Feeling down - help

I have ~ 20 pounds to lose and I'm feeling very discouraged. In case you're wondering my profile pic is not current.... its when I was my 'best' in late 2012.

I can't seem to be consistent with exercise.... I do really good one week, and the next week, I don't move at all.

Then, of course, I don't see any movement on the scale... but by then I am discouraged and feel bad about the way I look and feel and talk to myself.

Feeling bad.... makes me not want to do anything. And it preys on me.

I feel like i can't do this. Like I should give up, buy a mumu and a grabbin' stick, sit on the couch and devolve into a breathing mountain of flesh.

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right"

    You need to find your reasons for why you want to do it more than your reasons for sitting on the couch....
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    Woah back up a second. 20lb is not a huge goal. At 1lb a week it will take you 5 months.

    Five months in the grand scheme of your life is nothing.

    Exercise isn't needed for weight loss. It's for health and gives you bonus calories to eat back if you wish.

    Do you weigh food and liquids on a good scale? Are you sticking to your deficit?
  • TiffanyR71
    TiffanyR71 Posts: 217 Member
    You can lose weight regardless of whether or not you exercise (though exercise helps). Log your food, eat at a deficit- you will lose weight. Good luck!
  • ManiacalLaugh
    ManiacalLaugh Posts: 1,048 Member
    I'm all for the grabbin' stick. Those things are awesome.

    But don't give up. Slipping is okay. What matters is that you're not "writing it off" and go back to your chosen regimine after the slip. And - aimeerace is correct. I work with a licensed and degreed dietician/personal trainer (just saying that to back up the reason why I trust her). When I told her about my frustration with exercising regularly and my exhaustion from it, she said:

    "There are 100 reasons to exercise - but I want you to stop thinking of weight loss as one of them." This has been more helpful than any other piece of advice I've gotten.

    Exercise if it makes you feel good and to stay healthy in other ways, but don't stress about it. Watch your intake to lose.
  • pzarnosky
    pzarnosky Posts: 256 Member
    You didn't get where you're at now in a day/week/month, you're also not going to get where you want to be in a day/week/month. Weight loss is not easy, and it's not fast, and our instant gratification society makes it that much more difficult. Commit to it. It can take 6 weeks or more for you to notice a change in your body with exercise, and it can take the people in your life around 12 weeks to notice. I've been working my butt off weightlifting since early november and it took til May for people to notice all of my new muscles. If this was easy we'd all look like fitness models...
  • beemerphile1
    beemerphile1 Posts: 1,710 Member
    I have ~ 20 pounds to lose and I'm feeling very discouraged. In case you're wondering my profile pic is not current.... its when I was my 'best' in late 2012.

    I can't seem to be consistent with exercise.... I do really good one week, and the next week, I don't move at all.

    Then, of course, I don't see any movement on the scale... but by then I am discouraged and feel bad about the way I look and feel and talk to myself.

    Feeling bad.... makes me not want to do anything. And it preys on me.

    I feel like i can't do this. Like I should give up, buy a mumu and a grabbin' stick, sit on the couch and devolve into a breathing mountain of flesh.

    Well if that is the way you want to live....

    You can do this, many of us have already done it. When you want it bad enough, you will succeed.
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    Don't exercise. Go outside and play.

    I don't have time for an exercise that I don't enjoy. I ride my bicycle, but less because I need the exercise and more because I enjoy it. It gets me out of the house and it gives me an opportunity to see what is going on in the neighborhood. And afterward, I feel great.

    Do I always feel like riding? No, but I discovered that if I'll commit to putting in as little as five miles, I'll have at least twenty before I get home. When I feel the worst is when I need to ride the most.
  • Haha, I totally understand. It's tough staying committed. We all feel like that some time or another.

    But this is important to me. I suspect it's important to you. (You wouldn't be here if it weren't.)

    20 pounds isn't impossible. You just need a plan that works for you. Find some calories you can cut without making yourself miserable. Find an activity you enjoy that'll burn some extra calories. Exercising is boring to me. I hate it. But I like walking. And riding my bicycle. Swimming and snorkeling is fun. I bet you can find something you enjoy, too!

    This is important to you. You can do it.
    I believe in you.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
    Just figure out in your head what you need to do practically to go about it. Implement small changes. calculate your TDEE and eat 250-500 cals (a day) below it. Track/log or count your cals in your head. Exercise if you want to help make the deficit bigger. Buy the Mumu anyway because they are cool as Fu@k. Good luck.
  • tyb03
    tyb03 Posts: 52 Member
    I am in a similar situation. For a few days or so things are going great, then it all goes downhill. I get stuck there because I figure well, Ive already screwed up. I become miserable & feel down also. The crazy thing is I actually don't mind the workouts, its the not eating certain foods that gets me.
  • RiffsnBarbells
    RiffsnBarbells Posts: 27 Member
    aimeerace wrote: »
    Woah back up a second. 20lb is not a huge goal. At 1lb a week it will take you 5 months.

    Five months in the grand scheme of your life is nothing.

    Exercise isn't needed for weight loss. It's for health and gives you bonus calories to eat back if you wish.

    Do you weigh food and liquids on a good scale? Are you sticking to your deficit?

    While this is technically true, most people that I know who only lose weight by dieting often go back to the same weight they were (yo-yo). I think exercise, especially putting on muscle, makes it much easier to lose weight and keep it off.
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
    aimeerace wrote: »
    Woah back up a second. 20lb is not a huge goal. At 1lb a week it will take you 5 months.

    Five months in the grand scheme of your life is nothing.

    Exercise isn't needed for weight loss. It's for health and gives you bonus calories to eat back if you wish.

    Do you weigh food and liquids on a good scale? Are you sticking to your deficit?

    Thanks. A 20 pound loss is what will put me back at a reasonable size. I know it doesn't seem like much to many ppl, but it is a lot to me.
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
    tyb03 wrote: »
    I am in a similar situation. For a few days or so things are going great, then it all goes downhill. I get stuck there because I figure well, Ive already screwed up. I become miserable & feel down also. The crazy thing is I actually don't mind the workouts, its the not eating certain foods that gets me.

    Thanks. It's nice to know that others get into that spiral. I can be really hard on myself.
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    Just figure out in your head what you need to do practically to go about it. Implement small changes. calculate your TDEE and eat 250-500 cals (a day) below it. Track/log or count your cals in your head. Exercise if you want to help make the deficit bigger. Buy the Mumu anyway because they are cool as Fu@k. Good luck.

    LOL! Yes I'm going to rock that *kitten* !
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    aimeerace wrote: »
    Woah back up a second. 20lb is not a huge goal. At 1lb a week it will take you 5 months.

    Five months in the grand scheme of your life is nothing.

    Exercise isn't needed for weight loss. It's for health and gives you bonus calories to eat back if you wish.

    Do you weigh food and liquids on a good scale? Are you sticking to your deficit?

    Thanks. A 20 pound loss is what will put me back at a reasonable size. I know it doesn't seem like much to many ppl, but it is a lot to me.

    Oh please don't misunderstand me. I wasn't making light of your goal. Just saying that 20lb isn't a loss to be panicking about. You can do this! :)
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
    Haha, I totally understand. It's tough staying committed. We all feel like that some time or another.

    But this is important to me. I suspect it's important to you. (You wouldn't be here if it weren't.)

    20 pounds isn't impossible. You just need a plan that works for you. Find some calories you can cut without making yourself miserable. Find an activity you enjoy that'll burn some extra calories. Exercising is boring to me. I hate it. But I like walking. And riding my bicycle. Swimming and snorkeling is fun. I bet you can find something you enjoy, too!

    This is important to you. You can do it.
    I believe in you.

    THANK YOU !!! I teared up when I read that. I think one of my problems is that *I* don't believe in me.

  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member


    Thanks. A 20 pound loss is what will put me back at a reasonable size. I know it doesn't seem like much to many ppl, but it is a lot to me. [/quote]

    Oh please don't misunderstand me. I wasn't making light of your goal. Just saying that 20lb isn't a loss to be panicking about. You can do this! :) [/quote]

    Thanks. I get you. Not panicking... I've been watching my food (not consistently logging, but eating better and avoiding junk), somewhat exercising, and not seeing any changes in the scale. I know I need to tighten it ALL up to see good results but my shame spiral is a major impediment.

    Three weeks ago I was *SO* happy that my weight finally dropped below 160. I felt like I was making progress. Then a few days later i was back above 160. I know this is totally normal, but it really messes with my head. The "emotional" side of brain cares not about water weight. I stayed off the scale for a couple weeks, got back on MFP (sporadically) and started the South Beach diet this week. I got on the scale this morning..... 160.5. I wish I could say "I Don't Care" but I DO. So, shame spiral.

    On a positive note - yesterday I was at training, and they served a huge buffet of pastries.... I stuck to my diet and ate nothing. In the afternoon, I attended an awards ceremony, complete with a massive cake.... i ate... none of it! And today.... cake in the break room for a retiring colleague..... again i stuck to my guns! Even when people kept passing me cake, i just passed it along :)
  • You don't have to believe anything. All you have to do is make your goals and stick to them ;)
    Haha, no belief required. Just stay on your goals. It's important.
  • RedMiataAZ
    RedMiataAZ Posts: 65 Member
    Take the twenty pounds and make smaller attainable goals. Instead of one twenty pound goal, break it up into 4 five pound goals. Make it manageable and attainable. Two years ago I weighed 195lbs+ and now I am close to my goal of 155. Still haven't hit it yet but still trying. I am going thru my second plateau and still trying to hit that goal.

    Stay motivated!
    "Divide and Conquer"