Hubby Came Home From War , Crisis Happened and I Stopped Doi

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I was on my way to freedom of this weight. My choices were bad when crisis hit our family. I chose to put myself last once again! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? I didn't have the support that I thought I would when my husband returned. He did not like the fact that I had lost weight. I lost 28 lbs........he was not happy? WELL, I definately was! WHY DID I ALLOW THIS TO STOP ME?? Now I am furious with myself for backsliding!! I am taking responsibilty for my actions now!! Time to worry about number ONE! I have been at his bedside for 2 1/2 months not taking care of me!! This makes me sick to think I did not matter once again!! IS TIME FOR ME !! I CAN REVERSE ANYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED! I AM SO GLAD THAT I CAUGHT MYSELF BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE!!

I HAVE TO DO THIS!! I WANT TO BE HAPPY ONCE AGAIN!! LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME......THIS IS FOR ME!!

Replies

  • picturesing
    picturesing Posts: 228
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    Oh my gosh...I can't imagine what you are feeling and what you're going thru!? Please take care of you!!! First and foremost. You will able to care of others SO much better if you are taking care of YOU! This has been my story for most of my life - putting everyone else in front of me....No MORE!!!! Finally!
    Much luck to you!
  • jamie78
    jamie78 Posts: 514 Member
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    YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
    I have a friend that told me today her BF didnt want her to lose anymore and she still does! I told her to do what makes her happy and healthy.
    Good luck!
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
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    You go girl! Do what makes you feel good about yourself.
  • WildFlower7
    WildFlower7 Posts: 714 Member
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    You can do it! Like you said do this for you, NOONE ELSE! Your darn right you can reverse anything and YOUR the only one who has the power to do it! Good Luck to you!
  • TashaP2011
    TashaP2011 Posts: 142 Member
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    Best of luck to you. Don't forget, this is your body, and the only one you will ever get - take care of it. Please thank your husband for his service - we all really appreciate what our service men and women do and the sacrifices their families make!
    Take care!
  • SimplyFreckled
    SimplyFreckled Posts: 444 Member
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    Oh my gosh...I can't imagine what you are feeling and what you're going thru!? Please take care of you!!! First and foremost. You will able to care of others SO much better if you are taking care of YOU! This has been my story for most of my life - putting everyone else in front of me....No MORE!!!! Finally!
    Much luck to you!

    Couldn't agree more, You need to take care of yourself first, it may seem selfish, but how are you going to care for others if you aren't healthy yourself!!! ((hugs))
  • DESIREE1210
    DESIREE1210 Posts: 177 Member
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    I understand tyhis post so much. I was always last. Every time I started losing weight, looking and feeling good, my husband would go on and on about how I would find someone younger. It always sabotaged me in my head.
    Finally this time I told him and he's been so supportive and I'm doing great. I put me first and I will continue to be #1 from now on. Everyone else came first their feelings, etc and I never cared enought about me and how I felt. Not anymore, I'm #1!!!!
  • alska
    alska Posts: 299 Member
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    i'm sorry :( i don't know why he wouldn't like it!!
  • lookingforserenity
    lookingforserenity Posts: 5 Member
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    Glad you're taking care of you again. I understand how easy it is to put yourself last and then wonder why you did it...again. Has happened to me too many times! It's never too late to take care of yourself....just a matter of how far off track we have to get before we make ourself #1 again!
  • texastae1010
    texastae1010 Posts: 165
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    Ok I am also an Army Wife and I understand how easy it is to put them before us…it seems to be the norm actually and what they seem to expect because we always have to put the military first no matter what. That being said these tips below were just sent out by hubbies BN thought I would share.

    I am sorry that he is not happy about you losing weight…that hurts my heart I have no idea what has happened to him for you to be at his bedside for the past two months and I can only imagine. Maybe just maybe he is worried that you will leave him because of whatever shape he is on or he is just angry about him being in bed and not able to express himself.

    That being said take care of yourself…take an hour to walk workout etc. make yourself feel like you and that way you can be the best you that you can be which will lead to you being the best wife that you can be. Just my two cents

    Taking Care of Yourself

    1. Tips to Relieve Stress

    - Allow plenty of time
    - Exercise and breath deeply
    - Get plenty of rest and eat well
    - Discuss your problems with a friend, family member, or trusted person
    - When stress hits big, take a time out
    - Change your negative thoughts to positive ones
    - Ask for help ventilate to a friend

    2. Managing you stress

    Slow Down
    - Find something to make you laugh
    - Be a kid for a couple of minutes
    - Listen to music
    - Have a bath
    - Go for a jog

    3. Exercise

    - Moves bad chemicals out of your body
    - Reduces muscle tension
    - Takes mind off problems
    - Helps you sleep better

    4. Get plenty of rest, and eat healthy
    - Eat breakfast
    - Do not skip meals
    - Eat nutritious foods, skip the junk food!
    - Drink 8 glasses of water a day
    - Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night
    - Stay on schedule

    5. Potential Daily Schedule (24 Hours divided into thirds)

    -8 Hours for sleeping ?? Maybe less
    -8 Hours for working + + maybe more
    -8 Hours for everything else which might include the following: Bill paying;
    Grass cutting; Laundry; Driving kids around; A multitude of other
    Household chores .
    OUT OF THESE 8 HOURS IT IS IMPORTANT TO CARVE OUT SOME TIME
    FOR YOURSELF,---- HOBBY TIME
    EVEN IF ONLY FOR 15 MINUTES.
  • Missy123556
    Missy123556 Posts: 80
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    Sorry if I'm way off here, but is it possible that your husband was just freaked out that he came home and everything seemed different, including his wife? Obviously its better for you to be in shape, but I'd try to understand his position on this so it doesnt cause problems between you.
  • monchand
    monchand Posts: 62 Member
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    wow, oh how I can relate this you. My husband loved my full figured body, thats his prefer body type. So when I started my lifestyle change and started to lose the weight, it was a huge issue for our marriage. But I continued on and along the way he has just had to accept my new body. I had to stop my family history of heart diease and diabetes, as I was approaching 37 and just had my last baby, I couldn't imagine having a heart attack in my mid 40's like my father and he also developed diabetes at the age of 38. that was my motivator. And of course my hubby loves my new body now and loves to see me try on clothes and tell me am "HOT". Hang in there and you can do it!:flowerforyou:
  • kmcgrath1
    kmcgrath1 Posts: 175 Member
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    I have found that a lot of men when they don't want their gfs or wives to lose weight it is because they are insecure themselves. My DH is always 'teasing' me that I am going to run off and meet someone at the gym who's fit and younger than he is. Although he jokes about it I truly think he's insecure and maybe a little jealous.
  • jsoaper01
    jsoaper01 Posts: 99 Member
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    Have u thought about doing the I can Challenge through military one source? Its free and you get a coach to help you through the tuff times.. Let me know if you need help.
  • ambraroberts
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    I think I have figured it out. I believe that there is an insecurity that comes with being a soldier. They are cheated on a lot! When the guys deploy....the vultures come out waiting for a vulnerable time! I am older than most of these wives and refuse to ever put my marriage on the line. It freaks a man out when he comes home to a wife looking better than she has and thinking about going back to war. I can only take responsibility for me and my feelings. Sabotage happened....I allowed it. I now am taking time for me and doing what makes me happy:)
  • ambraroberts
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    this is exactly what I think has happened. I agree with you totally:)