Just plain greedy?
mammytotwo
Posts: 202 Member
Hi everyone
I started here in earnest at the end of January 2015. I lost 13 pounds. My goal was to lose about 20 - 25 pounds. Some time in early May I fell of the wagon completely. I have put back on probably 10 of those 13 pounds. Why? I don't know.......!
Well of course I do know in as much that I ate over my calorie requirements and did not create a deficit whereby I would lose some weight. That's the logic and I am so mad with myself - I start every day and make a promise to myself that I will stick to my plan. I pre-log my foods (off-line as I can't be online at work) and by about 3pm I've hit my calorie allowance and then the slide starts.
I have been exercising more in the past month than I ever have in my life. I now really know what 'dripping sweat' means! At a spinning class on Tuesday morning I thought I was going to be sick and finally understood how those poor contestants on The Biggest Loser feel when they chuck up everywhere! TMI - sorry. Exercise is making me feel great and I am seeing some definition in my body from the 2 - 3 days weight training I do.
I just feel like I am failing at the food part. For some weeks I've done ok Monday - Friday and then on Saturday I hit the bottle! My husband and I enjoy meeting friends at the weekend and that more often than not involves lots of food and wine........any kind of hangover then sends me to the kitchen and carb fest begins for the day.
I know where I am going wrong. I know what to do to get it right. I have done it before and was feeling great.
I have the worlds most boring job so a lot of the day is consumed with thinking about food and then I just say 'oh who cares, I'm going to have x y or z and start again tomorrow'. Such sabotage.......can anyone advise me? Am I just greedy? But when I am looking at the piece of food I'm feeling actual hunger (or so I tell myself grrrrrr!)
I see so many forum answers along the lines of 'create a deficit and lose the weight = easy'. I'm finding it so hard. I wanted to look my best ever for my 40 birthday in 5 weeks time. I was doing so well......now I'm back to square one and fast approaching my birthday.
I realise this post is a bit of a ramble but I'm wondering can anyone identify with me and offer words of wisdom?
Thank you
From Fit but Fat at Forty!!
I started here in earnest at the end of January 2015. I lost 13 pounds. My goal was to lose about 20 - 25 pounds. Some time in early May I fell of the wagon completely. I have put back on probably 10 of those 13 pounds. Why? I don't know.......!
Well of course I do know in as much that I ate over my calorie requirements and did not create a deficit whereby I would lose some weight. That's the logic and I am so mad with myself - I start every day and make a promise to myself that I will stick to my plan. I pre-log my foods (off-line as I can't be online at work) and by about 3pm I've hit my calorie allowance and then the slide starts.
I have been exercising more in the past month than I ever have in my life. I now really know what 'dripping sweat' means! At a spinning class on Tuesday morning I thought I was going to be sick and finally understood how those poor contestants on The Biggest Loser feel when they chuck up everywhere! TMI - sorry. Exercise is making me feel great and I am seeing some definition in my body from the 2 - 3 days weight training I do.
I just feel like I am failing at the food part. For some weeks I've done ok Monday - Friday and then on Saturday I hit the bottle! My husband and I enjoy meeting friends at the weekend and that more often than not involves lots of food and wine........any kind of hangover then sends me to the kitchen and carb fest begins for the day.
I know where I am going wrong. I know what to do to get it right. I have done it before and was feeling great.
I have the worlds most boring job so a lot of the day is consumed with thinking about food and then I just say 'oh who cares, I'm going to have x y or z and start again tomorrow'. Such sabotage.......can anyone advise me? Am I just greedy? But when I am looking at the piece of food I'm feeling actual hunger (or so I tell myself grrrrrr!)
I see so many forum answers along the lines of 'create a deficit and lose the weight = easy'. I'm finding it so hard. I wanted to look my best ever for my 40 birthday in 5 weeks time. I was doing so well......now I'm back to square one and fast approaching my birthday.
I realise this post is a bit of a ramble but I'm wondering can anyone identify with me and offer words of wisdom?
Thank you
From Fit but Fat at Forty!!
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Replies
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What's your calorie allowance?
I understand - alcohol is my biggest downfall. I can walk away from any food but put a beer in front of me and I'm done.0 -
MFP gives me 1530 approx to lose 0.5 per week. I know some people would see that as a feast! I think (using MPF as a guide) that 5 days per week I've been earning 500 exercise cals so to keep things accurate I only allow myself 300 of those. So my target is 1800 - 1900 a day (on exercise days).
I'm 5'7" and weighed in this morning at 171 pounds.
I'm on a bit of a downer this evening thinking - jeez I can't stick to 1800 cals per day without meals out and alcohol so I might as well say goodbye to any fun times.......
It shouldn't be this hard!
Attitude.........greed............perceived hunger. Are these my problems.
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Eat at a deficit is simple-not easy
Can you bank your exercise calories during the week for your blow-out weekends? I vary my calories so I can eat more on days I go out, or feel "greedy".
Also, I'm 5'7" and have a higher calorie goal-and I struggle as well. You're not greedy or defective or whatever, you're normal0 -
I'll add you in a bit and look at your food diary if you've been keeping it up to date. Are you eating enough protein? If you're dialing in your nutrition on a daily basis then a drink on Saturday with something more gluttonous than you normally eat is what you always hear people refer to as a treat meal which is good for your metabolism. However...if you know that you can't stop at one, then this should NOT be your treat when out with friends but maybe enjoyed at home twice a week rather than saving up and "bingeing". If you want to commit then you have to be honest with yourself.0
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I think banking my exercise calories and saving those for the weekend will be the only way that I will be able to stick at this long-term. So that leaves me back at 1530 per day......hangry!
bmchenry02 - I log my foods offline as I don't have internet access at work so it's easier for me that way. If I'm honest I would say that I eat too many carbs - while some of these would be classed as good carbs - oatmeal, high fibre brown bread - others wouldn't be so good. Maybe too many carbs is making me hungier.
Thanks for all your input so far.
Does anyone agree that it might be a good idea to go through a few days of very low calorie intake to try and get back in the zone. Can one shrink their appetite? Or am I kidding myself......I thought that if I ate lets say 1000 for three days (of pure hell I realise!) that on the fourth day 1530 would seem like heaven.0 -
mammytotwo wrote: »I think banking my exercise calories and saving those for the weekend will be the only way that I will be able to stick at this long-term. So that leaves me back at 1530 per day......hangry!
bmchenry02 - I log my foods offline as I don't have internet access at work so it's easier for me that way. If I'm honest I would say that I eat too many carbs - while some of these would be classed as good carbs - oatmeal, high fibre brown bread - others wouldn't be so good. Maybe too many carbs is making me hungier.
Thanks for all your input so far.
Does anyone agree that it might be a good idea to go through a few days of very low calorie intake to try and get back in the zone. Can one shrink their appetite? Or am I kidding myself......I thought that if I ate lets say 1000 for three days (of pure hell I realise!) that on the fourth day 1530 would seem like heaven.
No. Eat reasonably. Save enough calories to indulge-but not so many that you are starving. Try switching up your diet a bit, increase protein and see how your hunger levels are. Carbs are not the enemy, but increased protein and/or fat can help with hunger levels. Ensure you are logging correctly and not eating more than you think.
Stop looking for a quick fix. Eat less than you burn and you'll lose weight. The rest is just white noise.0 -
Have you tried pre logging your days to help keep you on track? Do you make sure you're getting enough fats and proteins and not over restricting?0
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White noise I get! I have spent a long time trying to lose weight and have considered many wacky diets which I think would fall under 'white noise' category.
I'm not looking for a quick fix. Believe me I know that with the way my life is and how much I love food/wine/chocolate 0.5 pounds per week would be amazing for me. I would take 0.25 pounds per week loss - why not!
Ok so I will definitely look at my overall diet and try to incorporate foods that will make me feel more full. Funny, I stopped eating fruit recently - I began to think it was a waste of calories cause I never felt satsified after eating a piece of fruit but maybe I was mistaken.
I was beginning to question my appetite. How could I not be full on 1800 cals per day? I'm glad to see that others feel the same.
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There is a hole you are trying to fill. You get to choose what you fill it with. If you have time to think at work, plan something, anything that doesn't include food. Look to your future or past. Imagine your dream house not your dream meal, remember a happy time (that doesn't involve food) in great detail. Find ways to have fun or socialize that don't involve food or drink. Control your thoughts and it will be easier to control your appetite.0
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mammytotwo wrote: »White noise I get! I have spent a long time trying to lose weight and have considered many wacky diets which I think would fall under 'white noise' category.
I'm not looking for a quick fix. Believe me I know that with the way my life is and how much I love food/wine/chocolate 0.5 pounds per week would be amazing for me. I would take 0.25 pounds per week loss - why not!
Ok so I will definitely look at my overall diet and try to incorporate foods that will make me feel more full. Funny, I stopped eating fruit recently - I began to think it was a waste of calories cause I never felt satsified after eating a piece of fruit but maybe I was mistaken.
I was beginning to question my appetite. How could I not be full on 1800 cals per day? I'm glad to see that others feel the same.
Poke around the forums, their are some great suggestions about satiety, etc. Some people love volume (think lots of veggies).
I love food also! Their is some sacrifice, but you can totally fit in foods you love. It doesn't have to be "bingeing" on the weekends. In fact, banking my calories stops me from bingeing. Sometimes I'm not as hungry, so I don't eat as much. Other times I could eat a house, and I eat more.
1800 calories is not a ton, despite what people may say. It is legitimate to be hungry. Find what works for you, accept that SOME hunger is normal, and allow the weekend treats that you obviously find important. You got this.0 -
The best analogy I can come up with is you seem to be trying to fill a water balloon with a mister during the week, then using a power sprayer on the weekend.
Approaching food choices with misery and deprivation during the week to be made up for on the weekend is not likely to lead to success.
That we have all been taught that's (essentially) how to do it doesn't make it any easier to stop.
I identified foods that were really important to me to be able to eat without guilt. Dark chocolate, cheese, whole-fat milk, etc. I acknowledged that if I wanted these foods, I had to eat them in smaller portions.
Even today, I forgot to turn my scale on as I poured my muesli into a to go container - and poured a double portion. Fortunately it was a to go container, and I realized what had happened; I simply grabbed another to go container and split the muesli between two of them.
I make my food choices to maximize my satiety within my calorie goal.
When I eat something with a *lot* of calories, I stop whatever else I am doing and focus entirely on enjoying that food item.
Knowledge is power. Look up how big a portion is, and how many calories are in a portion, of your favorite foods. Then assess whether that food is worth it.
You can do it!
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daniwilford - I completely agree with what you say. Easier said than done though........as I said I'm hitting 40 and haven't learnt how to control my thoughts yet. But I know it's key..........
slaite1 - I think I'm a volume girl! You know I'm ok with some hunger for a while ......I have to learn that if I have a binge/whatever you want to call it that I need to get straight back into it the next meal/day. The binge I started in May is ongoing.........now that is ridiculous. 10 pounds later.....
Satiety. Fat. Protein. Not letting my mind take over. I've learnt some things in the past hour.
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Thanks all. Better go sleep now. I'm up in 6 hours with 2 babies! Now that's a whole other can of worms....tired mommy = hungry mommy.
Advanced circuit training at 9am - I WILL burn off some of what I ate this evening.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Thank you for convincing me to get back on the wagon tomorrow.
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Recently I have come to really appreciate the research that reveals that if we think we are eating a high calorie food then we will compensate by eating less later in the day. Since I banned all diet foods from my menus I find it is so much easier to stick within calories. Every time I have some spare calories that need eating I reward myself with a high calorie treat like nuts or peanut butter - just a taste, sometimes. Knowing that I have 'rewarded' myself already helps me to not be tempted by any other 'treats' that day.
Hope you find a way to keep within your calorie budget for the week.0 -
You're not logging anything. There's not a single day in the last two weeks where you logged a complete day, and most were completely blank. You say you pre-log your food, but where? As for the weekends. Try not drinking any alcohol for a few weeks. Besides saving you calories that you can instead use on chocolate, it also keeps your mind clear when you're socializing so you make good food choices. Also, sounds like you're depressed over your weekend activities, and since alcohol is a depressant, avoiding the wine on weekends might give you a better mental attitude. I'm not saying give up the wine forever (hey, you gave it up while pregnant, so you know you can do it), but it sounds like you need a mental re-set, and maybe this would do it. Just a thought.0
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I'm a volume eater too.
Today I had a huge, I mean huge bowl of:
Broccoli
Baby kale
1 avocado
1/2 large can wild salmon
4 small sliced beets
1/2 lime squeezed in
1 tblsp olive oil
Afterwards I had a bowl of cherries
I am still very full-hours later.
Do you think you would be more satisfied if you ate this way?
For breakfast I had 3 large eggs over easy, a few raw cashews and some baby carrots. Oh, and I fried the eggs in olive oil.
I was full for hours and I also had a 65 minute workout.
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Weight loss isn't about numbers. It's all mental.
You can't math your way into it or buy your way into it.
Knowing how it works isn't a big help. Might help people who didn't learn about calories in school, but the vast majority of fat people know how it works. It's finding their way to thin that each person has to struggle with. And every single one of us is unique, so we will all have a slightly different way of getting there.
I have no wisdom. I have no advice. I wish I did.
But I really believe that if you truly want it, you can do it and will find your way. Keep plugging along and you'll succeed.
Don't give up.
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Have you tried lower calorie booze? There are recipes for mixed drinks that are fairly low cal. Perhaps for the next 5wks if you really really want to be your best at 40, you just sacrifice. Perhaps in that time you will find that you don't need it to have fun. I know that is probably not what you want to hear but I had to give up the booze for 9 months to reach my goals and it was completely and totally worth it. I would do it again in a heart beat. 9 months of misery is so much less painful than a life of not liking the mirror.0
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She says she's logging offline. Not sure what that is, or how accurate...
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How are you tracking your calories because you aren't logging in your diary? Are you weighing all your solids using a digital scale? Measuring cups for caloric liquids only? When dieting you can't have it all. Calories have to be cut from somewhere in order to create the deficit necessary for fat loss. Caloric liquids aren't filling. For me, it would easily derail me as I'm a volume eater. Do you really need to consume alcohol to hangover inducing quantities to have a good time?0
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Two things - you've noted that you want to look your best for your birthday so when you feel yourself sliding remember that goal and ask yourself "will that extra snack help you get there?". Secondly, if drinking is becoming an issue why not sign up for "Dry July" - its a fundraiser over here in NZ and Australia but there may be something closer to home - where essentially people are sponsored to not drink for a month the NZ link is: https://nz.dryjuly.com/. Could be something done with a group of friends as well.
Good luck - I have my 40th in October set as the half way point to my goal and am finding it quite motivating since I'll be holidaying and want to be OK with photos being taken0 -
You might benefit from more advance planning and pre-logging your whole day. You can see how your choices will work out.
I log my whole day the night before or in the morning. It only takes a few minutes. You could then write it down or print it out on paper to consult as you go through the day.
If you want to lose weight you might have to learn how to socialize and have fun in a different way on the weekends.
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I've been mad at myself too. Gotten completely out of control, and gained most of what was lost. I have been using MFP for 2 years. I like the idea of advance planning!0
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This is probably the most insightful, thoughtful, true post I've read in the 18 months I've been on MFP. Thank you!daniwilford wrote: »There is a hole you are trying to fill. You get to choose what you fill it with. If you have time to think at work, plan something, anything that doesn't include food. Look to your future or past. Imagine your dream house not your dream meal, remember a happy time (that doesn't involve food) in great detail. Find ways to have fun or socialize that don't involve food or drink. Control your thoughts and it will be easier to control your appetite.
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checkmatekingtwo wrote: »You're not logging anything. There's not a single day in the last two weeks where you logged a complete day, and most were completely blank. You say you pre-log your food, but where? As for the weekends. Try not drinking any alcohol for a few weeks. Besides saving you calories that you can instead use on chocolate, it also keeps your mind clear when you're socializing so you make good food choices. Also, sounds like you're depressed over your weekend activities, and since alcohol is a depressant, avoiding the wine on weekends might give you a better mental attitude. I'm not saying give up the wine forever (hey, you gave it up while pregnant, so you know you can do it), but it sounds like you need a mental re-set, and maybe this would do it. Just a thought.
Alcohol not only has a ton of calories, but tends to make you move less and eat more.0 -
Taking it one week at a time (banking calories to indulge) is a great strategy.
Another thought is try losing at a slower rate so you are less likely to fall off the wagon next time around. Who says it should be a pound or half pound per week. A pound a month loss is still a loss.
Having friends to support you and logging your foods so they are public can also help keep you accountable. I was very reluctant to make my diary open at first. I am so far from perfect. But I did and I have no regrets.0 -
Maybe when you start to obsess over food at work you could take a short break, get a glass of water and take the long way back to your desk.
And you don't need to drink to the point of hangover, stop at 1 bottle of wine between you and your husband and take that money you would normally spend on more and put it in a jar to go on vacation together; make it a team effort to cut back on the drinking.
I have a real problem controlling how much ice cream I eat and my lack of control has caused me to gain back 40 of the 80 lbs I had lost. So now I'm humiliated, embarrassed and angry with myself and want to just say f*** it. Instead I looking as tasty substitutions using protein mixes, allowing a candy bar, and changing how I eat all day. It's a slow process and a mental battle with myself. But after weeks of failure it has been 4 days with no ice cream and at the store yesterday I spent 20 minutes in the produce section and bypassed the ice cream aisle. Tonight when the craving hit I made a protein milkshake and put it in the freezer for about 45 minutes and it had the consistency of soft serve. I was still a little over in calories today but not like I have been lately and my craving is satisfied as well as my appetite.
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This is what has worked for me! I started atkins back in January. I know it's not for everyone. One of the biggest advantage s to this diet for me is after about 3 week s your cravings go away. I can stare down a plate of cookies and walk away. Ice cream which was my number one weakness, I can easily walk away from it and say Nah. I have lost a total of 20 lbs since January! Every month I am loosing between 5-7 lbs. Like I said I know this is not for everyone!0
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This is what has worked for me! I started atkins back in January. I know it's not for everyone. One of the biggest advantage s to this diet for me is after about 3 week s your cravings go away. I can stare down a plate of cookies and walk away. Ice cream which was my number one weakness, I can easily walk away from it and say Nah. I have lost a total of 20 lbs since January! Every month I am loosing between 5-7 lbs. Like I said I know this i0
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