having reasonable expectations

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I started being serious about losing weight on June 1, 2015
since then I have lost 8 lbs

I started at 230 lbs i'm 5'4" 33 years old and my goal is to lose 130 lbs

i am struggling with reasonable expectations of weight loss. I know it took years for me to gain the weight and it will take time to lose it all.

it's like I have two parts of my brain fighting- the one half that says 8 lbs in 3.5 weeks is really good and the other that wants instant gratification and wants to see it gone faster

-mostly just venting hahaha
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  • invie
    invie Posts: 18 Member
    edited June 2015
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    I feel like it's fine to want to get in shape faster because most ppl like instant gratification. From what I've noticed with ppl losing weight they usually start with smaller goals and a step by step approach.

    For example if they want to lose as much as you do they will set multiple milestone goals to help. That way you can celebrate when you reach each goal instead of feeling like it's so far away. I think 2~ pounds a week is plenty.

    If you don't mind my asking what steps are you taking to lose weight? That might have impact on how fast you lose since muscle burns more calories than fat throughout the day.

    As for your goal, I checked the BMI and it's 17.2. For some people that's a natural state even in their 30s and without trying but it's questionable whether your frame is meant to be that size? If your bones are thicker and weigh more it would be unhealthy. Considering how much weight your bones are carrying now it's hard to tell if your goal is reasonable. I would say once you get closer to a healthier goal weight, reassess your body to see if weighing 100 pounds @ 5'4" is still healthy for you.

    For you something like this world help.

    SW: 230
    GW1: 200
    GW2: 165
    GW3: 130 (reassess your body for
    Final weight to maintain)

  • EmmaFitzwilliam
    EmmaFitzwilliam Posts: 482 Member
    edited June 2015
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    ::hugs:: I started at 220 pounds almost exactly a year ago, and have lost 75 pounds. I've followed a pretty generous eating plan, and a lackadaisical gym plan; your mileage may vary. I went 5 weeks with one pound bounces from 157 to 157. I had one week (when I was sick) during which I lost 5.8 pounds in three days.

    And progress does seem to slow as you reach your goal, and/or long term set points.

    For reference, I'm 5'2" and aiming for 125 with room to rebound up as far as 135 base don how I feel and consultation with my doctor. Also subject to change based on body recomposition.



  • DuckReconMajor
    DuckReconMajor Posts: 434 Member
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    Sounds like you are doing great so far!

    A suggestion: Try calculating out (or using a tool like http://www.wolframalpha.com/ ) when you would hit your goal weight if you lost 0.5lb/week, 1lb/week, 2lb/week. Visualize these dates in your mind. These dates in time are going to come whether you lose the weight or not. But how are you going to feel on those days if you don't lose the weight vs if you do?
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    These dates in time are going to come whether you lose the weight or not. But how are you going to feel on those days if you don't lose the weight vs if you do?

    that is exactly what i tell myself. time is going to pass and i can either be slightly less heavy when the time comes or i can continue to be overweight and unhappy

  • lizzocat
    lizzocat Posts: 356 Member
    edited June 2015
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    That was my biggest obstacle to overcome, and honestly what lead to me failing so many times before- I would have unreasonable expectations and I would end up giving up. This is a lifestyle change, and you're doing it for more than just the 'scale' - focus on hitting milestones and NSV's as well as the scale, and you'll enjoy the whole process a lot more than when you're focusing on the final number, which seems so far away.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    so this is going to be a silly question- but i'm still new to using myfitnesspal....and i've heard that term before and never really understood it---- what exactly is considered a non-scale victory?
  • invie
    invie Posts: 18 Member
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    Being able to do something physically that you weren't able to do before. It could be strength, endurance and stamina related.

    Feeling more energetic...basically anything that you can't measure with a scale.
  • jessiruthica
    jessiruthica Posts: 412 Member
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    A non-scale victory is anything that is not directly related to the numbers on the scale. Things like "today I did a pushup!" "Today my pants are too big!" "Today I passed by the break room and didn't take a donut!" Important things to celebrate because they show changes that may not be directly scale-measurable.
  • DuckReconMajor
    DuckReconMajor Posts: 434 Member
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    Anything you can be proud of that's a result of your commitment to being healthier and more fit. There's lists of possible ones everywhere.

    Some of mine I've had

    I did my first push up and my first pull up earlier this year.
    I'm in 34 waist pants for the first time in I don't know how long
    Medium t-shirts no longer make me feel like I can't breathe and are quite comfortable now.
    Helping a friend move furniture he told me he could tell I was stronger now
    Just seeing the awesome progress in progress pics I've taken (start doing this every month).
  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
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    I completely get this. It depends on each person, but personally, I love having outrageous expectations because it makes you push harder. You just have to be able to deal with it if you don't meet them (because you probably wont). These are my goals:

    3-16-15 (SW): 320.8 lbs
    4-16-15 (1G): 300 lbs => AW: 296.6 lbs
    8-01-15 (2G): 250 lbs => AW:
    1-01-16 (3G): 200 lbs => AW:
    4-02-16 (Fin): 160 lbs => AW:
    ================================================
    Basically, I set my goal to lose 160 lbs in 12.5 months. Now I realize that probably won't happen, but I push myself harder to try and make it. I met my first goal and honestly have a decent shot at my 2nd and 3rd goal. It really depends on you though. If you think failing to meet a goal will make you push harder (but not drive you crazy) then go for it. However, if this is difficult and you fear failure will make things worse (like depression leading you to eat your feelings), then maybe tone it back a bit.

    All in all, just stay dedicated and patient.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Why not just lppk to see what you are doing in terms of deficit calories. Are you making 3500 worth of calories for each 1lb you expect to lose? If you arent, then what makes you specual to tink you need to burn less calories than everyone else? Lots of people think they should lose faster when they simply dont put the work in. Bonkers.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
    edited June 2015
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    999tigger wrote: »
    Why not just lppk to see what you are doing in terms of deficit calories. Are you making 3500 worth of calories for each 1lb you expect to lose? If you arent, then what makes you specual to tink you need to burn less calories than everyone else? Lots of people think they should lose faster when they simply dont put the work in. Bonkers.

    hmm well i don't think i'm special. i realize i don't log meals but i also don't stray from my meal plan which i have down to exactly 1200 calories a day and 90 minutes at the gym 6 days a week (30 minutes strength training and 60 minutes of cardio)- so i don't believe putting the work in is the problem- but thanks

    -in fact as far as my actual weight loss goes, i don't think there really is a problem. my post wasn't about the speed really- it was mostly about accepting it as it is. I am on track to lose 10 lbs my first month, which is 2.5 lbs a week which I believe is healthy. I just need to get 100% OK with the fact that it will be slow progress- just like gaining the weight was
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    A non-scale victory is anything that is not directly related to the numbers on the scale. Things like "today I did a pushup!" "Today my pants are too big!" "Today I passed by the break room and didn't take a donut!" Important things to celebrate because they show changes that may not be directly scale-measurable.

    I have those! LOL the last week i've been able to do "assisted" dips and chin ups---- now the assist machines offset most of my weight but i'm still able to do about 15 at 60 lbs.... I was super excited about that
  • NH_1970
    NH_1970 Posts: 544 Member
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    Slow and steady is okay. I used to want to be like bring it on! I can conquer anything! go, go, go! yea so that's what my head was saying LOL but there was a disconnect somewhere for me because my body wasn't showing the way that attitude was.
    So slow and steady has done it. 8 pounds is a lot and good for you! I'm just going to say what has worked for me, and it won't work for everyone because we're all just different.
    Being my own cheer leader, as in saying positive things to myself, recently when I was heard being very honest about how my mind was working someone said I want you to write the ABC's and for every letter write something positive about yourself. (I wasn't seeing the positive in me)
    Finding what I'm grateful for helps my attitude (even what I'm grateful for about weight loss)
    I write every week (reminds me I have to do this weeks) why I want to lose weight a lot of times my lists repeat themselves but it helps keep me motivated and positive. I started with exactly how I felt with the first one being about being 44, obese with health problems so I could see when I got to healthy, how far I had come.
    Praying/Meditation or talks with the Universe help my attitude and connects me to where I am supposed to be.
    Not taking negative turds seriously. Sometimes peeps have bad 'tudes that's just a reflection of how their mind works. So I shake it off. https://youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
    I notice NSV - like I walked 4 miles today, WOOT! Go me! I know that 6 months ago I couldn't do that much.
    Last night I lifted 5lbs weights (10 total) for my upper body and got through my goals of what I wanted to do. Go Me! a year ago I wouldn't have had the motivation to do that.
    Also I now set mini goals. Like I have 7 lbs more to lose until my next mini goal is reached. The looking at a huge amount of weight to lose even though that's reality it was like well s.it I'm never going to be able to do that, BUT I can do 15 lbs at a time. I know my ultimate goal tho but I'm focusing on the smaller ones because I need the 'up' of reaching little goals so I don't get discouraged, and I update my ticker now.
    I listen to positive music, read positive stuff, I try to find stuff to laugh about so I take life and myself and weight loss a lot less serious, it has to have some fun on/in it.

    So best of luck to you :)

  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    the other that wants instant gratification and wants to see it gone faster

    ofc nothing to do with speed. Ofc 2.5lbs a week is reasonable expectation. You do realise weight loss is not linear and that what you lose at the beginning changes a lot from what you lose at the end.

    Also your insistence, that you dont log, but know you are exactly at 1200 calories. See if you think the same about weight loss at the end of your journey.

    Btw you completely missed the point.
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
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    Like others said, I personally thought my smaller goals helped me with the instant gratification. I had over 100 pounds to lose. My first goal was 25 pounds. It seemed a lot more attainable and not so far away. I rewarded myself with non food items when I hit that. I did that for the first 75 pounds then it went to every 10 pounds. At one point I let myself download a new song for every pound.

    You are doing great so far, keep up the good work.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
    edited June 2015
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    999tigger wrote: »

    the other that wants instant gratification and wants to see it gone faster

    ofc nothing to do with speed. Ofc 2.5lbs a week is reasonable expectation. You do realise weight loss is not linear and that what you lose at the beginning changes a lot from what you lose at the end.

    Also your insistence, that you dont log, but know you are exactly at 1200 calories. See if you think the same about weight loss at the end of your journey.

    Btw you completely missed the point.

    i think you missed the point- yes i want instant gratification- doesn't everyone? but in the real world that's not always possible- that is a MENTAL thing, not a weight loss thing. and yes, i measure and weigh and prepare food very carefully every day- i just don't type it into the computer, so- that throws off calories somehow?- and i eat literally the same thing every day- so i know my calories.

    clearly we differ on what the idea of motivation and support is btw- but i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day :)
  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
    edited June 2015
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    ....i realize i don't log meals but i also don't stray from my meal plan which i have down to exactly 1200 calories a day....

    Not trying to be "un-supportive" here; but if your trying to make sure you only eat 1200 calories a day, then why aren't you logging your meals? Maybe I just don't understand, but that doesn't make much sense to me.

    Just seems like an easy check to make sure what your eating and keep an accurate log. I often use what I ate and the nutrients I consumed (because calories aren't the only thing) and compare it to my weight loss to determine any possible correlations. Also, if you do make the same thing everyday, you can create your own meal. That way you only have to really "create/log" it once, then you can just click on the meal every time after that. Literally takes 5 seconds at that point.

    On a side not, un-weight related goals are a great idea.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
    edited June 2015
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    JMC3Terp wrote: »
    ....i realize i don't log meals but i also don't stray from my meal plan which i have down to exactly 1200 calories a day....

    Not trying to be "un-supportive" here; but if your trying to make sure you only eat 1200 calories a day, then why aren't you logging your meals? Maybe I just don't understand, but that doesn't make much sense to me.

    On a side not, un-weight related goals are a great idea.

    i weigh my food from my meal plan daily to make sure each and every day i eat exactly the same amount of food daily, so i do count calories- i just don't take the time to enter them. i'm not sure how that changes the calorie counts at all? haha i don't snack throughout the day so i'm not eating so often that i can't keep track of what food i'm eating
  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
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    For me it is simply just an easy calculating system to compare days and tell me my protein levels, carbs, sugars, fats, vitamins, etc... and allows me to compare my macros. When I am struggling to lose as much, I examine that kind of stuff to see if something in my diet could be the cause of that. Also, I just like having a record of what I have eaten while dieting. It personally helps me be more accountable.

    Furthermore, when asking for help; it can be beneficial to say: "Here's my diary entries, can anyone take a look and tell me if there is anything in my diet that might be causing this" Hell you can even take it to your doctor/nutritionist. If you don't keep record though (like through MFP), it is difficult to do that.

    Not saying you have to log though. I was just curious what you thought the benefit of not logging was.

    :)