Medium Distance Relationships

blueyellowhorse
blueyellowhorse Posts: 708 Member
edited November 20 in Chit-Chat
Hey guys I'm wondering what are your opinions on medium distance relationships? For medium distance I mean like 1.5 hours - 3 hours distance I guess. So it's not close to you, but it's not a long enough distance where it takes most of the day to get to or needing a plane. Is it worth it? Has anyone ever done a medium distance relationship? How often did you see each other? Did it work out? Did you guys end up moving closer or together?

Replies

  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,008 Member
    No.



    Signed,
    A Cynic
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I'm currently in a long distance relationship, it is very difficult. If I could move it to medium distance, I'd be so thrilled. It'd still be tough, but not nearly as bad.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    blueyellowhorse wrote: »
    Hey guys I'm wondering what are your opinions on medium distance relationships? For medium distance I mean like 1.5 hours - 3 hours distance I guess. So it's not close to you, but it's not a long enough distance where it takes most of the day to get to or needing a plane. Is it worth it? Has anyone ever done a medium distance relationship? How often did you see each other? Did it work out? Did you guys end up moving closer or together?

    If it's meant to be, it'll work...
  • jessieleah
    jessieleah Posts: 204 Member
    The only time I think it's worthwhile is if you have (near) future plans of moving closer together. I'm stuck doing medium/long distance for the summer (until October) and it sucks, but I'll be moving over to where he is then, so it's manageable.
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  • yourradimradletshug
    yourradimradletshug Posts: 964 Member
    I dated a guy for close to a year who lived an hour and a half away. I only got to see him every other weekend due to his job and it was tough but so not impossible! I think as long as the commitment and faithfulness is there then even logn distance can work. You both just have to trust each other. :)
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  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    If it's over an hour, it's too far.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Depends on personalities/ compatibilities. Can you both adapt or no and are they worth it? I wouldnt view it as terminal at all if you have the correct mindset and communicate well. The mistake would be not factoring in the distance and getting frustrated or treating it like you lived close than you are.
  • blueyellowhorse
    blueyellowhorse Posts: 708 Member
    BFDeal wrote: »
    As long as his other girlfriend lives closer I can see it working out fine for him. YMMV though.

    Lol :#
  • justinegibbons
    justinegibbons Posts: 918 Member
    I did. I was in Vegas and he was in California in the marines. We saw each other almost every weekend.. If he was such a piece of *kitten* it probably would've continued to work lol
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  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,008 Member
    blueyellowhorse wrote: »
    BFDeal wrote: »
    As long as his other girlfriend lives closer I can see it working out fine for him. YMMV though.

    Lol :#

    There is truth in humor, I always said.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    BFDeal wrote: »
    As long as his other girlfriend lives closer I can see it working out fine for him. YMMV though.

    *snort*
  • MsJulesRenee
    MsJulesRenee Posts: 1,180 Member
    Been in two medium distance relationship and neither worked out strictly because of the distance. It seems fine being "just a car drive away" but when you get into the day to day stress and just want to come home to someone...it doesn't work long term. I guess it depends also if you BOTH can handle the distance/stress but there is usually one person who finds it too hard - from my experience and stories from friends/family.
  • Timorous_Beastie
    Timorous_Beastie Posts: 595 Member
    It can go either way. My husband lived 3 hours away when we first met. As long as one or both of you are open to the idea of relocating at some point, it's not an issue. Granted, gas prices were a LOT lower when we met. :)

    On the flip side, my first boyfriend was away at college about 3 hours away most of the year during the first few years we dated. And we definitely would have split up sooner if we'd had a "normal" relationship. I didn't see him often enough for him to really get on my nerves and by the time I did, I thought I was "attached" to him.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I think there are a lot of other variables that would need to be considered. I've been in two such relationships in the past...the first one was fine because we had already been dating for over a year and the distance aspect of the relationship was only going to be a temporary thing...like 3 - 4 months. In this case, we actually found it to be kind of fun meet up for the weekend or whatever...we'd often meet half way at this lake and spend the weekend camping out or whatever.

    In the 2nd instance, I had gone out on a couple of dates with this girl who went to college about 3 hours away...we dated for the summer, but it all just kind of fell apart when she went back to school. The relationship was really one of those summer fling kind of things and once that was over, so was the relationship basically. We spent a month or two trying to commute to see each other, but neither of us were really into it at that point and driving 6 hours on the weekend to see each other was turning into a PITA.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    I've been in a medium distance relationship for about 4 1/2 years now (almost 3 hour distance). We see each other about twice a month, sometimes for a day, sometimes with an overnight or several days visit. We also take 1-2 week vacations together a few times a year. It all depends on work schedules.

    Communication has been a key factor in being able to keep it going for as long as we have. We text, talk, and FaceTime daily. We make sure to talk about the big things as well as the little things. It also helps that we have a solid friendship.

    It's been tough at times. It sucks watching him go (or leave myself) when our time together is up and it's time to go home. It's even tougher if we have spent an extended amount of time together. If something comes up last minute (like an invite to a party) it's hard to drive down there or have him drive here to go so I have to go solo and vice versa.

    It's been worth the time and the effort though. It won't be long now and the distance won't be an issue anymore.
  • ManiacalLaugh
    ManiacalLaugh Posts: 1,048 Member
    I know you're asking about medium distance relationships, but I thought I'd chime in anyway. My bf and I did the long-distance thing for about a year until I decided to move in with him. However, though we wouldn't see each other, we'd talk a lot. Usually, this would involve messages over text. We also spent at least 4 nights of the week speaking for a little while, with spotty communication on the weekends. I actually ended up buying an entirely new gaming laptop so we could hop on Borderlands or something together so we could enjoy a hobby during a date night.

    It was definitely worth it for me, though it was challenging too. There were times when it got old, but persevering made it completely worth while. It just takes communication, mutual trust and understanding, and a mutual decision to sacrifice some of your "me" time in order to cope with the added effort of spending time with one another.
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