I don't want to diet or die, I want to live.

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  • grandmothercharlie
    grandmothercharlie Posts: 1,361 Member
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    You've lost weight before so you know what to do. You seem like an intelligent young lady and can see that others have done it, have given you ideas, and you can do it, too. You didn't ask for any advice, so I will simply say, "Good luck!" It is good that you are thinking about yourself.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    Walkonfire is right. I'm prediabetic and I'm having to follow the same guidelines in order not to make matters astronomically worse. If any junk food remains, throw it away. If you have to avoid walking down certain aisles in the store, that's perfectly fine. After a while junk cravings will go way down and those things will begin tasting nasty as natural whole foods get nicer and nicer to you.
  • rushfive
    rushfive Posts: 603 Member
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    You have already been given great advice on diet, but I think you also need to deal with the emotional/stress eating. imo. Maybe do a search on here about it. You seem to already know how to lose the weight, Now deal with emotions/stress. You seem like a wonderful person and so young, you can do this.
    Do you have a hobby? That may help with emotional eating... (just typing out loud.) :)
    So sorry for your loss. Best of luck to you !
  • Lynniebinny76
    Lynniebinny76 Posts: 455 Member
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    You can, and you WILL do this. For your husband, and for you. This change in mindset doesn't happen overnight, its a journey. You have a lot of really great amazing people here that will walk that journey with you on the good and bad days.
    -Tell people in your life you are doing this - it will help make you accountable because you know they will be checking in on how you're doing.
    -Add people from MFP to your friends list. It has to start with you, but there are people here walking a similar walk and are ready for change.
    -I haven't looked at your profile, but if you haven't already, make your food diary public so you can get the most out of this app. And, it's another way to hold yourself accountable knowing people may look at your food diary.
    -Lastly, don't give up. You may get sidelined with illness, sadness, busyness of life - but always come back. And don't be embarassed about what may have taken you away. Get back to logging and exercising (to whatever capacity) the very next second. Not the next monday, or the following month - right away.

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I haven't been there, I can't say 'it will get better', but I am happy to help be on your journey from here forward in bettering your health.
  • 2009jewellz
    2009jewellz Posts: 187 Member
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    999tigger wrote: »
    I wont get into semantics, but when you say you dont want to diet i'm not sure whether thats a refusal to do anything or its simply what you really want is to go about changing the way you love which will continue as a lifestyle even when youve lost the weight? I think its that just making sure.

    Im in the UK and its 4am here,so am not really awake. Ok if I was in your position then id be thinking along the following lines off the top of my head.

    1. Take responsibility for your situation, im sorry for your loss, but the diabetes and weight are soemthing youve done to yourself. Theres also a heap load of other health risks associated with being severely over weight. Its one of the things that motivated me.
    2. A lot of this is a mental game, so you might be enthusiasic now, just like in prvious times, but you need to know you can stick with something and see it right through to the end. Then the more difficcult challenge of keeping it off. have a start to think about whats driving you to lose weight and the advantages for you, hink how much it means and whether you are willing to do what it takes. Commitment is crucial as is a clear understanding of why.
    3. The next bit you need is knowledge. You talk about change of lifestyle, which I think is what MFP is all about, good habits rather than current habits. For that you need knowledge, not just in how to lose weight safely and sustainably, but how to get from beginning to end.

    Its also importnat to understand and tic your diabetes. It is possible to reverse it.

    Try these.
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
    https://www.diabetes.org.uk/Newly-diagnosed-with-diabetes/
    https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/managing-your-diabetes/healthy-eating/
    https://www.diabetes.org.uk/Guide-to-diabetes/Managing-your-diabetes/Exercise/

    Imo its importnat to learn and understand how all this works for yourself. If you dont spend the time then you will not be as efficient, you wont be able to answer many question or make good choices.

    You will also need to deal with eating your feelings.

    4. Then make a plan that suits you , clear, simple and easy to follow.
    5. Keep your targets small, get used to mfp logging, get some kitchen scales , read an article, go for a 5 minute walk etc small things that you cna achieve and feel you are making progress. you treat each day as a fresh challenge.
    6. Weight loss is about consistent calorific deficit. For your lifestyle you cna learn about how much you actually need, some info about nutrition and using exercise to get fit and healthier.
    7. Learn to be realistic and patient. use this site and learn, then simply do. Its about making more good choices than bad, keeping going and learn from mistakes. Be your own best friend, dont get overwhelmed, but be determined. You cna do it if you commit and really want to change.
    8. The good thing is you can still have a generous calorie allowance due to your weight and still lose. You will also lose faster than others with less to lose.


    I cannot emphasise enough that you can do it, but you have to commit and be prepared to deal with obstacles that are in your way. Good luck.


    Oh my goodness, all of this is good advice!! Especially #4 that's what put me on the right path.
  • 2009jewellz
    2009jewellz Posts: 187 Member
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    AmandaOlffJames wrote: »
    I have been over weight my entire adult life, I started putting on weight when I was in the 5th grade. I weighed over 250 pounds when I graduated from high school. My weight has yo-yoed from as low as 235 to as high as 400 pounds. I have lost 100 pounds 3 times and always gained it back plus some. I have eaten to deal with all kinds of emotions. I turned to food as a comfort for everything. But, when my husband started getting ill and spending week after week in the hospital and trips to the ER became a weekly thing I would eat to deal with the stress. I weighed in at just over 400 pounds. My husband encouraged me to eat better, but he wouldn't do it himself even though he was supposed to follow a renal diet once he started Dialysis. I managed to get down to 350 not long before my husband passed away. Then the depression really hit and food became my drug of choice. When my clothes started getting tight again I knew there was an issue. I also started getting thirsty and exhausted all the time. I went to the Dr and she tested my blood sugar. Found that I have type 2 diabetes. She put me on Meds and told me I have to get some weight off. My goal is to loose at least 80 pounds. I don't want to die, I don't want to diet. I want to learn to live healthy, to eat right, to be active. I want to be the person my husband knew I could be.

    Amanda, I had to eat less and move more. I don't always feel like it, but I do it as if my life is depending on me. You can do this miss lady. You can. Please take care of you I added you. Keep in touch.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    I'm very sorry for your loss. In addition to what others have said here, I would urge you to look for a psychologist who can help you sort out the emotional issues. You are worth it! When we are really ready and willing for help, it can make such a difference. Look for someone who you connect with, preferably with a background in treating binge eating disorder.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    AmandaOlffJames wrote: »
    My goal is to loose at least 80 pounds. I don't want to die, I don't want to diet. I want to learn to live healthy, to eat right, to be active. I want to be the person my husband knew I could be.

    At my highest I was just over 280 pounds. It's taken me two years and a lot of medical help to lose ninety pounds and counting. MFP allows me to eat a wide range of foods while enjoying the journey. I wish the same for you.

    I am so thrilled as my lighter self to be able to be strong, active and mobile. I run and jump and zip up the stairs just because I can.

    I suggest for the first few weeks just get used to journalling consistently. MFP will start telling you more and more about what you are eating, which will be an education in itself.

    The next step is to measure accurately.

    But first things first.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    I am very sorry for your loss you are a strong women coming on here and sharing

    I think the first thing you should do is just get use to logging your food daily. Log your food as accurately as possible everyday for a week or two and then think about finding out what your calorie goal should be for weight loss.Small steps and forgiveness when you slip up are important so keep that in mind.

    Add people on MFP , read the boards and ask questions

  • benzieboxx
    benzieboxx Posts: 253 Member
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    You have the perfect mentality for this "I want to learn to live healthy." That's exactly the mindset you want. This is all about lifestyle change. No temporary fixes. You can do this. You have some great resources and as long as you keep your drive you'll reach your goals. If you want to add me as a friend on here, go ahead! I log daily and like to interact with others to keep us both motivated.

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