I have to do this

I don't really know how many times I've done an intro and talked about getting healthier but here I am still. Not dropping the pounds, not feeling good about myself, and wanting to get better.

Wanting alone isn't going to do it, so I'm just thinking I have to get back onto the horse one more time and try to make it work this time.

Today I've had probably the worst day I have had in a long time. Regrettably it's not just one big thing I could fix, it's one of those combinations of so many things fighting for my attention and stressing me and chipping away at my normally good demeanor.

Nowhere to turn I decided to turn here, part of me has a hard time making friends because of how I feel about myself, but I can't let that hold me back.

I have a photo of myself right now, but I will spare you all the eye-burning damage of actually seeing it. Just looking at it on my own is it's own roller coaster of emotions. Maybe I'll share it when its the before picture and not the current.

Well I can throw myself a pity party, but I'm the only one who shows up to those, so I am just going to post on here instead and try again.

Feel free to friend me if you like, I'm going to do my best to keep posting, I feel like if I put something and people read it then maybe I will have the motivation to continue.

At least my son is here too, he doesn't see his dad the way I see myself, I just want to look at myself with the same love he looks at me with. That's all the reason to do this I need.