Switching my mindset-the scale does not define me!

This has been on my mind for awhile, but I didnt know how to post it without sounding like a DebbieDowner, because thats so far from the truth!

I am 5'10 and have an athletic build. According to all the charts, I should be around 167-169. Thats been my goal from day one. After having my 2nd child, I weighed in at 230. I was miserable and didnt like anything about myself. January 2010, I started my weight loss journey. I joined my local YMCA and became addicted to my group exercise classes and am proud to be one of the more advanced people in my classes and LOVING exercise--something I never did, even when I was young, thin and athletic. I dropped into the 190s and stuck, and now am there in the low 180s and stuck again! I work my tooshie off, eat well (semi-clean), stay in my calories, eat back exercise cals at least up to 1250 (sometimes it was hard to even get there) and couldnt move on the scale. Then, my scale started moving---the WRONG way! I started taking pics and comparing them and noticing I was becoming more toned and noticing a difference, but the scale was moving UP!

So...I talked to my Dr who said that while no one wants to hear it because heavy people can tend to use it as an excuse, muscle weighs more than fat and I am developing muscle. (Id agree, but HATE hearing that bc it is burned into my mind as an excuse that even I had used before). I gave her my best Bigggest Loser analogy---they are totally defined and still weigh tons less than me. Olivia, last nights winner (of course I didnt know that part at my appt last week) is one inch shorter than I am, totally RIPPED and still a handful of decades under me in weight. ...I thought my Dr might slap me. :embarassed: and then she gave me an example of a diet I would need to follow to get those results and the workout regimen to go with it. Theres no way! Once again, I let other people and TV suck me into what I am supposed to look like! Then, she opened my chart and showed me my past weights. We found that I am actually 3 lbs lighter than the time I described as when I was at my best...and a hell of a lot more fit and in pants sizes I havent seen since middle school--and Ive had two babies!

This is obviously a personal decision but I have told myself that I HAVE to be happy with how Im looking and feeling and I cannot let the scale control how I feel about all I have acccomplished. Again, a personal choice, but I am only weighing myself once a month (and thats only because I cant break the habit completely) and concentrating more on how I look and feel. I was talking to my dads girlfriend last night and told her that I dont weigh myself because I am depressed even if I see a loss. She looked at me like I was crazy (deservedly) and said "You HAVE to be happy with how you are looking, Amber!" Then, this morning, I went to my Step Class and a woman who Ive known my whole life, whose daughter was a gymnast with me, came up to me and said, "You look amazing and you are in much better shape than you were an athlete in high school. Wheres that leotard now?" At that moment, I opened my eyes to who I am and how far I have come!

We have to remember to look at the bigger picture and not let the scale control our lives!

Yep, totally easier said than done!