having reasonable expectations

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  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
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    Sounds like you are doing great so far!

    A suggestion: Try calculating out (or using a tool like http://www.wolframalpha.com/ ) when you would hit your goal weight if you lost 0.5lb/week, 1lb/week, 2lb/week. Visualize these dates in your mind. These dates in time are going to come whether you lose the weight or not. But how are you going to feel on those days if you don't lose the weight vs if you do?
    Totally loved this calculating tool!
    It has helped me to re-frame my loss in pounds to time. For example when I lost 16 pounds, I was at the same weight I was five years earlier, so I said to myself and others, I have lost 5 years of weight in two months. It really helped me keep it in perspective how long it had taken me to gain verses how fast I was losing.

  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
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    I started being serious about losing weight on June 1, 2015
    since then I have lost 8 lbs

    I started at 230 lbs i'm 5'4" 33 years old and my goal is to lose 130 lbs

    i am struggling with reasonable expectations of weight loss. I know it took years for me to gain the weight and it will take time to lose it all.

    it's like I have two parts of my brain fighting- the one half that says 8 lbs in 3.5 weeks is really good and the other that wants instant gratification and wants to see it gone faster

    -mostly just venting hahaha

    Why would you want to weigh 100 pounds at your height ?
    I am under five feet tall and even for me 100 pounds is at the lower end of normal.
    I think it is great that you are undertaking steps to get to a healthier you......except weighing 100 pounds is really not healthy.
    Good Luck !

  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
    edited June 2015
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    JMC3Terp wrote: »
    For me it is simply just an easy calculating system to compare days and tell me my protein levels, carbs, sugars, fats, vitamins, etc... and allows me to compare my macros. When I am struggling to lose as much, I examine that kind of stuff to see if something in my diet could be the cause of that. Also, I just like having a record of what I have eaten while dieting. It personally helps me be more accountable.

    Furthermore, when asking for help; it can be beneficial to say: "Here's my diary entries, can anyone take a look and tell me if there is anything in my diet that might be causing this" Hell you can even take it to your doctor/nutritionist. If you don't keep record though (like through MFP), it is difficult to do that.

    Not saying you have to log though. I was just curious what you thought the benefit of not logging was.

    :)

    that makes sense :) I didn't really believe there was a benefit of not logging per se. Just making the time in my schedule to weigh and count calories took some doing so making more time to actually enter that information just didn't seem super appealing haha....but I def. see your point and will probably change that
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    edited June 2015
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    the other that wants instant gratification and wants to see it gone faster

    clearly we differ on what the idea of motivation and support is btw- but i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day :)

    Because you said on the one had its about you not being happy with speed and then on the other you say its about speed and it not being fast enough. The point was reasonable expectations and understanding how it works mean you cna make rational conclusions based on the size of the deficit you generate due to CICO. If you keep CICO at the centre and sue the generated deficit for what it is reasonable to expect , then thats a good way to avoid frustration and keep yourself grounded. That is support by helping you understand.

    If you dont want to log thats cool and you will have to see by results, but not logging or failure to log accurately is the #1 reason for people writing on these forums about not losing. See how it goes. Not that you cant lose just recognise that for many it is a weakness in controlling their deficit.

    See if you have the same views about weight loss when you get to target.
  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
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    that makes sense :) I didn't really believe there was a benefit of not logging per se. Just making the time in my schedule to weigh and count calories took some doing so making more time to actually enter that information just didn't seem super appealing haha....but I def. see your point and will probably change that

    And like I said. If you make the same stuff a lot. You can create it as a meal and then you wont have to add each and every ingredient every time.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
    edited June 2015
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    JMC3Terp wrote: »
    that makes sense :) I didn't really believe there was a benefit of not logging per se. Just making the time in my schedule to weigh and count calories took some doing so making more time to actually enter that information just didn't seem super appealing haha....but I def. see your point and will probably change that

    And like I said. If you make the same stuff a lot. You can create it as a meal and then you wont have to add each and every ingredient every time.

    hmm i'll have to look at it and figure out how to create meals in it- since I do eat the same thing every day- that would def. help make me more consistent in logging

    thanks for the tip!
  • invie
    invie Posts: 18 Member
    edited June 2015
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    It could be healthy if you're built for that weight, i.e. tiny bones and no boobs/butt.

    However if someone isn't built for it, it's not healthy. I already mentioned it before but the OP chose to ignore post so I doubt she'll answer this question

    Most likely when she gets closer to her goal weight, she might reevaluate what she wants her final weight to be.
    Ang108 wrote: »

    Why would you want to weigh 100 pounds at your height ?
    I am under five feet tall and even for me 100 pounds is at the lower end of normal.
    I think it is great that you are undertaking steps to get to a healthier you......except weighing 100 pounds is really not healthy.
    Good Luck !

  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    invie wrote: »
    It could be healthy if you're built for that weight, i.e. tiny bones and no boobs/butt.

    However if someone isn't built for it, it's not healthy. I already mentioned it before but the OP chose to ignore post so I doubt she'll answer this question

    Most likely when she gets closer to her goal weight, she might reevaluate how much wants to weigh.
    Ang108 wrote: »

    Why would you want to weigh 100 pounds at your height ?
    I am under five feet tall and even for me 100 pounds is at the lower end of normal.
    I think it is great that you are undertaking steps to get to a healthier you......except weighing 100 pounds is really not healthy.
    Good Luck !


    sorry i am at work and i think i missed some of the responses
    that was a total typo..i meant to say i want to lose 100 lbs
  • invie
    invie Posts: 18 Member
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    Aaaaah. That's a healthier and more realistic expectation. If you're losing ten a month you'll probably hit your goal within the year. Slow and steady is the best course. It's easier on your body and means there's more time to let your skin adjust.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    invie wrote: »
    Aaaaah. That's a healthier and more realistic expectation. If you're losing ten a month you'll probably hit your goal within the year. Slow and steady is the best course. It's easier on your body and means there's more time to let your skin adjust.

    haha...yeah if i weighed 100 lbs i'd have other issues. I think while i was multitasking my brain was torn between typing my goal weight (130 lbs) and my goal weight loss (100 lbs)

    btw the skin thing, i am always worried about that. I hope losing slow enough as well as the strength training will help prevent that
  • NikiChicken
    NikiChicken Posts: 576 Member
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    999tigger wrote: »
    Why not just lppk to see what you are doing in terms of deficit calories. Are you making 3500 worth of calories for each 1lb you expect to lose? If you arent, then what makes you specual to tink you need to burn less calories than everyone else? Lots of people think they should lose faster when they simply dont put the work in. Bonkers.

    hmm well i don't think i'm special. i realize i don't log meals but i also don't stray from my meal plan which i have down to exactly 1200 calories a day and 90 minutes at the gym 6 days a week (30 minutes strength training and 60 minutes of cardio)- so i don't believe putting the work in is the problem- but thanks

    -in fact as far as my actual weight loss goes, i don't think there really is a problem. my post wasn't about the speed really- it was mostly about accepting it as it is. I am on track to lose 10 lbs my first month, which is 2.5 lbs a week which I believe is healthy. I just need to get 100% OK with the fact that it will be slow progress- just like gaining the weight was

    A few things jump out at me.

    First, you said you are 5'4" and started at 230 and want to lose 130. 100 pounds seems like an awfully low weight for someone who is 5'4". In fact, it is underweight according to BMI. Make sure you are setting reasonable, sustainable goals.

    Second, you say that you are eating the exact same meal plan day in and day out and exercising 90 minutes per day, six days per week. Is this sustainable for the long-term? You need to lose weight by eating and exercising in a way that can be maintained FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE because if you don't, you will likely gain the weight right back afterwards. This shouldn't be a diet used to lose the weight with a license to start eating what you want after you've lost the weight because that mindset will kill you (both literally and figuratively). I totally understand it though. I've done it more than once and why I am right back here trying to lose all the weight for the last time! Learn from my mistakes!

    My advice for healthy, sustainable weight loss that will hopefully last....
    1. Figure out how many calories you need to eat to lose at a moderate pace (.5-2 lbs. per week and this will likely be more per week in the beginning and slow as you get closer to goal)
    2. Get a food scale and weigh, measure and log everything you eat. That means EVERYTHING
    3. Eat a variety of foods including ALL of the foods you like and enjoy (this means working in things like pizza, burger, fries, chocolate and ice cream!)
    4. Exercise for fitness, not weight loss. All weight loss happens in the kitchen, not the gym. If you don't eat at a calorie deficit, you won't lose, no matter how much you exercise. So pick an exercise (or exercises) that you enjoy and move your body for all the other benefits of exercise - like stress relief, building muscles, looking good out of your clothing as well as inside your clothing, building a strong and healthy heart and lungs, etc., etc., etc.
    5. Take a deep breath and tuck in for a long haul. Like you have already said, you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it that way either. Healthy, sustainable weight loss takes a LONG time for most people. Life isn't the Biggest Loser and I hate that show because it is so far from reality and seems to make people believe that rate of weight loss is normal and healthy.
    6. Read the Getting Started Must Reads thread posted at the top of the Getting Started message board. There is some fantastic advice there.
    7. Be patient and kind to yourself. This is life. Mistakes happen, celebrations, birthdays, retirements and parties happen, surprises happen. Learn to go with the flow, make the best choices you can at the time and then get right back on the horse the next day. You didn't gain weight because of one day's celebrations and one day's celebrations won't ruin your efforts. It's your pattern of behavior over time that will make or break your weight loss efforts.
    8. Take one day at a time and make the best possible choices you can for each day as they come. Sometimes, you might even have to break that down to one hour at a time!
    9. Be persistent. Motivation will wax and wane, so persistence will be what carries you through.


    My stats are a little similar to yours. I am 5'4" and my goal was 120 pounds, but I started at 263. I am now down 92 pounds and have 28 pounds to go. Has it gone fast? I wish! It's taken a long, slow time. However, I am still 92 pounds less than when I started and the time would have passed regardless. I have learned a whole host of things about myself and living a healthy lifestyle along the way. Take each day as a gift and learn all you can as you move forward. No matter how long it takes, you are likely to find that the trip was well worth the price of admission.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
    edited June 2015
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    999tigger wrote: »
    Why not just lppk to see what you are doing in terms of deficit calories. Are you making 3500 worth of calories for each 1lb you expect to lose? If you arent, then what makes you specual to tink you need to burn less calories than everyone else? Lots of people think they should lose faster when they simply dont put the work in. Bonkers.

    hmm well i don't think i'm special. i realize i don't log meals but i also don't stray from my meal plan which i have down to exactly 1200 calories a day and 90 minutes at the gym 6 days a week (30 minutes strength training and 60 minutes of cardio)- so i don't believe putting the work in is the problem- but thanks

    -in fact as far as my actual weight loss goes, i don't think there really is a problem. my post wasn't about the speed really- it was mostly about accepting it as it is. I am on track to lose 10 lbs my first month, which is 2.5 lbs a week which I believe is healthy. I just need to get 100% OK with the fact that it will be slow progress- just like gaining the weight was

    A few things jump out at me.

    First, you said you are 5'4" and started at 230 and want to lose 130. 100 pounds seems like an awfully low weight for someone who is 5'4". In fact, it is underweight according to BMI. Make sure you are setting reasonable, sustainable goals.

    Second, you say that you are eating the exact same meal plan day in and day out and exercising 90 minutes per day, six days per week. Is this sustainable for the long-term? You need to lose weight by eating and exercising in a way that can be maintained FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE because if you don't, you will likely gain the weight right back afterwards. This shouldn't be a diet used to lose the weight with a license to start eating what you want after you've lost the weight because that mindset will kill you (both literally and figuratively). I totally understand it though. I've done it more than once and why I am right back here trying to lose all the weight for the last time! Learn from my mistakes!

    My advice for healthy, sustainable weight loss that will hopefully last....
    1. Figure out how many calories you need to eat to lose at a moderate pace (.5-2 lbs. per week and this will likely be more per week in the beginning and slow as you get closer to goal)
    2. Get a food scale and weigh, measure and log everything you eat. That means EVERYTHING
    3. Eat a variety of foods including ALL of the foods you like and enjoy (this means working in things like pizza, burger, fries, chocolate and ice cream!)
    4. Exercise for fitness, not weight loss. All weight loss happens in the kitchen, not the gym. If you don't eat at a calorie deficit, you won't lose, no matter how much you exercise. So pick an exercise (or exercises) that you enjoy and move your body for all the other benefits of exercise - like stress relief, building muscles, looking good out of your clothing as well as inside your clothing, building a strong and healthy heart and lungs, etc., etc., etc.
    5. Take a deep breath and tuck in for a long haul. Like you have already said, you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it that way either. Healthy, sustainable weight loss takes a LONG time for most people. Life isn't the Biggest Loser and I hate that show because it is so far from reality and seems to make people believe that rate of weight loss is normal and healthy.
    6. Read the Getting Started Must Reads thread posted at the top of the Getting Started message board. There is some fantastic advice there.
    7. Be patient and kind to yourself. This is life. Mistakes happen, celebrations, birthdays, retirements and parties happen, surprises happen. Learn to go with the flow, make the best choices you can at the time and then get right back on the horse the next day. You didn't gain weight because of one day's celebrations and one day's celebrations won't ruin your efforts. It's your pattern of behavior over time that will make or break your weight loss efforts.
    8. Take one day at a time and make the best possible choices you can for each day as they come. Sometimes, you might even have to break that down to one hour at a time!
    9. Be persistent. Motivation will wax and wane, so persistence will be what carries you through.


    My stats are a little similar to yours. I am 5'4" and my goal was 120 pounds, but I started at 263. I am now down 92 pounds and have 28 pounds to go. Has it gone fast? I wish! It's taken a long, slow time. However, I am still 92 pounds less than when I started and the time would have passed regardless. I have learned a whole host of things about myself and living a healthy lifestyle along the way. Take each day as a gift and learn all you can as you move forward. No matter how long it takes, you are likely to find that the trip was well worth the price of admission.



    thanks for replying. I really appreciate all the tips i can get at this point :)

    to address some of the things you mentioned

    -i realized i typed weight loss of 130 lbs, that was a typo :blush: my goal weight is 130lbs...goal weight loss 100 lbs


    I do own a food scale and something does not go into my mouth until it has been weighed haha

    -i am addicted to the stairmill, IMO it is the best cardio out there and i love doing it :) I have also found a lot of happiness with the assisted dip/chin up machine and other weight machines... i really do love working out and am finding the workouts that make me the happiest

    -i know my food habits right now are not sustainable forever. I will be changing and adjusting as my journey moves forward

    your point #7 is probably the hardest for me: but i am learning to allow for little adjustments. my first test will be next week at a work lunch i have to attend
  • NikiChicken
    NikiChicken Posts: 576 Member
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    HarleyQuinn, I wondered if that was a typo with your weight but I just wanted to make sure. I'm very glad to see my suspicion was correct!

    I'm so glad to see that you are receptive to help and advice. That will serve you well as you go forward!

    #7 is a hard one for everyone, including myself, I think. However, it's very, very important. Just remember, if you do decide to indulge or fall off the wagon for a day, it's not the end of the world. Just pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and jump back into the saddle!

    Good luck to you! With your attitude, you will be successful.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    I'm so glad to see that you are receptive to help and advice. That will serve you well as you go forward!

    #7 is a hard one for everyone, including myself, I think. However, it's very, very important. Just remember, if you do decide to indulge or fall off the wagon for a day, it's not the end of the world. Just pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and jump back into the saddle!

    Good luck to you! With your attitude, you will be successful.

    thank you! i think advice is really important- especially from people who have done it themselves. If i knew everything, i wouldn't be in the position of having to lose 100 lbs lol

    the forums are great reading for motivation and i appreciate everyone who responded :smiley:
  • EmmaFitzwilliam
    EmmaFitzwilliam Posts: 482 Member
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    I also agree with the previous posters who mentioned the small rewards for interim goals. My roommate is awesome and she bought a bunch of presents (each costing <$20) for each "0" I reached (i.e., 210, 200, 190, etc.). Because I weigh myself every day, we had an agreement that a "zero" counted when I logged xx0.0 for three days in a row.

    I'm on my last 20 pounds to lose, so I've promised myself rewards at the 5s as well as the 0s.

    Small things that are not food to celebrate are really awesome.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    I also agree with the previous posters who mentioned the small rewards for interim goals. My roommate is awesome and she bought a bunch of presents (each costing <$20) for each "0" I reached (i.e., 210, 200, 190, etc.). Because I weigh myself every day, we had an agreement that a "zero" counted when I logged xx0.0 for three days in a row.

    I'm on my last 20 pounds to lose, so I've promised myself rewards at the 5s as well as the 0s.

    Small things that are not food to celebrate are really awesome.

    I love rewards... i told myself if i lost 10 lbs this first month then i would get a tattoo i've been wanting to get (ok, i know that is more than a small reward but i needed it to be big to keep me motivated to get through the first month and start building a habit lol)
  • EmmaFitzwilliam
    EmmaFitzwilliam Posts: 482 Member
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    I love rewards... i told myself if i lost 10 lbs this first month then i would get a tattoo i've been wanting to get (ok, i know that is more than a small reward but i needed it to be big to keep me motivated to get through the first month and start building a habit lol)

    Whatever works for you and your budget! I will note that depending on how much weight you lose, you will have changes in your skin, as well. That would be one argument for waiting, if it's a large tattoo or in a place that may change significantly.