Gym anxiety is entirely psychological - and I haven't gotten over mine
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vypressme
Posts: 228 Member
It seems it doesn't matter how fat or skinny or ripped I am, if my outfit fits well or not, if I know where all the machines are and what they do. If I lift with good form or whatever heavy weight. If I have a six pack or a belly: my gym anxiety and the feeling of intimidation is always there. What if's are always there.
What if somebody notices I started with an isolation exercise? What if somebody thinks why am I squatting, when my shoulders are lagging and I should work that instead? What if I don't squat low enough or I get tired too easily? What if somebody notices I could only do 7 reps instead of 8?
It's a mindset. It's never going to change, no matter how I look like. Someone is always going to look better, do more, lift heavier, know more, etc. Someone is always going to pop up out of nowhere and seemingly know everyone. It's like kindergarten.
Before, it was that my belly was sticking out, water retention, felt weak. Now it's only a 4 pack, no traps, no pecs, no quad sweep, hips too wide, lats too high, wrists too tiny.
When is it going to end?
What if somebody notices I started with an isolation exercise? What if somebody thinks why am I squatting, when my shoulders are lagging and I should work that instead? What if I don't squat low enough or I get tired too easily? What if somebody notices I could only do 7 reps instead of 8?
It's a mindset. It's never going to change, no matter how I look like. Someone is always going to look better, do more, lift heavier, know more, etc. Someone is always going to pop up out of nowhere and seemingly know everyone. It's like kindergarten.
Before, it was that my belly was sticking out, water retention, felt weak. Now it's only a 4 pack, no traps, no pecs, no quad sweep, hips too wide, lats too high, wrists too tiny.
When is it going to end?
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Replies
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I really thought I was the only one...I always like to go late because I feel like everyone judges me...0
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Is this really about the gym? Please remember that if anyone IS looking at you and (they probably aren't) it's either because they are impressed with you and your dedication OR they themselves are insecure and are looking at you to see how they need to change something THEY are doing. If by chance they do have a critical mindset then that's about them being mean-spirited and its not about you AT ALL! Don't criticize yourself or hold yourself up in comparison with ANYONE else! We are all different. We all have different abilities. We all have a different level of experience. We all can learn and improve and grow---not just in our muscle mass or knowledge of gym routines and equipment but grow in our ability to love and enjoy ourselves and not beat ourselves up. Would you allow someone to criticize your best friend or little brother or sister the way it sounds like you criticize yourself? Probably not, so LOVE yourself instead and accept and embrace all you imperfections because we've all got them!0
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I know, it can be difficult for some to overcome that, but consider one thing: Everyone has his or her own story that determines how they interpret things. Everyone. If someone is truly judging you (which, they do anyway no matter where you are, not just the gym) that is not in your control at all. But it's okay. What they think is of no concern to you. If you feel self-confident in general, you tend to be more self-confident in the gym. If you don't, then you may not. I would keep at it though and if it is something you truly can't get over, seek assistance on that. You look great and even if you didn't...showing up at the gym and doing your thing speaks volumes for yourself as well as to everyone around you. I wish I could just help make you feel better about it, but it just so happens that is something only you can do for you. I hope it gets better for you.0
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Anxiety IS a psychological phenomenon. That doesn't make it any less painful, or, for some people, easier to resolve. I don't have an easy answer, but I wouldn't beat myself up about it. Keep exploring ways not to be so bothered.0
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irishdancer214 wrote: »I really thought I was the only one...I always like to go late because I feel like everyone judges me...
Same here!0 -
That's why I have a full gym in my house. No one judges me there. Except for my dog. He's really judgmental.
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As someone who just started going to the gym about a month ago- I totally get it. For the first 5-6 times I went I wouldn't do anything except the treadmill. I would walk by the machines- I really wanted to start lifting- and get scared and just keep walking. Finally, my hubby went over with me and helped me one machine. And told me that if u r over there, people give u credit for trying. At least your doing something. And least you're not on the couch. I did six machines today and am so proud of myself. And I feel awesome!! My next goal is to get up the nerve to try the free weights.
Set yourself a goal. Just one small within your reach attainable goal. Push. You can do this.0 -
It seems it doesn't matter how fat or skinny or ripped I am, if my outfit fits well or not, if I know where all the machines are and what they do. If I lift with good form or whatever heavy weight. If I have a six pack or a belly: my gym anxiety and the feeling of intimidation is always there. What if's are always there.
What if somebody notices I started with an isolation exercise? What if somebody thinks why am I squatting, when my shoulders are lagging and I should work that instead? What if I don't squat low enough or I get tired too easily? What if somebody notices I could only do 7 reps instead of 8?
It's a mindset. It's never going to change, no matter how I look like. Someone is always going to look better, do more, lift heavier, know more, etc. Someone is always going to pop up out of nowhere and seemingly know everyone. It's like kindergarten.
Before, it was that my belly was sticking out, water retention, felt weak. Now it's only a 4 pack, no traps, no pecs, no quad sweep, hips too wide, lats too high, wrists too tiny.
When is it going to end?
Well...what if somebody notices some of these things? What will happen? Will the world end if you don't squat low enough or if you get tired too easily or you can only do 7 reps instead of 8? No. In truth, if somebody notices these things, or other things about you, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. Except in your head.
If you believe your mindset will never change, then it won't. Yes, somebody IS always going to look better, do more, lift heavier, know more. Somebody is ALSO going to look worse, do less, lift lighter, know less. You cannot live your life constantly comparing yourself to others. You are unique, with special talents nobody else has. There is NOT ONE PERSON in the world like you. There is just you. Focus on you. And accept that other people will always be different from you.0 -
This is why home gym equipment sells so well. I often find in difficult to concentrate on what I am doing at the gym. I HATE it when someone gets on the treadmill next to me. Yet..it is the best I am able to do for now. So I put on my headphones..and keep going.0
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If you are doing all of that, how in the world do you get your workout done? I guess I have the opposite, I have the mindset that I am the Boss Chick in the gym. It is all about me, so I pay attention to no one else except the Boss Chick in the mirror and her workout. All of that sound tiring.
BTW, when I started going to the gym, I was kissing 300lbs.0 -
@dolliesdaughter - Boss chick - I like that
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I was super self conscious when I was at a higher weight. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing...I wore really loose fitting clothing. Kept to myself. People looked at me, but it was more then because I looked like I didn't belong/know what I was doing/had no confidence. Did my bike workout, kept my head down, did some half-hearted weights. I know this because I was told that and had well-meaning people state it.
Now I go in with my workout clothes (that show some of my lumps and bumps but whatever), get on the treadmill and crush my 30min run (even if it means doing it in chunks with walk in between), lift my weights, and walk around looking and feeling like a boss. If people want to look, I say go for it. I am not ashamed because I am there doing the work and I want people to see. Now if people say anything, they say I look like a bad-*kitten* or admire the fact that I am capable of doing what I do even though I may not look that fit yet.
Own your gym time. You are there for you, not for others.0 -
No one else cares. They honestly are focused on their own work out and getting out of there so that they can get back home/ back to work. They only notice if you are being exceptionally rude like overly hogging the equipment.0
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@vypressme: I was really worried about what everyone was going to think of me too, when I first went to the gym. So I stuck to the treadmills and the closest to the door or pole, so I wouldn't be seen. I walked, and slow. I wore baggy clothes. It was horrible. Do I still compare myself to others? Yes, because that's my insecurity.. that i'm not good enough. But I am good enough. So it took me a little bit to feel comfortable.. and I had a buddy come with me a few times. I do the circuit training, some of the "free/pin weights", treadmill, and core. I wear yoga pants and a tank top or a more form fitting shirt. People look now, like they did then. It doesn't bother me now. We are all in the same place, doing the same thing.
Just keep going! You are doing an awesome job, and you look great!0 -
In can end when you accept this insecurity you have. Someone will do or be more of what you describe above. Should that take away from what you have already accomplish?0
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It's a mindset. It's never going to change, no matter how I look like.
It can change, but changing your body isn't going to cause that to happen. You have to change the way you THINK. You must learn to accept yourself, imperfections and all, and to not put so much weight on what everyone else thinks of you. If this is a struggle, you might want to talk to therapist about it, they can help you work on this.
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