Dating a Foodie....help
deanadimples
Posts: 419 Member
This post is part suggestion request and a littlepart vent!
I date a foodie. Not just any foodie. But a foodie that eats EVERY MEAL OUT (unless we grill) and TONS of it.. And he's barely overweight. For example lunch would be..McDonald's would be Big Mac Meal, Fish Filet AND 2 Double Cheeseburgers. Supper would be Salad, a steak, fries, AND a burger at a restaurant. I'm talking 3,000 calories days. Tons of salt on top of it all. Yet he brags he doesn't drink soda and doesn't eat sweets.
Well, he recently had kidney stones and his doc told him to cut sodium. Shocker! The problem is...his version of "eating well" is not what we would call it.
He's gotten some Red Bull type drink called "Monavie"....and said "it's all natural"....but has 22g of sugars. I tried to tell him that APPLES and BANANAS and CARROTS are natural. Energy drinks in a can is not. He thinks that taking some supplement and a "drink" (I have no clue what) that keeps you from being hungry is how you diet. Then he gets a large pizza as part of this "regimen". The only exercise he does is bowling...which he does professionally so his body is kind of used to it.
Course I try to tell him there are better ways to make changes. But I guess I am just the fat girl. Who am I to talk?? A couple years ago I joined a "Biggest Loser" contest at a local gym. During it we were out of town and needed to eat he just took me to fast food place. He didn't think there was anything wrong with it, or the food. Not to mention putting me in temptation land unprepared. And I didn't even like the place he pulled into LOL
But it's very frustrating, trying to eat out with this guy! I may be overweight. But I have been educated through the years when I have lost weight before and done it through diet and exercise and HARD WORK! I have tried to explain to him about choices but like I said....who takes advice from the fat girl.
Any ideas on how to co-exist with someone who is completely opposite (and a tad clueless) with food?? Thank god we don't live together.
I date a foodie. Not just any foodie. But a foodie that eats EVERY MEAL OUT (unless we grill) and TONS of it.. And he's barely overweight. For example lunch would be..McDonald's would be Big Mac Meal, Fish Filet AND 2 Double Cheeseburgers. Supper would be Salad, a steak, fries, AND a burger at a restaurant. I'm talking 3,000 calories days. Tons of salt on top of it all. Yet he brags he doesn't drink soda and doesn't eat sweets.
Well, he recently had kidney stones and his doc told him to cut sodium. Shocker! The problem is...his version of "eating well" is not what we would call it.
He's gotten some Red Bull type drink called "Monavie"....and said "it's all natural"....but has 22g of sugars. I tried to tell him that APPLES and BANANAS and CARROTS are natural. Energy drinks in a can is not. He thinks that taking some supplement and a "drink" (I have no clue what) that keeps you from being hungry is how you diet. Then he gets a large pizza as part of this "regimen". The only exercise he does is bowling...which he does professionally so his body is kind of used to it.
Course I try to tell him there are better ways to make changes. But I guess I am just the fat girl. Who am I to talk?? A couple years ago I joined a "Biggest Loser" contest at a local gym. During it we were out of town and needed to eat he just took me to fast food place. He didn't think there was anything wrong with it, or the food. Not to mention putting me in temptation land unprepared. And I didn't even like the place he pulled into LOL
But it's very frustrating, trying to eat out with this guy! I may be overweight. But I have been educated through the years when I have lost weight before and done it through diet and exercise and HARD WORK! I have tried to explain to him about choices but like I said....who takes advice from the fat girl.
Any ideas on how to co-exist with someone who is completely opposite (and a tad clueless) with food?? Thank god we don't live together.
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Replies
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Oh boy! This would drive me crazy. I am lucky enough to have a husband who wants to eat healthy with me and follows my lead. I don't have real advice other than have you sat him down and explained your feelings on this?0
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Tough one! However poor eating choices and being a foodie aren't mutually inclusive
... I am a foodie for sure! Love food! However that doesn't mean you have to be unhealthy about it ... granted I love cooking, and I've taken to a passion for healthy cooking ... there's hope (though it may include a lot of prayer!) lol 0 -
I hear ya!! My husband dosent eat massive quantities but he eats bad foods and when I'm having a "bad" day and wanting fast food or sweets he dosent try to stop me. I need a drill seargent! I've used my aggravation about this to encourage myself to increase my willpower even more. I just realize that it's all me now, I'm on my own and I've come to be at peace with that. Maybe, you could implement a rule that every other time you guys go out you get to pick the place...that way at least every other time you'd get to pick a place where you could keep on track easily. Even if he goes full throttle you wont be some tempted with bad food if your at say Jasons Deli, subway, or heck even a steakhouse...just get salad and chicken. I know its hard though, alot easier said than done. good luck!
or...you could also start cooking healthy meals and treating him to your wonderful cooking!! then you get your way and he gets to enjoy YOUR food! Just try to make it extra tasty stuff for him.0 -
Agree with sitting down to talk ... seriously about it.
It's a significant lifestyle difference to be on 2 different pages ... I see people do it, but if you can find a way to get on that journey together, that would be awesome. Though he may get there, it may just take him longer to get convicted to do something about it.0 -
My fiance is underweight & since we met 2 years ago (when I was skinny), I gained 55 lbs (very disappointing). He is 140 lbs @ 5'9". He can eat thousands of calories a day and stay lean. It is frustrating cause on his days off he wants to eat out. He loves fast food or non-healthy restaurants (he doesn't eat like a pig or anything ever but his daily lunch either comes from a gas station or fast food). If he keeps me on track through lunch by going to Subway or something, dinner gets blown. It's hard. You just have to be strong to make healthy decisions at places like that. I'm not strong enough to just order a salad at dinner or substitute mashed/baked potatoes for vegetables. Good luck.0
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Sit him down in front of the computer with you. Ask him to humor you for 5 minutes. Then log into your MFP, set your goals to count sodium (if it doesn't already), and put in everything he ate the day before. Then he will see the actual numbers. When he sees the sodium in all the takeout, he will probably be stunned, but that might be necessary to get him to start thinking rationally about this.0
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You are kind to describe clueless gluttony as being a foodie. Your health and his are both at stake. It seems like it is just a matter of time before serious consequences. Better to act now to prevent them. Don't let anyone dismiss your concerns on the basis of your weight or appearance. Honestly, there are too many warning signs of future trouble with this guy.0
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Take care of yourself, for yourself. You choose where you eat, when you eat, what you eat. You are in charge of you. No one is holding a gun to your head, making you eat at a fast food place. If he isn't with you, he isn't with you: take control!0
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Hmmmm...I don't know if I would call someone who eats at all those fast food places a "foodie." Foodie to me is someone who is super into high quality ingredients and gourmet food - like someone who frequents local organic restaurants for example, or who always wants to sample more cultural foods. So if your boyfriend prides himself as a foodie, maybe explaining to him what that actually means will help him be more mindful!
At any rate, your boyfriend needs to be more supportive of your efforts. If left to his own devices, my boyfriend would probably eat McD's, BK, and Taco Bell on an alternating schedule. But I put my foot down and said I couldn't be eating that kind of food. If we're going to go out to eat, it's going to be somewhere where I can get a delicious healthy meal that's not an iceberg lettuce salad.
I would maybe just be more firm with him that you are trying to make a positive change and it's really hard when he's eating so poorly around you all the time. Tell him why it's important to you that he be on board. It doesn't mean he can't even have the kinds of foods he likes, but it does mean he'll need to cut back. Find some yummy recipes for you guys to make together. If he sees that healthy food can also be delicious, maybe he won't feel so deprived (I know that helped with my BF).
And if he still refuses to be supportive maybe it's time for a new boyfriend who is
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My BF loves his food, and he can eat in HUGE amounts....however..IMO what he chooses to stuff into his body is his choice. He is a grown man, he knows what happens when you gorge yourself with burgers... he isn't stupid. He enjoys healthy foods that I prepare, he is supportive of my decision to watch what I eat.... With that being said... I worry about myself, and let him worry about himself. I love him, but you can not (you in general terms, not "you" personally) control all situations you are put in while on this life time journey... the best you can do, is make the Healthiest choice possible, OR simply do not order from there... tell him he can order from there, but you would like to wait--- Best thing to do also, is make sure your purse/bag has some Nutrition bars, or something you can grab in a pinch to curb the hunger until you are out of that situation.
I have literally been SO HUNGRY i had a headache, but would refuse to eat where he stopped....0 -
I think what irks me most is he acts like he's making these wonderful healthy decisions and I'm just rolling my eyes going "oh lordy". LOL
Foodie, Gluttoner (if that's a word)...wasn't sure how to refer to him. Human garbage disposal probably fits him best! Popcorn at the movie AFTER a huge meal is totally normal to him.
Well for the most part, I can have a say in where we go. And if we do go somewhere I try to pick something decent. Last night we had to go somewhere out of town and he was going to get some fast food. I said no and went to Subway. When we left town, we stopped at a pizza joint and he got his large pizza. He was expecting this hot thing to just sit in my lap on the drive (and hand him pieces). Then was bewildered at "what my problem was"!! He sees no problem because he thinks his meal replacements and pizza are healthy!
Oh well....at least this has all taught me that I have better will power than I thought!0
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