I keep sabotaging myself

I was about to post the same thing! At night when I'm sitting on the couch watching TV I end up binge eating and I just don't know why...

Is there someone you can call when you start eating everything? Like a "support friend, or a fit friend" - they might be able to say "HEY! Stay on track!" "don't eat that, eat this!" etc ???

Lazz5k wrote: »

Is there someone you can call when you start eating everything? Like a "support friend, or a fit friend" - they might be able to say "HEY! Stay on track!" "don't eat that, eat this!" etc ???

That's a good idea, I should find one haha

I have been there and done that. Lost 80lb...close to goal weight...then had one of those weak moments and gained more than half of it back.

Kicked myself in the butt...then started again.

This time is different...this time I changed my thinking. It is truly for the first time...more about my health and long term benefits. Don't get me wrong...I want the weight gone...but health has taken the high priority.

I have not cut any food groups out...I still eat out...still buy some processed...still eat sugar. These foods however have taken a back seat to what I want to accomplish. I eat now to nourish my body and what it needs. Once that is done I can have anything that I want. I just have found out...I really have no desire for much else.

I believe in moderation but if I can't seem to moderate a certain food...I just mark it off my grocery list. I don't have to prove anything about "will power" or "self-control". Some might say that is a weakness...I however call it knowing myself and my weaknesses.

There is no one answer to the self sabotage...I searched for one for years. I finally decided to accept that I do it to myself and for some strange reason I do it less and less.

Oh well...sorry about my chapter 1 in my book of run on and on but I have been thinking a lot here lately...what is different for me now than before. Something has clicked for me...maybe a lot of somethings...

Good luck people...

Heyo!

So the evening is when, for me, the slight hunger from the day catches up with me. Some folks say "you shouldn't feel hungry when cutting calories!" Well you know what? I do...I've lost 125+ lbs, and I will freely say that no matter how much good fiber/veggies I eat, I will always feel a tiny, tiny bit hungry at the end of the day (from about 9pm until bed time) if I am cutting properly. (PS: This isn't some pro-ana stuff - I am BMI 23.6 and eat about 1500/day when cutting, with a goal of BMI 22.)

That being said - this meant that I had to negotiate a new relationship with that feeling of hunger. We are biological beings. The urge to eat when we are hungry is one of the things that has kept us alive as a species. But some of us (like me) don't have that urge turned off even when it would be good for us.

Try sitting with your hunger. When you feel it, instead of letting that impulse take over find another outlet. Grab a glass of water, leave the kitchen. Feel the hunger in your stomach. Maybe write about how it makes you feel. Maybe talk about it to a friend or a loved one. What I do is I go to my very supportive fiance and we have a little snuggle. I tell him how I'm feeling, and we hug instead (trading one kind of sweetness for another!)

I learned re-calibrate my relationship to food. If hunger and cravings and out-of-control eating are what you're feeling, this may help!

What about not having 'crap'(ha ha!) in the house? Or factor it into your daily allowance?

Maybe have a snack box, where you keep treats and stuff - but only those that are within your limits? So for example, each morning, put together a Tupperware container (or similar), with the things you know you're likely to want to nom in the evening but account for them before you do anything else. That way you know you've fitted them in. Does that make sense?

Do you think that fatigue makes you reach for the easy stuff? I know that when I have long work days (which happens a lot because my beloved and I run our own business, so 12 hour days are pretty normal for us), I honestly don't want to then start cooking at say, 8pm, even though I adore cooking. What I tend to do is make something in the morning, which can be heated up in the evening, or I keep really quick stuff in the cupboard, e.g. bags of gnocchi/pasta and jars of pesto. I can have a meal on the table in 10 minutes! I have to admit though, that when I'm super-tired, there is a massive temptation to just grab a packet of cookies!

I also make sure I have lots of fruit and a big bowl of baby plum tomatoes on the kitchen bar - that way it really doesn't matter if I snack on those. I eat so many cherries and tomatoes, I'll probably look like them soon!

Something I used to find was that before I went through menopause, when I was hormonal, I'd get terrible cravings for sweet stuff. When I was actually going through menopause, it was alcohol and fatty stuff. I'm so glad all that is over with because I don't get those cravings any more but honestly, at the time, it was like there was this big green rage monster inside me, yelling to be fed! Unfortunately, I often gave in... which I guess is one reason I'm here now!

I think the most difficult thing about doing anything is getting into the habit; however after a couple of weeks, it should start to feel like second nature, so why not set mini goals to get you there? Maybe for the first week, on alternate evenings, have only 'healthy' stuff, then the second week, add in another evening, and so forth. Perhaps it's simply just a case of feeling overwhelmed by trying to have everything perfect at once.

When all is said and done, we all have to find our own strategies for success, and sometimes it takes a bit of experimentation until we get it right. What works for me might not work for you but it might give you ideas.. and sometimes that's all we need - a gentle nudge in the right direction.

But honestly, if you mess up, don't beat yourself up over it, draw a line under that 'incident', and say "OK, now I'll do better". I honestly believe that being negative about doing something that we perceive to be wrong or bad, is counterproductive. We all screw up, even the most virtuous among us (but not everyone will admit it!) - the trick to is not let is sabotage the rest of our efforts.

Hope you can find a way... in fact, I'm sure you will - but only you can decide what that way is. Do what's right for you, not what other people tell you should be doing.

Good luck!

ETA: I find that eating late helps, as does going to bed early (I read, listen to an audio book, take my laptop, watch a TV show or movie... sometimes I even sleep!) - there is no way I'm going to eat in bed, and I'm too lazy to get out of bed just to grab a snack!

Gotta break up that evening routine. Go for a walk, take a course, do whatever you need to do to not overeat.

I notice this is my worst time for snacking as well, but just have to focus. I tend to wind down in the evening and catch up on Netflix, when I do that I tend to mindlessly snack. Gotta remember the goal and do some light calisthenics or supplement with lower calorie options.

michaela_g09 wrote: »

whenever I get bored at home at night (because I've noticed myself doing this sometimes) and I find myself going to look in the cabinets, I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. you don't want to eat after that so by the time the toothpaste taste is gone, so is the urge to eat. hope this helps

Yeah I would agree, either go brush your teeth or chew some minty gum, I find that helps

This was me as well. I'd easily consume 3 times the calories at night as I did in the day.

I'm just on my 3rd week since deciding I needed to change but aside from one piece of toast one night, I haven't done any night/evening snacking.

A few things I'm doing that helps me:

If I feel the need to snack I get up and drink a glass of water first. Mostly the urge passes. If not, I get out the toothbrush as was mentioned above.

Pre-logging my food helps me see if there is anything left for a treat and I plan for that treat.

Most important, I cut down on TV time. Instead I go for a walk, or go out back and throw the ball with the dog or even nice relaxing bubble bath or just sit outside and play on my tablet. Not being on that couch helps a lot.

Food can be a way of punishment like an alcoholic or a cutter ...when someone feels hopeless or angry then we turn to food a comfort but also a weapon to hurt ourselves ....get healthy snacks...decide what you want to change first about your nighttime routine and start small... I ❤️❤️❤️❤️ getting up in the middle of the night and eating it felt awesome also I grew up watching my mom do the extra same thing (she still does) I felt awful about like a failure but I decided I no longer wanted so through ALOT of prayer and tears I just stopped cause it's what I wanted today makes 30 days of no middle of the night eating start small good luck