I have totally self sabotaged

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It's my first weigh in tomorrow and I have totally went AWOL already! I joined last week full of hope and motivation telling myself this time it will be different and I can stick to my calories. I've just went mad! I don't have a lot of calories to begin with but what I do spend my calories on is alcohol chocolate, biscuits and crisps and it doesn't leave a lot of room for real food. I have under 1stone to lose but I've been trying to loose it for about 3years and I keep thinking it's just gonna fall off over night by itself. I love exercise and I'm very active. I just don't know how to get out of this rut of sabotaging my own efforts. Any advice would be grateful.
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Replies

  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    if you want to do it, you will.

    nothing anyone can say will give you motivation. You are in charge of you.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Have some of what you want but not everything all in one day. Learn what portion sizes are appropriate for your goal.
    Plan out your food and drink so you can be sure it fits your calorie goal. Pre-log things.
    Have those things after you have met your nutritional requirements for the day.
    Don't buy the stuff so much if you can't be moderate.
    If you go over your calories every now and then just log and move on. Develop a strategy that works better. Don't be dramatic. You don't destroy your progress with one day.
  • JohnBarth
    JohnBarth Posts: 672 Member
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    Don't be afraid to succeed! My personal experience with self-sabotage is that it avoids a certain degree of success. Once I reach a new weight or lose weight, I realize it'll take as much work to maintain as it was to get there, so I'm found myself sabotaging my efforts to not have to face the new future--which will be a lifetime of commitment and hard work.

    Fortunately, now that I've learned this, I'm trying to use it as a tool to overcome this type of behavior.
  • discretekim
    discretekim Posts: 314 Member
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    I think you should focus on nutrition first. You will probably be full on less if you eat a more balanced diet.
  • maiteljohnson
    maiteljohnson Posts: 1 Member
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    Exercise any excessive treat before you eat it. You may find the hard work you put in is not worth the over indulgence of unhealthy choices. When you see the success at the end of the week I hope you are motivated to stay with healthier eating and limit the foods that will require more output. Moderation is key. Log ALL food you are consuming no matter what it is. Most of all STOP beating yourself. Be good to yourself. (That doesn't mean with food unless it fits within your goals).
  • CandyMonster160
    CandyMonster160 Posts: 153 Member
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    if you want to do it, you will.

    nothing anyone can say will give you motivation. You are in charge of you.

    Nailed it!

    How bad do you want it? That's what I tell myself every time I feel like eating more than my calories allow. How.Bad.Do.You.Want.It.
  • beautifullyjaded13
    beautifullyjaded13 Posts: 5 Member
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    if you want to do it, you will.

    nothing anyone can say will give you motivation. You are in charge of you.

    This is a yes and no answer for me. Trust me i WANT it i want it so bad but changing a life time of bad habits is really hard especially when you are an emotional eater, or you have other issues with food. yes if you want it do it stop eating the horrible things and get better ,but at the same time its easier said then done. My best advice is if that i what gets you and you self sabotage with those things, keep them out of the house go grocery shopping on a day when you feel strong enough to say no to those things not on a day when you know you may give in. never go food shopping hungry and make sure you keep supportive people around you who will support you in your choice.

  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    MsBonfire wrote: »
    It's my first weigh in tomorrow and I have totally went AWOL already! I joined last week full of hope and motivation telling myself this time it will be different and I can stick to my calories. I've just went mad! I don't have a lot of calories to begin with but what I do spend my calories on is alcohol chocolate, biscuits and crisps and it doesn't leave a lot of room for real food. I have under 1stone to lose but I've been trying to loose it for about 3years and I keep thinking it's just gonna fall off over night by itself. I love exercise and I'm very active. I just don't know how to get out of this rut of sabotaging my own efforts. Any advice would be grateful.

    Do you go to those foods when you're stressed or sad or angry? Maybe try going for a massage or bath or something that is comforting to you. I know that's my downfall, when I feel down I dive right into the sugar.

    Also since you don't have much to lose, have you thought about trying a weight lifting program? You could weigh the same but be smaller and look better, and assuming you're female you don't have to have any worries about getting 'bulky'.
  • AbsoluteTara79
    AbsoluteTara79 Posts: 266 Member
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    Are you creating too much of a deficit? How many calories are you working with?
  • MsBonfire
    MsBonfire Posts: 12 Member
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    JohnBarth wrote: »
    Don't be afraid to succeed! My personal experience with self-sabotage is that it avoids a certain degree of success. Once I reach a new weight or lose weight, I realize it'll take as much work to maintain as it was to get there, so I'm found myself sabotaging my efforts to not have to face the new future--which will be a lifetime of commitment and hard work.

    Fortunately, now that I've learned this, I'm trying to use it as a tool to overcome this type of behavior.

    Hey that really struck a cord with me and It's something I have never thought about. It's made me think there is some things I just don't want to change but not changing is what will make me unhappy and in order for me to be happy I do need to change...if that makes sense!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    Are you creating too much of a deficit? How many calories are you working with?

    this!

    What are your stats?
    Age:
    Height:
    Current weight:
    Goal weight:
    Activity level and what kind do you do:
    are you eating back your exercise calories:
    what have you set your rate of loss to be on here:
    how many calories do you try to consume on average:
    do you log your food religiously:
    do you weigh / measure your food:
    do you have a food scale:

    It's highly possible that you are trying to "go big or go home" and as a result are flaming out before you get off the ground.

    Yes, there is something to be said for self control, but I think that too often we seem to think that we have to be miserable in order to successfully lose weight!
  • JohnBarth
    JohnBarth Posts: 672 Member
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    MsBonfire wrote: »
    JohnBarth wrote: »
    Don't be afraid to succeed! My personal experience with self-sabotage is that it avoids a certain degree of success. Once I reach a new weight or lose weight, I realize it'll take as much work to maintain as it was to get there, so I'm found myself sabotaging my efforts to not have to face the new future--which will be a lifetime of commitment and hard work.

    Fortunately, now that I've learned this, I'm trying to use it as a tool to overcome this type of behavior.

    Hey that really struck a cord with me and It's something I have never thought about. It's made me think there is some things I just don't want to change but not changing is what will make me unhappy and in order for me to be happy I do need to change...if that makes sense!

    It does make perfect sense to me. Change of any kind is hard to accept. We know the level of happiness we're currently at, even if it's not as happy as we want to be. I think the fear comes into play because even though we achieve some degree of success, we're not instantly happy. The mental part of a health/fitness journey is sometimes the most difficult to overcome, but when you can take small steps of acknowledgement, it's when those steps can truly become permanent--the new you.
  • MsBonfire
    MsBonfire Posts: 12 Member
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    Are you creating too much of a deficit? How many calories are you working with?

    Actually quite a lot MFP set it at 1200 but I decided to try 1800 3 days and 1400 4 days. This includes all my exercise calories and is probably higher than what I burn. Anyway I couldn't manage it due to all the junk I eat and drink.
  • KombuchaCat
    KombuchaCat Posts: 834 Member
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    Been there, so many times! You can only pick yourself back up and move on. Practice makes perfect and eventually good habits stick and it gets easier. Promise!
  • DoreenaV1975
    DoreenaV1975 Posts: 567 Member
    edited June 2015
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    Pre-log your foods. That's what I do... I pre-log the next days food the night before This allows me to see how many calories is in each snack/meal and how it will affect my calorie goals before I even eat it! If I don't like it's affect I remove it and replace it w/ something that I am happy with. This allows me to make good choices and less likely to give in to random food during the day. BTW - w/ this method I always have calories left over at the end of the day, and that's when I enjoy a treat or 2... because usually I have planned so well, I can fit it in! I have ice cream, candy bars, hot chocolate etc. at least 2-3 times a week because I have room leftover in my calories to do so! And because I can have those treats w/out going over my calories, when they are presented to me unexpectedly, for example at work, or at a last minute social event (as in one I had not planned for), I can always resist! Being able to eat the treats on a consistent basis gives them less "power"! You can do it! :)
  • 460mustang
    460mustang Posts: 196 Member
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    Make small changes, switch to high coco 70% 85% chocolate. Switch to low calorie treats. Exercise to burn calories. But most of all, keep trying until you figure out what works for you. Read the forums here, search the internet for food ideas.
  • dimoul
    dimoul Posts: 137 Member
    edited June 2015
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    I have similar issues. I've lost lots of weight, but have plenty more to lose, and I share your struggles. The answer is probably it's all in your head. Try some of these articles about mindfulness / mindful eating. http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/tag/mindful-eating/

    Also, being more aware of proper portion sizes helps. It can help you to avoid heaping the plate and realizing later you went over your calories. It can also help "convince" you that you've had enough food: http://www.precisionnutrition.com/calorie-control-guide This article is good for the portion info, but ignore the part that bashes calorie counting. The bottom line is calories matter, but it's also useful to have an easy "on the fly" way to judge what's reasonable and use that to convince yourself you've had enough to eat. Also similar to this "hand diet" http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2537130/Portion-sizes.html.

    Also, don't beat yourself up too much. I've lost 90 lbs starting in 2011 and it's not like I've been starving myself for 4 years and when I'm "on" it's not like it's always 100%. It just takes making the adjustments over time for the majority of the time, to get progress.
  • Bshmerlie
    Bshmerlie Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Just start logging everything you are currently eating. Be brutely honest with yourself....log everything. Maybe if you see how much you are actually eating that will make you come to the realization that you have to stop and make some serious changes. Changing one's lifestyle is a lifelong commitment. When you are ready you will finally do it.
  • dlgrossi
    dlgrossi Posts: 1 Member
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    First of all, cut yourself some slack. It's only been a week! It's the rare individual who can change a lifetime of habits in a week, so seriously. Be kind to yourself.

    One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is that those things you mentioned are all high glycemic, processed carbs. If you eat enough of those kinds of foods, your body gets used to them, wants more, and that's partially where your strong cravings come from. It's actually a physical addiction that can be hard to break. If you haven't already, learn a little bit about that. Sometimes just understanding how food is affecting your body can make it easier to say no to them.

    There are really three main things that help me stay on track: First, I try to not have "the bad stuff" in the house. I have enough willpower to say no when I'm shopping, but if they're sitting in the pantry, taunting me all night, it's over. Second, plan ahead for those times when you know you're going to want a snack. If you have a glass of wine every night, try finding an herbal tea you really enjoy and have that instead. If you want some crisps, have a handful of nuts instead. Don't let yourself feel deprived, but make yourself love new things. Third, just tracking calories and learning about food helped me a lot. You may find after a few weeks, like I did, that you're negotiating your food choices without really trying, just because you're more aware of what you're eating. For me, that went something like this: "I've been on target all week, and today's looking pretty good, so I'm going to have a cheeseburger! But wait, if I get mustard instead of mayonnaise, and leave off the cheese, then for the same calories, I can get some crisps too! Yay!"

    Wait, there is a fourth thing I would recommend, and it's an important one. You have to want to do good things for yourself, and you have to believe that you deserve good things. That's a toughie sometimes. But be very conscious of this. If you're eating a salad, savor every bite of that salad, and tell yourself .. "I am putting some amazing food into this amazing body of mine! How awesome am I to be taking care of this miraculous body of mine?? My body loves this! And this lettuce is so crisp and cold, and these tomatoes are so sweet! Nom nom nom." Savor it. Pat yourself on the back. If you can really enjoy your healthy choices, and really feel like you're pampering yourself in a way, it'll be easier to make good choices the next time. And even easier the next time.

    And come to think of it, savor the "bad stuff" too. Because you know what? Chocolate and crisps are really awesome. Don't make them taboo. Don't beat yourself up about it. Don't think of it as cheating. Think of it as a really tasty snack that you're going to thoroughly enjoy, just not that often because while your tastebuds love it, your body ... not so much. And you love your super amazing, super versatile, super useful body a lot more than your tastebuds!

    Lastly, if you're still reading, know that it gets so.much.easier. Your body craves the bad stuff now, but if you keep at it, it'll start craving the good stuff. So keep at it. Find support and encouragement where you can. Praise yourself for the good choices and don't beat yourself up about anything else. You can do it!

  • juliebowman4
    juliebowman4 Posts: 784 Member
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    There are wonderful people here who can fill you up with knowledge.
    You can gain friendships.
    But the one thing none of us can give you........is willingness.
    Willingness doesn't mean 'want to'
    It's different.
    I'm willing to exercise (even though I don't want to, because I value my heart health more than my sucky feelings)
    I'm willing to weigh and measure foods for accurate calorie counting......even though I don't want to because it's time consuming and a pain.
    You alone must develop the quality of willingness....and when you do, you WILL succeed. At any goal you set.