negative rant
12skipafew99100
Posts: 1,669 Member
I'm crying. I want to eat the bag of pot stickers I have in the freezer. I want to cook them all and sit down to eat eat eat. I love them. It would be like a mental vacation. I want to drink and change my mind. Drink a whole bottle of wine which I don't have here. I would have to go get it. But I have beer. I could drink that. but I would feel bloated and puffy and gassy. Then a nice head ache would come later.
Food
I still cry. I want it. Be strong. I am not hungry. Just wait wait.........wait for it to pass.
What is it about eating that is a mental vacation to me? I know eating excessively is what got me into this horrible fat body in the first place. I know what to do to get thin. So why do I still want to eat too much? Why do I keep making the choices that keep me fat? It only leads to more regret and self loathing.
I hate the way I feel physically. My fat stomach is very uncomfortable. I am very self conscious about it. The weight of it makes me unhappy because I feel unattractive, frumpy, tired and I know its bad for my health.
Am I addicted to food? Is it like a drug for me? How do I get out from under it and just do what I need to do to be who I want to be?
Food
I still cry. I want it. Be strong. I am not hungry. Just wait wait.........wait for it to pass.
What is it about eating that is a mental vacation to me? I know eating excessively is what got me into this horrible fat body in the first place. I know what to do to get thin. So why do I still want to eat too much? Why do I keep making the choices that keep me fat? It only leads to more regret and self loathing.
I hate the way I feel physically. My fat stomach is very uncomfortable. I am very self conscious about it. The weight of it makes me unhappy because I feel unattractive, frumpy, tired and I know its bad for my health.
Am I addicted to food? Is it like a drug for me? How do I get out from under it and just do what I need to do to be who I want to be?
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Replies
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I think most of us that have overweight issues love to eat. It's the choices of food and quantitiy also. I'm down 134 pounds and I've gone from eating ice cream and chips, burgers, fries, and milkshakes to Vegetable, Fruits, Fat free ranch, sugar fee jello , sugar free cool whip, sugar fee jellos, sugar free twin pops. Quaker rice cakes, (chocolate flavor) peanuts, fat free chips, only 70 caloires per serving (I always have atleast 1.5 or 2 servings) Get my drift, even though I'm over eating sometimes the things I'm eating are way less calories than what I used too. Good Luck!! Drink plenty of water and occasionally I fix myself sugar free maragaritas!!0
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Have you ever tried journaling so you can see what emotions you are feeling when you want to run to food? I am an emotional eater so when I am feeling like I want to run to food I slow down and ask myself why I am reacting (because this is a reaction and not hunger). And what triggered me to want to complete such a self defeating act? More often than not there IS a true reason but it takes me a minute to get past the "reaction" and uncover the true trigger. Then I deal with the trigger and stay away from the food.0
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I think most of us that have overweight issues love to eat. It's the choices of food and quantitiy also. I'm down 134 pounds and I've gone from eating ice cream and chips, burgers, fries, and milkshakes to Vegetable, Fruits, Fat free ranch, sugar fee jello , sugar free cool whip, sugar fee jellos, sugar free twin pops. Quaker rice cakes, (chocolate flavor) peanuts, fat free chips, only 70 caloires per serving (I always have atleast 1.5 or 2 servings) Get my drift, even though I'm over eating sometimes the things I'm eating are way less calories than what I used too. Good Luck!! Drink plenty of water and occasionally I fix myself sugar free maragaritas!!
Are those Skinnygirl Margaritas?0 -
I want to reply, but I am at work! I will write to you later on. In the meantime, hang in there, do not cook the potstickers. If you really want them, make a single serving. It's ok to eat foods you like, just keep the quantity down
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Have you ever tried journaling so you can see what emotions you are feeling when you want to run to food? I am an emotional eater so when I am feeling like I want to run to food I slow down and ask myself why I am reacting (because this is a reaction and not hunger). And what triggered me to want to complete such a self defeating act? More often than not there IS a true reason but it takes me a minute to get past the "reaction" and uncover the true trigger. Then I deal with the trigger and stay away from the food.
Good idea. I am very good at hiding my feelings from myself. They fester until I just explode due to excess stress.0 -
Normalg I agree, i still eat a decent amount but instead of HUGE bowls of ice cream now I munch on popcorn or rice cakes and lots of fruit and vegetables. I am not starving myself, but i have changed what I eat0
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it takes a while to get good at this, and you seem really overwhelmed and stressed at the changes you know you need to make. Hang in there!
Did you eat breakfast or lunch? you have not put them in your diary, so i wasnt sure. Your body need fuel and sustenance.
I suggest:
drink some water.
put on some sneakers and go for a walk.
get out and clear your head.
come back and plan a healthy lunch and or dinner.
if you go over your cals, its ok! you are gonna get this and its going to be amazing!0 -
I think you will find that the more you eat healthy and control your portions, the less you will crave "bad" things and the less you will be *able* to overeat. This is what I have experienced personally. Sure, I still have cravings for "bad" food, and I let myself have it sometimes. And on the times when I let myself overeat, I find that I can't eat as much as I used to. My body just doesn't want or tolerate that anymore.
Also, if you truly think you might have an addiction, please do seek out professional help. There's no shame in doing something to help yourself get to where/who you want to be.0 -
My two cents... you want wine? Have wine. You want Pot stickers? Have them. If you feel like you have to live without something and you're going through things like this, you probably won't be able to keep it up and stick to your plan to lose weight.
I personally think the key is to deprive yourself of NOTHING. But learn about moderation in all things. You can't eat the entire bag of pot stickers. But you can have two or three. You can't drink the entire bottle of wine. But you can have a glass. And you track the calories and make sure you are within your daily goals. Maybe get a little extra exercise to make up for it.
You can't have those empty calories every day, you need to eat with nutrition in mind. But you CAN and MUST treat yourself once in a while. I have a couple of glasses of wine a week. If the kids have candy or whatever, if I feel a craving, I have some. I just make sure I don't over indulge or do it every day, and I try to exercise to make up for it.
Don't make your quest to lose weight into torture! Learn to have what you love in moderation.0 -
Therapy is good stuff. Shockingly enough- there are a few of us on here. I strongly recommend it to heal from whatever is causing you to feel that food is a mental vacation.
Prayers ascending +0 -
unfortunately, there're no easy answers here. i struggle with the same thing every day. my problem has never been eating too much because i never feel full- it's always been eating too much because food makes me feel good like nothing else can. i always associate eating with positive memories- specifically, every kind of food that i shouldn't be eating. i eat when i'm bored, when i'm tired, when i'm stressed, when i'm anxious or depressed, and especially when i'm just plain pissed off. eating food that i like takes my mind off my problems for a little while. distractions sometimes help, sites like these sometimes help, writing in a journal sometimes helps, but sometimes it's just not enough, and in the end, if things are bad enough, and you feel as if you can't fight it on your own, you may need to seek professional help, and let me clarify here and now that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. you are not alone in this.0
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Ohhhh I know what you mean, this weight loss malarky is the hardest thing in the world, I am having an off day today, all I want to do is stuff my face, although have nothing in the house to enable me to do, melon doesn't meet the same need as cake!
I find is soooo hard watching my skinny friends eat what they like when ever they like and how ever much.
I sit at work counting the minutes down to my next meal, thinking about food all the time. It has to be the toughest cycle in the world to break, but you can do this. I have a cuppa savour the flavour, I know its not my oh so excitng lunch or dinner, but I love tea so it does the trick just to take my mind of wanting to stuff my face.
They say it takes 28days to break a habit, even of one of a lifetime. I think breaking the foody habits I have will take an awful lot longer, but I look at my food diary and my tracker on here and can see how far I have come, when people tell me I look lovely in that dress, or I go to put on something I haven't worn in a while and it doesn't quite fit as it should thats the little things I try to remind myself to keep myself motivated to my goal.
I do believe my mentality of food obsession is vastly different to those of my skinny friends, I think those of us who have and are big, our relationship with food is so different, and I don't ever thing I will have a skinny mentality with food.
You can do this. Maybe keep post-it notes on the fridge/round a mirror/on cupboards of your achievements or what people have said to you will help turn your frown upside down.0 -
You poor thing... sounds like a stressful day.
Like the others are saying you can still have good things, and journaling would be a great idea.
You are eating because you are emotional, and there are many people like that, my mother was one of them. You can do this you just need to distract yourself from food and find something else that will help you express your feelings!
Do you have people around you that support you trying to lose weight?0 -
Oh sweetie, I know just how you feel, you can do this, but only one day at a time. You are WOMAN, hear your roar. Not only that, you have taken the first step just being here on this supportive, awesome site. We are all on this journey together and we are truly fighting for our very lives. Food is a very powerful addiction but you can beat it and replace it with great winning attitude, strong get my butt to the gym motivation, yes isn't water the cats meow, and I love myself more than that delicious brownie. I feel like the important thing to remember is we are all human and you will make mistakes, brush it off and keep going don't let that be the turning point for a spiral down. I believe in you, your loved ones believe in you and you should believe in yourself as well. Fight for it, take it and then crow about it from the rooftops!!!! YOU GO GIRL! Friend me if you want, I also just started this new me lifestyle!!!!0
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I just got a drink of water and was going out the door for a walk when I decided to check this site again. The support is overwhelming! thank you everyone. It is helpful to know many of you understand what I am going through.
Thank you thank you thank you..............
be back soon0 -
47x47... I would suggest using "pattern interrupts". I learned the technique from one of Tony Robbin's audio series.
For example, if you always go to work, come home and have a beer... and you want to stop drinking... go someplace else after work before you go home. It breaks up the pattern your brain has been programed to act on.
If you are the type that hears candy wrappers being opened and start to crave candy yourself, open a candy bar and dance, or laugh or jump. It sounds silly but you really can reprogram your patterns.
Try it!0 -
right there with you. so many over weight ppl use food as a fix. it really is possible to be addicted to food just as well as anything. just like the alcholic who drinks to be numb, we eat for our personal reasons. A lot of times I enduldge due to depression and empty feelings. sometimes I think that I am doomed to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I have a lot of stress in my life at the moment. so much of it isnt necessary.The past 2 months I have stopped making the right choices. Eating like crazy, which just made things worst because then I felt guilty about what i alouded myself to put into my mouth.
As someone esle said cook yourself one portion and enjoy them. If you think that one serving will lead to a binge, then steer away from them completely for the moment. Until a day you dont feel like eating the world. I know sometimes things are easier said than done. I find my biggest helper is to get out of the house even if it is just to go window shopping. Right now I am at the local library because of ppl who have recently moved in our household and I cant stand them. Mostly because I do not agree with their parenting. Also because they are always pawning the toddler off on me so they can go get drunk. If they actually had a job I might not mind as much. Although I really do not like kids. I learnt this after having my one and only child who is grown.
Journaling really does help to get it out on paper. It is a great form of release. So many of us are holding on to so many secrets that are gnawing away at our well being.
Another suggestion would be to look into a 12 step program. I have taught about this. I use to go to N.A. years ago due to drug issues, I really liked it. Honestly, food was my first addiction and the other came about because someone introduced it to me when I was voulerable and told me it would help me loose weight. It did although I lost a lot more than the weight. I never followed threw with it, just did what I had to do to get out of trouble.
Best of luck to you.0 -
47x47... I would suggest using "pattern interrupts". I learned the technique from one of Tony Robbin's audio series.
For example, if you always go to work, come home and have a beer... and you want to stop drinking... go someplace else after work before you go home. It breaks up the pattern your brain has been programed to act on.
If you are the type that hears candy wrappers being opened and start to crave candy yourself, open a candy bar and dance, or laugh or jump. It sounds silly but you really can reprogram your patterns.
Try it!
Interesting. I never heard of this before. I'm going to look into it and try it. Thanks.0 -
You poor thing... sounds like a stressful day.
Like the others are saying you can still have good things, and journaling would be a great idea.
You are eating because you are emotional, and there are many people like that, my mother was one of them. You can do this you just need to distract yourself from food and find something else that will help you express your feelings!
Do you have people around you that support you trying to lose weight?
I do have people to support me but it seems like if I slip, they let me. I guess we will have to have a talk about that.0
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