Fitiversary: 2nd Year: Change is Easy, Until you are no longer the Hare and are now the Turtle.

!!! Fitiversary Year 2 !!!



Can it really be another year?

Is it so??

Two Years ago I decided to change my life forever, more than giving up soda and sugary drinks but to make a choice to be active in my physical, spiritual and emotional life. To no longer allow unhealthy lifestyles to prevail. To live a life before God that was pleasing and honoring to Him & His word.

This journey has not been easy. This year, I went from the Hare to the Turtle. I learned, Change is a choice, its easy at first, but when you commit to something so life changing as living a life that honors your body as the Temple that God has created it to be. Sometimes you hit a wall, sometimes things get tough, and sometimes you fall. I learned that running around the wall, finding cheats to get over it, or digging a tunnel under it. Don't cut it. When you let God be in control.

This year, I fell. I fell spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I came to a point of surrendering the old me before God. And then, I got back up. The journey this year was about learning how to stumble, but stay to a resolve. It was boundaries 101 at times, and it was about being confident in the decisions I made the year before.

So here is my story.

Living in pictures. Because its not the same, if you cannot see it.

Year 1 Review:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1303732/fitiversary-1-year-pics-my-story#latest

http://jesserunsfree.blogspot.com/2014/05/fitiversary-1-year-lots-of-pics-my-story.html

And then begins Year 2:

I have to say, a big, gigantic, disclaimer, I weigh 10 more pounds than I did this time last year, I am up 18 pounds from my lowest weight of the year which was 189.


GASP!!

I know. The feeling you are having. Take a deep breath. It's a good thing. I promise.

In a lot of ways, I am smaller than I was last year. I have gained. It has been hard to gain, but as my story unfolds. Hopefully you will understand why, I still celebrate 205 lbs, as much as I celebrated reaching Onederland this time last year! And as much as I did this winter when I hit 189.



So this year began post Marathon, Post Mother's Day run, and with this nagging sense that something was not right. Throughout the year of my weight loss, I had gone thru periodic weeks where I had felt ill, but my Doctor continued to reassure me that everything was ok. So on my good days, I ran harder, trained harder, and fought. Because I wanted, deep down inside to hit my goal weight of 160 this year. I also, started, to adjust slowly to my new skin. I begin to not be afraid to take off the layers, and dress like the young women I am. Beach Day above. Was the first time, I have ever gone out in a swim suit, or a dress that revealing. It was a huge step for me, to look in the mirror and go, yes I may have layers and layers of loose skin, but I don't look half bad. I am not as fat, as I still see myself as in the mirror.

And then reality hit...



When I crossed the finish line at Grasshopper Peak on June 6, 2014 the EMT who took my heart rate and blood pressure because I was looking greyish said my heart rate was 88 and my blood pressure 98/49. I had just ran a race that required a 4 mile, 2000 foot climb. And then switch backs down hill.

This was not right..

Just 4 days later.

I was walking with a co-worker, when the world went cold numb and was gone.

In 5 seconds time, my world went upside down and within a week and a half, I was off the job, with no known recovery date.

What I knew then was far different than what I know now.

Coldness, chills, weakness in limbs and this ambiguous word... Bradycardia.

The periodic illness, this time, that I had, had on and off for months, didn't go away in a week, or weeks, it began getting worse.

So I began my life of Doctors Appointments, Living at home and now worried that well, I just didn't know.




I went from runner, to sideline cheer leader. For my two biggest supporters. My beloved husband and my mother.

Here they are preparing to compete in the 5k Hill Challenge.

And, all I could think, was what was wrong with me? I started to loose focus, for a moment on what I had accomplished.

From marathon training runs, full time work weeks, and a life of being active. I hit a wall, and I couldn't recover. At least not in the way I had envisioned.

This year, has been about hitting the wall, and finding a way over the top!!






And that is exactly what I did. On July 5th, 2015 in 75 degree weather I officiated my sisters wedding. It was a picture perfect day. Everyone was gorgeous, and I felt beautifully exposed in a simple yet elegant sun dress. I felt like the dress fit me like a glove, and I wasn't afraid to be bold, be excited, and share in this beautiful day.

The day didn't end so well for me. I ended up being carried off the beach, but I got to live a little. I hit that wall, I made it half way up. And I didn't make it over the top. But I made it another day. To congratulate the new Mr. & Mrs. Reyes in this nuptials and see my sisters beautiful blue eyes radiant and tearful when I talked about Pooh.





July also, held a very important anniversary for me. The moment I found running as my game changer happened at Relay for Life 2013. I couldn't run this year. Instead, as a huge blessing to me, my team, brought a wheel chair and they ran me around the track. I was so blessed to still be able to put on miles for this great cause, and participate and encourage others to run for a cause.






As summer went on, God began to work. Jeremy and I had be struggling for sometime to find a home church. We had been out of fellowship for three years. As my life became more simple, God became more involved. We found a church, a community and a family. God blessed us with opportunities. My parents separated which forced an inevitable moment in our lives. It was time to stop being nomads and settle down. From July thru September, I began to surrender what I thought God wanted for my life to what God had for my life. We have lived in our beautiful rental cottage now for 9 months. I cannot imagine our lives being any better.





And do you know, that the wall, it has cracks in it now?

Last year was about Physical Health. Physically dropping pounds. This year is about Spiritual Health. Its about dropping the baggage that has held me back for so very very long.

Its about conquering my inner man, and going God, here I am, what do I need to change, what do I need to let you in to heal, how can I serve you.

Despite weeks of fatigue, passing out, low heart rate, chills, limb pain. My beloved, encouraged me on the good days to not give up. The picture above was this last September. We reconquered the 13 mile Elk River Hike and did it in half the time of the previous year. From 6 hours to 3 hours. I learned to relish the good days and make them worth it!!




The most exciting moment of this last year was in November. My beloved and I married on November 17th, 2007 and we have had a lot of struggles. We had caused a lot of family pain, and personal pain. Our wedding day, should have been a day of celebration, but not everyone was able to come and celebrate with us. Because of choices we made, Jeremy's father, a pastor and a dear man of God was not able to marry us. Because of sin issues, they were not able to give us the Blessing that a parent wishes to give to their children.





This year, we hit the wall, and God brought REDEMPTION. To our marriage, to old relationships, and to each of us individually.

On November 28th of this year, before God, old friends and new, before family, we renewed our vows. We stood together once again, to thank God for each other, and recommit, that just as we had spent a year getting healthier physically, we would spend the rest of our lives committed to growing healthier spiritually and emotionally, together and as individuals.




And, as all special occasions, I got to get a dress. This was huge for me. I never got to have the "wedding dress" experience. I was ashamed of my weight and figure and found a $4.83 dress at a local thrift store for our first wedding. This time, I allowed myself to be vulnerable, be a women, have an opinion, and let people in. I was blessed to have one of my Spiritual moms take me out dress shopping and put on a dress I would have never picked in a 1000 years. On my wedding day I wore a size 26 women's dress, on my renewal day I wore a size 16 juniors.




We have a funky tradition. Every Year. We take a picture in front of the mall christmas tree for our anniversary. My dear friend Jordan Anne, started this with us the day after we got married, and it stuck. So in order, below are our photos thru the years. You can see how we gained weight, and see where God brought us on out Fit journey.



November 2007


November 2008


November 2009


November 2010


November 2011


November 2012


November 2013 (Year 1 of Fitness)

The greatest gift, to my journey, is my beloved. I cannot ever ever ever stress enough, that loosing weight is a family affair. It is the greatest gift you can ever give you spouse. It will bring you closer together, show you where you need to grow and help you develop. Working together, as a couple to achieve a goal, creates a bond, that will forever change you.







As a couple. We are stronger together. My husband gave up PR's this year. So that I could still run. He put his goals on hold, so that I could still achieve mine. Even though my exercise was cut to half the last 6 months of 2014. He was their, holding me accountable for how I lived my life. Without him. The 205 I am at today would not be possible.




On the coldest of days. He showed me that I could still cross the finish line and races like this one. He left me win. Even when he could have easily beat me across the line. He empowered me to be stronger, and faster.




This year. I didn't loose a lot of weight, but I lost inches, gained definition, got stronger and then gained a little back. Every pound lost and gained was worth it.



Love is in the air. Valentine's Day. Run Red.



My last race. The hardest race. A time to say goodbye to running. FOR NOW.

This year. I hit a wall and to say goodbye to running was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It's not a forever goodbye, its a temporary Good Bye.

My doctors aren't sure exactly what causes my heart rate to drop, my hands and feet to turn to ice, and the fatigue to set in for days. But what we do know is, running increases the rate of occurrence. So I have traded in my running shoes for 2 - 15 minute walks a day and have struggled to stay in Onderland. My wall, it has cracks in it, and it may be from the emotional head banging I have done on it thru this process. It has taken a year for them to rule out that my heart isn't the problem. It may take still another to pinpoint if Lupus is the cause.

I have become the Zebra. The patient with interesting symptoms and no diagnosis.

I am learning how to rely on God in a way I have never had to before.




I chuckle, I received a text last night from my mother-in-law, my journey this year, has been as slow as a turtle running through peanut butter.

The amazing news is... today, a very important journey begins. Today I receive my rowing machine. Today, I will begin a new fitness journey. The goal is to begin to loose weight in a low impact controlled environment, where I can continue my weight-loss goals, but do it in a safe way. So, to year two, I thank God, my father for allowing me to hit a wall. For brining amazing men & women of God into my life to assist me in not finding the fastest way over it or around it. But for helping me conquer it head on.



I can say, I didn't accomplish what I set out to do.



But God's plans were so much infinitely better than mine.




Being fit is more than a number, its about the journey.

The journey, is real, I have changed, and this year, not just in poundage but in my heart.




Thank You, to everyone who has supported me on this journey.




You are more heroes, my inspiration, my drive.


To see more of my story you can find me:

Instagram: jesserunsfree
Blogger: http://jesserunsfree.blogspot.com/