favorite comment is, this isn't a restaurant and I'm not a short order cook! hehe.

    I wish he'd understand that I'm doing this as much for him and the kids as I am for me. And let's face it - he could stand to lose some weight too but yet wants to pick on my food choices or our son who is starting to get a little heavy as well.

    Feel free to friend me - I'd love to make some new friends that are going through the same obsticales and diets that I am.
  • Jizes318
    Jizes318 Posts: 409 Member
    Don't forget - YOU are the one who has changed. Unless I miss my guess, they are just doing what is normal for your household. They really don't deserve anger for that. I agree with sitting them down and explaining why you're doing what you're doing, but you really need to be patient with them, too. You're not just eating differently. Shopping, movies, and having mom cook for them is a totally different experience for them now. Those are all times that are often about more than food, and finding a healthy way to make them still fun may need to be on your to-do list.

    For instance, start using shopping as a way to teach nutrition. No, teenagers do not want to hear this, but when my teenager started to see food as a fuel to make him stronger, and have more endurance for his sports, he was interested. Every couple weeks, I let my children choose something new and healthy they'd like to try.

    Movies - switch to popcorn, or nuts. Teach about portion control - even with the chips. We are not allowed to eat out of the chip bag at our house. Check the back of the bag, count out how many chips and if you want it to last through the movie, you better eat slowly. :laugh:

    Cooking - start incorporating healthy items into what they already like - whole wheat in the pancakes, whole wheat pasta, a salad before they eat the main meal.

    This is actually one of the reasons my weight loss is going so slowly - because strict "diets" and loving a family that is already set in its ways very often don't mix. I will eat pizza with my kids on pizza night, I will cook bacon and pancakes for my family, and I will eat some chips. Because to me, my love for my family is more important to me than getting my diet perfect, and while my weight loss will give me opportuinty to love them for longer, right now, time and food is how they see my love. And honestly, doing it this way, this is the longest I've ever lasted on a "diet." My stress levels are low, and we're having a great time getting into hiking, swimming, and healthy eating - slowly, together.

    I know this was just a rant for you, but it's a rant I see occasionally, and it bothers me, because if moms on diets resent their husbands and kids for being normal while mom tries to change, then the relationships will get bad and it won't matter if we're still around in twenty years because they won't be talking to us anyway.

    I completely agree with this!
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