Break up crew.....any more women on a mission?

tanny684
tanny684 Posts: 196 Member
edited November 20 in Introduce Yourself
I'm sure a lot of people go through this. My recent weight loss journey has been kick started by an extremely painful experience. I have always known I am overweight but never really fully accepted how big I'd become. It was easier to avoid photo's and stick to the image I had in my head of a much smaller me.

Five months ago I started dating what I thought would be the man of my dreams. 6ft 4, handsome, a doctor. We were very compatible and I fell very quickly but he didn't ever want to be seen with me in public and didn't seem to want to commit to me. He had suggested I lose weight a few times over the months (for health reasons he claimed) but I'd brush it off. Eventually he ended it; saying I was just too big. He had thought I might lose weight but five months later I hadn't and he considered our relationship a waste of time.

I went through the initial heartbreak, rejection, and accepting the very painful fact that my weight had caused this. I decided it's finally time to face up to my problem and to do something about it.

I lost 196lbs (of superficial doctor) overnight.....but in the coming months I need to lose 60lbs more. I feel like emotional trauma is a really good catalyst and desperately want to turn this into something positive.

Who's with me? :)

My aim is to start a club where we can support each other/blog we can follow.

Replies

  • TeenageMutantNinjaMike
    TeenageMutantNinjaMike Posts: 97 Member
    The only time I remember losing a significant amount of weight was when spite was my motivation. I worked with a girl whom had rejected me long before we ever worked at the same place. I committed to losing a bunch of weight so I could walk by and her co-workers would think I looked good. It was too bad she moved onto a new position after a few months. I could have really kept it up. :
  • cutsie64
    cutsie64 Posts: 6 Member
    I got married last Oct and looked Amazing in my wedding dress. My new husband "mentioned" to me Sunday that it looked like I had put on a "little" weight. (And he has too)!!. So I added this app to my phone to aide in my journey back to looking like his fairytale bride. I have lost 4 pounds since Monday. Need all if the encouragement that I can get
  • cutsie64
    cutsie64 Posts: 6 Member
    Tanny684...I am with you!!!
  • tanny684
    tanny684 Posts: 196 Member
    TeenageMutantNinjaMike wrote: »
    The only time I remember losing a significant amount of weight was when spite was my motivation. I worked with a girl whom had rejected me long before we ever worked at the same place. I committed to losing a bunch of weight so I could walk by and her co-workers would think I looked good. It was too bad she moved onto a new position after a few months. I could have really kept it up. :

    Yeah, spite is actually a really good motivator lol. Friends have suggested to me that there's no point and just to accept it's over but really....what do I stand to lose? (Except weight, lol). Think it's important we remember if they reject us that's their loss and go on to be the besutiful people we know we can be :)
  • tanny684
    tanny684 Posts: 196 Member
    cutsie64 wrote: »
    I got married last Oct and looked Amazing in my wedding dress. My new husband "mentioned" to me Sunday that it looked like I had put on a "little" weight. (And he has too)!!. So I added this app to my phone to aide in my journey back to looking like his fairytale bride. I have lost 4 pounds since Monday. Need all if the encouragement that I can get

    You're in the right place lol I'll add you and we can encourage each other :)
  • JanelleG0122
    JanelleG0122 Posts: 323 Member
    I went through a break up 3 years ago where my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on his best friends wife with someone much smaller than me. Now I know he was a complete dbag, but I felt devastated. I lost almost 60 pounds than gained 45 of it back. I now realize though that I have to do this strictly for me, not because of some guy. So I finally feel like it's time. Wish you the best of luck on your journey, and forget that doctor. You don't need superficial people in your life.
  • emziekvezeau
    emziekvezeau Posts: 18 Member
    Do it for yourself , not because some man thought he was above you over something so ridiculously superficial !!
    Good on you for losing that first 196 lbs!!
    Any man or person in your life should think you are absolutely amazing and beautiful , no matter what your composition is! If he doesn't , you are too good for him!!
    Losing weight is hard enough in its own. You need support from loved ones , not pressure
  • nicoleyg
    nicoleyg Posts: 36 Member
    I actually had the exact opposite thing happen to me. I was in a relationship and lost 63 pounds. The relationship ended and I spiraled into a deep depression, loosing 10 pounds in the first 2 weeks and then putting on a bunch of weight. My weight loss went from 63 pounds to 35 pounds. I lost all motivation. I have struggled for the past month to get it back, and so far I haven't been able to. I'm not giving up the struggle. I was so proud of myself and I want to get that feeling back. I didn't do it for him or to spite him. I did it for me.
  • jazzine1
    jazzine1 Posts: 280 Member
    edited June 2015
    In Jan 1st my boyfriend of 2 yrs broke up with me. I loved him very much and it hurt me. He claimed he was at a stage where he has grown kids over 28 and I have 2 small ones and he didn't want to raise kids again. Mind you, my kids father is very much present in their lives and I was definitely not looking for a replacement dad for them. Any who, on Jan 5th weighing 235 lbs I made a brokenhearted commitment that I was going to lose weight so that whenever we bump into each other (becuz we frequent the same pub) he could see what he had lost. So my weight loss journey began and I decided I wasn't going to visit the pub until I had lost a good amt of weight so that the ppl who knew him could see how I had changed. In May after losing 30 lbs I went to the pub, and everyone who knows me were surprised on how much I had lost and how great I looked, by then everyone knew we had broken up(we were the "pub couple") and he had been there already with his new girlfriend, which by the way is his ex wife, they got back together after 6 yr being divorced (that was the real reason he broke up with me because they were going to get back not because of my small kids like he had claimed). Anyway as I am standing there feeling great and looking sexy as hell in walks in my ex.....he come over to me gives me a kiss on the cheek and whispers in my ear "you look so freaking beautiful". There was no greater satisfaction then hearing those words and him wanting to take me back to his place, which I politely and very happily turned down. !!! So I lost some weight, got complimented and desired again by my ex. I used my hurt as motivation. This morning I weight in at 199 lbs and I love how I am feeling, I want to get down to maybe 150. I am still fully determined but now I am doing this for me!
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    >.< Your weight didn't cause this, the douche doctor did!

    But that being said, welcome to MFP - It's really not as bad as people say to lose weight :) Yep, you may feel a little hungry or miss one of your comfort foods... but it's just one day at a time and you can take it slowly. You don't have to do everything at once. Just concentrate on the first 5 lbs to start, while working on small changes to your diet (switch to diet drinks, cut out some sauces and reduce the amount of pastas/breads/whatever your higher calorie go-tos are... add in a few veggies and fruits :) Drink some more water and see how it goes for a few weeks. Make more changes as you get used to it.
  • tesemarie
    tesemarie Posts: 37 Member
    I just wanted to pop on here to say that I'm glad you took a positive step for yourself and your health, but the real pay off on this journey will be knowing that you did this for YOU. The journey will bring victories along the way for which you can congratulate yourself! Small accomplishments both on the scale and off, and big ones-- like doing something for the first time that you never thought you'd be able to do! (Mine was taking up running! I never thought it possible!!!). Although looking great will be a bonus and feel that much better when those who have been less than encouraging along the way notice the positive change, the real beauty that will shine through for other's to notice is that YOU feel good about YOU! That confidence is alluring and it comes at any size you are when you know that you have taken control of your body, mind and health. When I started to lose weight I was disgusted by my size, but when I was just 5 or 10 lbs down I felt so much better about how I looked already because when I saw myself in the mirror I knew that I had taken charge. My reflection was just a starting point and I had already gained some confidence that I was empowered to change myself. Make this journey about you and not anyone else. You deserve to feel great about yourself!
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