Harder than I thought... is this normal?

I'm new to fitness pal. I'm just a week into it. and I've been really motivated. Counting calories hasn't really been a thing for me but with this program it seemed that I was finally doing something right this week and was looking forward to keeping it up. It was actually fun.

This morning, I allowed myself to eat a slice of cake and when I saw how many calories it ate up and what I was going to have to give up because of that piece of cake, it's like everything that had motivated me this week became everything that got me to feel so depressed and down on myself. I can't seem to stop the tears from falling and I'm wondering if I should just give up and go back to the way it was... but then I think of how much I hate my body right now and that I shoudn't give up. Is it normal that this feels so intense? Hopefully I won't have many days like today... I'm emotionally drained.

Looking forward to hearing from others about this.
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Replies

  • drivenbonkers
    drivenbonkers Posts: 33 Member
    Like doing anything in life that's worthwhile, it can be hard sometimes.

    You will have good days, better days, 'the BEST days EVAR!', and even a crappy day or two, just to keep things mixed up.

    I found there's a giant learning curve to this weight loss stuff, and it can be overwhelming. I've used MFP to plan my meals in advance, it saved that 'OMG!!!!' moment after. Once of those was quite enough, thank you.

    It was quite an eyeopener to discover just how much I was eating before I started tracking calories. My 'usual' plate of pasta would feed 4 children and their pet gorilla for the day.

    Do your best for the rest of today and tomorrow and the day after. As you learn to make better choices for you, it does become easier. You will learn how to fit in a slice of cake, or any other treat into your daily calories and NOT feel deprived or overwhelmed.

    Chin up, and carry on!

  • tedioustrainingap
    tedioustrainingap Posts: 78 Member
    Another thing worth looking into is zigzag dieting. By the end of the week (for example) you would consume the same amount of calories as you are allowed now but your daily intake varies. It creates the opportunity to have guilt and stress free treats. Some feel it is better for the metabolism than a strict low cal diet. Some feel it's better for the soul :)
  • HannaSusi
    HannaSusi Posts: 857 Member
    So you had a piece of cake. It really isn't a big deal. You can go over your calories one day and in the grand scale of things it wont change anything. OR you can suck it up and keep your calories low and go to bed hungry. It really is your choice.

    It's normal to feel strongly about these things. You are doing something really really good for yourself, you are loving yourself enough to want to change. Minor things will seem huge. Just try to keep in mind that this process, this change of a lifestyle, will be with you for the rest of your LIFE. One piece of cake is nothing, one day or week doesn't really matter.

    Also, cake wont disappear from the world even if you don't eat it for a while. It will wait for you :)

    You wouldn't slash your 3 remaining tires if you get one flat, right? You just fix it and keep going. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to keep being awesome :)
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
    I'm new to fitness pal. I'm just a week into it. and I've been really motivated. Counting calories hasn't really been a thing for me but with this program it seemed that I was finally doing something right this week and was looking forward to keeping it up. It was actually fun.

    This morning, I allowed myself to eat a slice of cake and when I saw how many calories it ate up and what I was going to have to give up because of that piece of cake, it's like everything that had motivated me this week became everything that got me to feel so depressed and down on myself. I can't seem to stop the tears from falling and I'm wondering if I should just give up and go back to the way it was... but then I think of how much I hate my body right now and that I shoudn't give up. Is it normal that this feels so intense? Hopefully I won't have many days like today... I'm emotionally drained.

    Looking forward to hearing from others about this.

    Honestly, it's nothing to get upset over. I go over my calories all the time, but it usually evens out over the week, and I still end up losing weight, but maybe 0.1-0.2 lbs less than I had planned. Sometimes, I still lose the amount I wanted to. And don't worry about immediate weight gains after overeating. They are mostly water and food weight, and will be gone within a couple of days!
  • Sweetie_1103
    Sweetie_1103 Posts: 10 Member
    edited June 2015
    HannaSusi wrote: »
    You wouldn't slash your 3 remaining tires if you get one flat, right? You just fix it and keep going.

    Love this.­.. I'll have to remember this quote. Thank you. :)

    fatcity66 wrote: »
    it it usually evens out over the week, and I still end up losing weight

    I had never thought of looking at it that way... I guess I was being a bit too hard on myself. A lot of times this week I had calories leftover. It's just getting used to setting limits and compromises. I won't have my pizza out today but maybe Monday, I'll allow myself to go. I have to get it in my perfectionist head that it's okay to not have everything right away. I think I just had a little: ''do I have what it takes to make these changes'' type of moment.

    I have a feeling the community here is going to play a major role in staying motivated... thanks a bunch gals and have a great weekend. :)
  • rbee2015
    rbee2015 Posts: 50 Member
    This is a long slow journey. You will get used to the calorie counting, at first it is shocking to realize how many calories are packed into just a tiny amount of food. After awhile you will figure out how to spend your calories wisely. Nutrient dense foods are best and they can taste really yummy. The occasional slip will not undo your progress, you will just accept it and keep on moving. Other people will always be around to cheer you on! You can do it, don't look back because you are not going that way. :)
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    Sounds like you feel like you made the wrong choice (cake) and you regret what you'll have to 'give up' for it. It might be helpful for you to start prelogging your food, including prelogging treats like cake, so that you don't start demonizing it.

    One day, one meal, one food will not undo your progress.
  • reneerrt
    reneerrt Posts: 5 Member
    I also have bad days. For example if I see cookies on the counter I may eat 6. Not 1 like a normal person and then say "crap I shouldnt have done that". But its done count it and move on. At least it was 1 slice not 1/2 the cake. However when I do that I make sure to fit in a little extra physical activity. That will also hep to balance things out Hope this helps and good luck
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    edited June 2015
    You're ready to give up after a week and one piece of cake? Really? Get a grip...if you think you're going to be 100% perfect all of the time for the rest of your life and if you can't be, you're just going to throw in the towel, you're never going to accomplish a damned thing. Let go of the all or nothing mentality, it will fecking destroy you.

    I'm 3 years into this madness...guess how many pieces of cake I've had along the way....hint...lots of cake. You need to wrap your head around the FACT that this is a long and slow slug fest...your health, nutrition, fitness, etc is not just for this week or next week...these things are life long endeavors...you will never be 100% perfect...you just strive to be the best you can be today and to do a bit better tomorrow...that's all you can do.

    There will always be holidays and birthdays and parties and BBQs and random nights out getting sloshed and *kitten* is going to happen and you're going to miss workouts, etc...but guess what? In the grand scheme of things, if you're doing things "right" most of the time, these other things become pretty much irrelevant...maybe look at the bigger picture of things.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,345 Member
    You log it and you move on ...we've all been there done that. I pre-log treats and then make a decision if still to go ahead and eat it, sometimes I just savour half a portion, or if I have the calories to spare I enjoy every mouthful, no guilt allowed :smiley:
    Just keep on going, this is a slow process but its totally worth it :smile:
  • maximumcutie
    maximumcutie Posts: 33 Member
    I hear you sweetie_1103. I fight that depression and want to give up all the time. I don't always have good days. And sometimes I give in and eat the pizza (and I mean like a whole pizza once), lol, but I just log it and go from there. What I have learned is that one day doesn't make you fat nor does one day make you fit. So even though it's easy to feel defeated when you have a setback, just keep going. You gotta be in it for the long haul, otherwise the weight won't stay off. At least that's what I'm trying - working to make it sustainable over the rest of my life - and reality is that I cant eat perfect all the time. I get stressed and sad and eat. I'm just working on doing it less often. Plus so long as you keep logging it, you've got the record and hopefully you'll have a better day tomorrow to make up for the cake today.
  • pznatti
    pznatti Posts: 51 Member
    And my remembering at those times is that we are in this for the long haul... Real changes over time and not just a quick fix for the short run. If you are willing to spend years getting healthy and feeling better about yourself, then messing up once in a while doesn't really seem like a mess up... Instead, it's life... Because how good would life be without that occasional piece of cake?
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
    The way you should look at it is that this ONE piece of cake hasn't screwed up your progress. One lousy day won't ruin everything that you've accomplished. It has taken me a long time to realize this myself but once I did it has totally changed the way that I look at my weightloss journey. That is why I haven't quit this time, because I realize that one bump is nothing compared to the hard work that I put in.
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
    It's fine. Keep going.

    In the future, pre-log. No nasty surprises. :) You can also save calories for the end of the day!
  • Sweetie_1103
    Sweetie_1103 Posts: 10 Member
    Thanks everone... I know all this of course.. and I realize I might have overreacted... it's just that weight has always been a sore subject for me... I did pre-log the rest of my day and it turned out fine... but even if it didn't it's not the end of the world. I think I just felt overwhelmed at the huge change in my lifestyle. I will try and pre-log as much as I can from now on and leave myself some wiggle room for treats... After all, eliminating everything delicious is not the point here right? Moderation. :)
  • tedioustrainingap
    tedioustrainingap Posts: 78 Member
    Thanks everone... I know all this of course.. and I realize I might have overreacted... it's just that weight has always been a sore subject for me... I did pre-log the rest of my day and it turned out fine... but even if it didn't it's not the end of the world. I think I just felt overwhelmed at the huge change in my lifestyle. I will try and pre-log as much as I can from now on and leave myself some wiggle room for treats... After all, eliminating everything delicious is not the point here right? Moderation. :)

    I absolutely agree! I saw someone write recently about fighting cravings. They termed it as choosing the pain of self discipline vs the pain of regret. That's some incredibly negative language. I don't think we need to martyr ourselves. There is a rational, positive (and dare I say, enjoyable) approach and it sounds like you're taking it. Good for you :) because the less bound up in negativity this journey is, the more sustainable (and therefore effective) it will be.
  • momar23
    momar23 Posts: 292 Member
    HannaSusi wrote: »
    So you had a piece of cake. It really isn't a big deal. You can go over your calories one day and in the grand scale of things it wont change anything. OR you can suck it up and keep your calories low and go to bed hungry. It really is your choice.

    It's normal to feel strongly about these things. You are doing something really really good for yourself, you are loving yourself enough to want to change. Minor things will seem huge. Just try to keep in mind that this process, this change of a lifestyle, will be with you for the rest of your LIFE. One piece of cake is nothing, one day or week doesn't really matter.

    Also, cake wont disappear from the world even if you don't eat it for a while. It will wait for you :)

    You wouldn't slash your 3 remaining tires if you get one flat, right? You just fix it and keep going. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to keep being awesome :)

    Well said
  • elize7
    elize7 Posts: 1,088 Member
    For the first three months of a very strict diet/exercise plan, I found that I would cry several times a day for no apparent reason. I think there is truth to the idea that your fat acts as a shield for your pain, and that losing your shield releases some of the pain. I stuck with my plan through it, and now the crying has levelled off and I have lost 65 pounds. Feeling pretty good about that. I say stick with your plan, feelings come and go, but losing the weight is worth it!
  • colls0325
    colls0325 Posts: 15 Member
    My biggest break through came when I realized I was allowing food to make me feel guilt and then that guilt would make me feel depressed and I would give up and stop trying to control my calories. Eventually I would get motivated to try again until I had that piece of cake and the cycle began again. I still have setbacks occasionally, but once I stopped letting food cause guilt, I stopped allowing one bad meal or one bad day to completely derail me. Good Luck!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    I agree that it's pretty depressing at times, but it's not undoable. I mean, you probably won't eat a piece of cake every day anyway (let's be honest though... I eat cake maybe once a month, if that. I've pretty much switched to ice cream as dessert as it's easier to fit in 120-200 calories than 400).

    The important thing is to stick to a REASONABLE deficit, so you don't have to deprive yourself completely. If you're set to lose 2 pounds a week, switch to 1 pound a week. It will still be better than giving up. And eat half your exercise calories too. I've lost 80 pounds and never had to eat less than 1650 calories.

    Then think about what you REALLY want to eat. And make it fit. I might forego the bun on a burger or hotdog so I can have a serving of ice cream, for example. Or if I really want a burger, I'll have broccoli on the side instead of fries, and I'll go light on the toppings, or even better, I'll make it myself at home with a smaller 90% patty. And if I really want lasagna for dinner, I'll try to just have grilled chicken and veggies for lunch, etc.

    I have a major sweet tooth so I completely get it though! Sometimes I crave some dessert for weeks before I eventually have the spare calories to give in (I'm maintaining but I'm way hungrier now than when I was losing). And sometimes I just don't bother because in the end I just don't want it enough to waste a ton of calories on it. But when I finally give in and it fits my calories, I REALLY enjoy it.